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The Standoff C3? Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   Gragon Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 05:29 PM

Prolouge: The Power

Gragon sat in the tavern named "The Saphira Fanclub," her fans sat chatting and drinking their beers. He was talking to a triology Moderator named Gonff. They were were insulting each other jokingly. Gonff with his green sword belted against his green tunic.


Then the tavern doors banged openand Elazar rushed in, he was the tavern's owner. Everyone gave a cheerthat was quieted as he spoke. "They're coming!" He yelled as he pulled out his sword. Everyone scrambled as they pulled out daggers or swords, everyone knew who "they" were. Gonff drew his sword as he drew close to Elazar. He whispered something into Elazar's ear. Gonff drew in a sharp breath as he got a whispered reply, everyone stood ready with they're weapons.


Gragon sighed and fingered his tunic. He had spent all his wages on it. He hated being a meat packer. Around him, the air was tense. Then a side wall was blasted away, Antis poured in and attacked the anstonished Fans. The Fans were about to tip the the tables over when Gragon shouted. "Hold it!" Everyone looked at him as he picked up his drin and leaned against the wall. "Ok, go ahead." He said, and they did. Gragon stood watching with mild interest. He suddenly saw why the Antis were saw orginized. In the middle stood Hresvelgr, they're leader. He defied the color code and were a pale red tunic. He was battling Gonff. His pale red tunic and Gonff's green stood out among the roiling sea of black tunics. Then a lone figure appeared in it's burgandy tunic, as the fighting stopped the figure moved in the light. Everyone yelped and panic. It was Hadhafang, one of the lead global Moderater.


"Everyone! Out! And no more fighting!" Hadhafang ordered. "And you four, come with me." She said pointing to Hresvelgr, Elazar, Gonff, and Gragon. After they had a little chat that involved lots of accusing. They were let free. Gragon felt like laughing. Hadhafang being stern was just an act. Only he knew that she wasn't the terror of childrens. When he got home he began writing a letter to Athryn, The Revered One, he thought out the letter carefully. He asked for more protection against the Antis. He explained that innocent Fans were being hurt, or killed. He sent the not with a snap of his finger. He watched as it turned to smoke and drifted towards the person going to get it.


A week later he got his reply. he was watching in the Sapphira Fanclub as Hresvelgr with three other Antis were trapped by Gonff and the other Fans including Elazar. Gonff was laughing, "you Antis never give up do you?" Hresvelgr didn't answer has he had a sword to his neck, but his eyes were murderous. Suddenly Gragon and Elazar rose hight in the air, their tunics changing. Elazar's sword changed color as Gragon accuired one. They also noticed Gonff and Hresvelgr lifted in the air but not as high. When they were set down Elazar and Gragon had silk blue tunics with swords to match the color. Gonff instead of green was torquise. While Hresvelgr was light green, lighter then the triology moderators. He also, instead of a sword weilded a meduim tomahawk, ends as sharp as obsiden. Everyone scattered. A letter fluttered on Gragon's shoulder as Hresvelgr bolted. He looked at the note, it was from Athryn. He tore it open. It read:


"Granted. But since we admins like the Antis verus Fans squablle, I gave Hresvelgr the same power as yours."
----------------------------------------



What do you think? I thank [name deleted] who's book got me started writing it. Hope you guys like it. Oh, and like [name deleted]'s, the real ppl aren't like in the book.

If you want in it, plz leave a comment in my profile, not here. Though comment about the bok.

This post has been edited by Gragon: 30 October 2007 - 06:43 PM


#2 User is offline   Tabasco Cat Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 05:35 PM

It's OK. Just fix the grammar.

Mentions of me = luff.
With the whole world crumbling, we pick this time to fall in love.

#3 User is offline   Gonff Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 05:37 PM

Cool, man! The opposite, this time, the anti's are the bad guys! rambo.gif

#4 User is offline   Gragon Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 05:45 PM

Yup, them bad Antis Ad, I know, my Grammer is atrousous

#5 User is offline   Thorin Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 06:25 PM

Take me out.

#6 User is offline   Hadhafang Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 07:30 PM

Wewt wewt =P Nice start.

Wee, terror of childrens. Me likey that.
I AM EVERYWHERE

Sarah Walker <3

#7 User is offline   Elazar Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 09:00 PM

surely the story will continue right/ I am anxious to se what we do next, this is very entertaining.


Spyro: "Cynder, you're a genius!"
Cynder: "I have my moments."

#8 User is offline   Eridorgalfius Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 09:10 PM

Yes, please continue. I won't critic much, because I'm not much of a writer, at least, I don't think so.






Eridor (Spencer) Herzog

#9 User is offline   Gragon Icon

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Posted 23 October 2007 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE(Thorin @ Oct 23 2007, 04:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Take me out.


Why? And thanks everyone for the suppport. If you find a part funny, please post it. Mine is "Hold it!" Picks up beer and leans aginst the wall. "Ok, go ahead."

This post has been edited by Gragon: 23 October 2007 - 10:03 PM


#10 User is offline   Thorin Icon

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Posted 24 October 2007 - 04:05 PM

QUOTE
Why?


Because I don't feel like I want to be part of a story that steals directly from my own ideas without permission, that's why.

#11 User is offline   Gragon Icon

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Posted 24 October 2007 - 07:17 PM

QUOTE(Thorin @ Oct 24 2007, 02:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE
Why?


Because I don't feel like I want to be part of a story that steals directly from my own ideas without permission, that's why.



I barely did steal anything. I've been thinking about making an IF story long before I saw yours, yours just gave me the boost to write it. I'm starting a new chapter today.

#12 User is offline   Thorin Icon

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Posted 26 October 2007 - 03:35 PM

I'm assuming by "the boost to write it," you actually mean, "the plot, the ideas, the setting, and the entire storyline," right? Because that's exactly what you stole. Don't try to deny it, either - it's blatantly obvious.

Take me out, period. No mention of me whatsoever. If you want to continue the argument over PM, I would be very happy to do so.

#13 User is offline   Hadhafang Icon

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Posted 28 October 2007 - 09:10 AM

QUOTE
I'm assuming by "the boost to write it," you actually mean, "the plot, the ideas, the setting, and the entire storyline," right?


Gragon actually has been planning this for a couple months. He wanted to write a war story back when the Arya Fan Club was around. Just adding that in.

Anyway, when are you updating?
I AM EVERYWHERE

Sarah Walker <3

#14 User is offline   Gragon Icon

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Posted 28 October 2007 - 10:51 AM

Well, Thorin want's out so, I'm trying to find a new Anti leader before I continue.

#15 User is offline   Thorin Icon

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Posted 28 October 2007 - 11:53 AM

Edit me out now, please.

Hadha, I don't have anything against him writing a war story. I'm just annoyed that he's copying exactly from my war story.

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