[Ganashi]

SPOILER ALERT: Spoilers to 7th Harry Potter

PS. For those of you who can't read the spoiler alert you probably can't read the following episode.

P.S.S: There is a Liberachi Museum in Las Vegas?

Voldemort's Secret Hideout:

"Ha, ha you lose again!" Voldemort laughed spitting out chunks of frittos and pointing at a Death Easter later called Wimpy. "Ha, five of a kind Aces totally beats four of a kind kings!" the Death Eaters looked at each other afriad to say something. A fat death eater walks in by the name of Dennis.

"Dude their is tottally no five of a kind in poker" he says walking in and taking a seat at the poker table.

"Dennis shut up they don't know that"

"Dude they tottally do"

Voldemort points his wand at wimpy "Avada Kedarva!", Wimpy falls dead to the ground. "See what you did now you made that happen". Before Dennis can speak the phone rings "Voldemort ruler of all evil" their is a pause as someone speaks. "Oh hey Lucious, hey guys it's just Lucious" there is more talking from the other end. "What?! How did they escape--- a Dolby, they got saved by a TV?---- Well what the hell was he doing there?---- She lost her wand? Do you realive I haven't even pay that off yet. Well it's alright we still have Olivander---- What!---- Oh, oh just buy another one? Wow, like I wouldn't have though of that. Where do you think this money is coming from? How much do you think I get paid for being the Dark Lord, I mean Dennis works part time at a damn Arby's to pay off the hideouts electric bills.------ Oh god don't cry, don't cry everything will be okay, alright? Papa Volde has got it all okay. ---- um love you too, bye."

Everyone is quiet, "um so ya" voldemort says. "Well I got to go, see you around, hey Dennis could I borrow your Subbaru Imprezza"

"Sure just bring it back by five cause I've got to go to work. Plus can't you like fly?"

"Uh yeah I can it's just that my back is killing me"

"Well alright just have it back by five, cause it's wensday too"

"Ah right, comicbook day, well take it sleazy"

"Bye" Voldemort leaves out the door, everyone laughs.

[Fable06]

OMG! That's hillarious.

[Hoof Hearted]

Genius dude, complete genius. Please continue with it.

[Thebazilly]

LOL, it cannot be killed. I saw the first topic. Nice job. I love sillyness.

[Ganashi]

Lord Voldemort and the Tale of Mad-eye Moody:

"Muhahahaha I have nearly killed Mad-eye" Voldemort says to Dennis standing in the backyard of the Dursley's. Mad-eye is laying down in front of him, Voldemort reaches down and pulls out Mad-eye's eye (that is mad?). Mad-eye suddenly wakes up.

"What the hell!" he screams.

"Holy crap! He's alive!" Voldemort says.

"Of course i'm alive give me back my eye!"

"No, your like almost dead"

"No i'm not I feel fine"

"Well I wounded you"

"No actually I feel good, I think i'll go for a walk"

"Don't be ridiculous I hit you with a killing curse"

"Well I feel fine"

"Well your probably are in so much pain you don't feel it"

"No I mean i'm fine"

"No you aren't, silence!"

"No give me back my eye"

"Shut up you!"

"No not till you give me back my eye!"

"Shut up i'm keeping it!"

"What the hell would you do with a magical eye? Nail it to a Friggen door?"

"Maybe!"

"I dare you too!"

"Oh yeah well fine"

"Fine, i'm just going to get my flask and go. When should I come by to see if you did it"

"Uh Dennis is wensday good?"

"No you have a bunch of appointments, unless you want to move rescue me back"

"No, no I need to watch it."

"Well you no we could just tivo it, we have it on season pass anyway"

"Eh it's just that I like to watch it live"

"Well yeah but Friday morning is clear."

"Oh no I got palaties on Friday mornings" Mad-eye says.

"Oh my god you take palaties, I mean don't you have a bad leg" Voldemort says.

"Well yeah that is the whole point"

"So um how about sunday morning it's not like i go to church"

"Eh me either, so i'll see you then"

"Sure"

"Alright bye" Mad-eye says getting up and walking off down the street.

"Wait one second" Voldemort says. "Wasn't I supposed to kill him?"

"Uh yeah" Dennis says.

"Ah crap"

"Well we can just kill him on Sunday"

"No, no it's to late. Plus i'm going to Germany right after, I don't have time for the whole big battle"

"Ah to bad"

"Yeah I know, lets go get potter"

"We don't know which one he is"

"He is with Hagrid stupid, they are like best freinds plus Potter got to fat to ride a broom"

"Alright well lets go" they both head off.

[Murtagh-Thorn]

This is so awesome!!! Please keep going.

[Thebazilly]

LOL, Monty Python is teh best! Nice job.

[Fable06]

Lmao nice!!

[Ganashi]

Lord Voldemort and the Creative Planning Department.

"So guys I need ideas on how to kill potter, any suggestions" Voldemort says dawnig his egyptian cotton pajamas. "Wendy give me somethin' good"

"Well we could sick a troll on him" A red haired lady says banging her pencil gently on the desk.

"I like it" Wendy smiles. "To bad we did it and it failed miserably, Dennis my man give me something good."

"Well we could steal Ginny, she is Harry's girl freind"

"Ginny? You mean that red-haired evil ginger kids sister?"

"Uh, yeah"

"Dude he is like two years older then her, that would be disgusting if they were going out. I mean do you ever see them having kids one day. And while your at it why don't you just say they'll name it after snape here! hahaha!" Snape gives a little scoff. "Wormtail, hey wait aren't you supposed to be dead?" Wormtail scurries into a hole in the wall that is three feet big. "Um okay, Josh"

"We could always use the super wand."

"Yeah.. But that means i'd have to steal it from that old guys grave"

"So."

"It's all icky and stuff"

"So"

"So why don't you do it?"

"Because then i would be the master of the wand"

"Yeah... well I could just kill you"

"No way, why don't you get Dennis to do it"

"No way dude"

"That's enough!" Voldemort yells. "You're making Mr. Boots upset" Voldemort says petting a white cat on his laps. "I'm sawee Mr. Boots, did the two idiots upset, you, i'm sawee. Fine i'll go get it."

"Um sir" says the smart guy in the corner. "Don't you think you should be protecting your Horocruxes?"

'How the hell do you know about those!"

"Dude, everyone knows, your snakes crap has been shreiking at us. It's not cool."

"Oh yeah well your not cool. Avada Kedarva!" the smart guy falls to the floor. "So i'll go get it tommorow night, for now it is Dr. Phil time" Voldemort strodes out of the room.

This post has been edited by Ganashi: 17 August 2007 - 04:05 PM

[murtagh's second brother]

meh, great post, made me laugh quick post more!

[Murtagh-Thorn]

Nice! Can't say much more really... Just that it was damn funny

[Hoof Hearted]

Dr. Phil time...genius. Pure genius.

[Thebazilly]

LOL, "It's all icky and stuff..."

[Ganashi]

Snapes on a Plane Part one:

"Why the hell are we flying SouthWest?" Snape says to Voldemort.

"Because it is cheaper, duh" Voldemort says paying 80% of his attention to his PSP.

"And since when the hell did SouthWest get flights to Hogwarts"

"Since it got a cream for it, Oh!"

"Oh! Nice one" Dennis says walking up to them.

"Where the hell were you" says Snape his eyebrow up.

"Dude when a man has to drop a Big Daddy he has to drop one"

"Don't you think it is to soon for a Bioshock reference?"

"Hell no."

"Guys" Voldemort says taking off his head phones. Kanye West's "Stronger" playing on the headphones "are we set to go".

"Chell Yes" Dennis says"

"Yup" Snape says.

"Alright lets go" Voldemort says walking toward the security line. They walk through and see people grabbing plastic bins so they do the same. A punk white 26 year old girl stands there.

"No metal items please take them off and put them in the bin". Voldemort takes off his belt, and puts it in the bin. The bottom half of his robes start sagging, he tries to walk through the metal detector but the girl stops him. "Your shoes too" Voldemort sighs and takes off his nike's. He walks through no sound, he smiles. Dennis takes his shoes and belt off and takes a Lord Of The Rings Replica Witch King Sword from under his robes. He puts them on the tray and a security person grabs the sword and whispers into Dennis's ear. Him and the security guard go to a back room. Snape takes off his shoes and takes out his copy of "A thousand little peices" and puts both in the bin. He walks through the metall detector and nothing sounds.

"Sweet" Snape says.

"Where did Dennis go" Voldemort asks.

"Dunno"

"Oh well"

"Eh" Snape steps up and a man takes a clear vial from his bag.

"What is this sir?"

"Truth Serium"

"Uh, no liquid exceeding 3.0 sir" he throws it in the trash. Snape tries to speak but Voldemort grabs him and they go and board the plane. They sit down, and Dennis walks up grabbing his butt.

"Ha! Looks like little sister just hit back" Snape says, Voldemort and him burst out laughing.

"Dude that is so not funny" Denis says gently sitting down next to them gently.

"Yes, yes it is"

"Oh well your going to be killed anyway" Dennis mur murs sitting toward the aisle.

"What?" Snape asks Voldemort shooting him a dirty look from the window seat.

"Nothing"

_____________________________________________________________

Sorry it took a while guys, just been real busy. Hope you like it, more coming up.

[Poetic Elf]

This is possitively hilarious. I don't think Voldy can get any funnier than this.