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Path of the Dragon My book 3&4 through Thorn's pov. ExA, MxN, TxS (TxS kiss ch30) Rate Topic: ****- 80 Votes

Poll: Confessions. (123 member(s) have cast votes)

Who do you think should make the confession first?

  1. Saphira (48 votes [39.34%])

    Percentage of vote: 39.34%

  2. Thorn (74 votes [60.66%])

    Percentage of vote: 60.66%

Another confession question?

  1. Eragon (19 votes [15.57%])

    Percentage of vote: 15.57%

  2. Arya (103 votes [84.43%])

    Percentage of vote: 84.43%

One more?

  1. Murtagh (73 votes [59.84%])

    Percentage of vote: 59.84%

  2. Nasuada (49 votes [40.16%])

    Percentage of vote: 40.16%

Who do you think will be poisoned by the new shade, Kraten?

  1. Saphira (10 votes [8.40%])

    Percentage of vote: 8.40%

  2. Thorn (5 votes [4.20%])

    Percentage of vote: 4.20%

  3. Tearran (green dragon) (7 votes [5.88%])

    Percentage of vote: 5.88%

  4. Roran (12 votes [10.08%])

    Percentage of vote: 10.08%

  5. Katrina (16 votes [13.45%])

    Percentage of vote: 13.45%

  6. I'll just have to find out. (69 votes [57.98%])

    Percentage of vote: 57.98%

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#1 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 01:09 PM

What's up! My name is holyknight (I'm new here) and I am preparing to write down my first Inheritance fanfic. This is about my favorite dragon Thorn Crimsonwing (Heh! I made up a last name for him.) as he escapes from Uru`baen and joins the Varden along with Murtagh to find out the meaning of his birth. This story will also contain my theories of Thorn's fate and how that would affect the outcome of the war, so read carefully. I'm not very good at writing books but, at least I have you guys to help me out. Okay, here it goes:

Chapter 1: Enter the Ruby Dragon



Let us be off! Saphira said, while Eragon and Roran left their gear on the branch of a juniper tree. Eragon and Roran mounted Saphira as she quickly unfolded her translucent wings and flung her way into the air. After a few moments, Eragon pondered over the battle between Murtagh and Thorn. Saphira felt his emotions, Are you okay little one? she asked.

I'm fine, I was just thinking about what happened last night.

...Let's try to focus on rescuing the mate of you're nest mate.

Aye!

"I'm jealous," said Roran. Eragon looked behind himself to face Roran, "Why is that..." he asked. "If only I had a dragon I would make the king pay for kidnapping my fiancee." replied Roran with a smirk. Eragon smiled back, "In time, you may become one." he said.

By the time Saphira angled toward Helgrind, the group could see that it was always black as ever. The air was so intimidating and stone mountains enlarged as they approached. It was a place of death and it stood covered in sawtoothed folds as if to rise and haunt the Earth. Finally the group had reached the Ra'zac's lair, but there was no entrance except for a huge stone wall. If this is the place where Katrina is being held, then how could they manage to walk through this? thought Eragon. Both Eragon, Roran and Saphira took the moment to at least find a trigger for an opening. Saphira walked beside the stone wall sniffing the ground as Eragon glanced to where Saphira was standing he could see a portion of her right wing had vanished into the wall. "It's an illusion!" he shouted.

Roran walked towards Eragon and saw Saphira's right wing enveloped in the wall. To Saphira's surprise, she saw that a partial bit of her wing had gone missing against the magic wall. Roran held a hammer in his hand as he was surprised of the wall being a fake. Eragon and Roran borded Saphira again, as the dragoness pushed her way through the wall. Inside the cave, was a near dark and silent chamber. The only sound that could be heard was Saphira's breathing and the drip drops of moist plopping from the stalagmites on the ceiling into puddles below. Above all that, the distinctive odor was strong and almost unbearable like cold stone in rotting meat. The only thing Eragon and Roran had to rely on was Saphira's infared eyes as she slowly walked through the entrance.

Before much longer, the group heard a growling sound. It was like that of a predator guarding its territory. It sent the group to a feeling of both caution and attention. There was also the sound of multiple clickings, like hammers on a rock. Before any of the group could direct the noise, the source of the growl had shone itself. It was a giant Lethrblaka, its eyes were black, bulging and rimless, its beak is seven feet long, its wings are batlike, its torso was hairless and rippling with muscles and its claws were like iron spikes. Saphira tried to lunge out of the way, but the creature was too fast as it rammed its head into Saphira's side which sent Eragon and Roran crashing into the wall as they fell unconciously.

Eragon! cried Saphira.

The massive beast slowly advanced toward the down sapphire dragoness. Saphira tried to get up but she felt a throbbing pain and looked back and saw that her left hind leg has been fractured. Saphira almost yelped when she faced the Lethrblaka that was only two meters away from her face. The creature raised its lips exposing teeth larger than Saphira's talons. It was drooling hungrily, as if to eat the blue dragon. As much as Saphira could fight, she has gone panic-stricken. She felt that this is the end as she closed her eyes. The creature moved its big head lower to bite off Saphira's head. Suddenly as if out of nowhere, there was another roaring sound coming from the entrance of the cave. The Lethrblaka ceased and looked in the direction of the source of that roar. Saphira opened her eyes and in the blink of an eye, she saw something sparkling red crashing itself into the creatures side. It sent the Lethrblaka landing on its flank away from Saphira. She saw the red figure land in front of her. Saphira examined the red figure, it was lizard like, it had wings, talons, spikes on its back, and a long graceful tail. The red lizard turned its head and to Saphira's surprise, it turns out to be no other than Thorn Crimsonwing the young ruby red dragon she met at the Burning Plains.

Y-you! Saphira said.

The Lethrblaka was not finished, it stood up with its eyes turned to the other dragon as Thorn turned his view to the creature as if to guard Saphira. Now it's a one on one duel with Thorn against the Lethrblaka. The massive batlike creature stomps towards the red dragon as Thorn ran towards the Lethrblaka to counter him. The giant creature attempted to bite Thorn, but he was to fast for the creature grab hold of as the dragon had leapt sideways and shot a ball of fire at the creatures spine. The Lethrblaka roared in agony as smoke rose from its wound.

The Lethrblaka was raging mad. The painful roar suddenly awoke Roran as he saw another dragon battling the Lethrblaka. The creature charged for the kill, but Thorn was to smart to know better. Timing his chance carefully, the young ruby dragon leapt over the creatures head performing a cartwheel, which resulted in the Lethrblaka ramming its head against the wall. The force sent a short shudder in the cave that dust was falling from the roof. The creature shook its head to regain its bearings and roared angrily towards Thorn. The red dragon growled bravily as he saw the massive beast walk backwards into the shadows.

Something was wrong, Thorn knew the Lethrblaka was not yet finished. The red dragon stood his ground and scanned the entire chamber to make sure there was no sign of it. Thorn cautiously walks backwards taking at least a step or two as he felt his heart beat like a drum. Thorn turns himself around and sees a row of teeth as he felt himself pinned to the ground on his back by a row of talons. The creature strikes its head down to kill the trapped red dragon. Thinking fast, Thorn grabbed the creatures maw with both front paws. The massive beast tried to push its beak down to bite Thorn. After a few seconds of pushing the creatures mouth from him, Thorn gave a smug smile as he thought of an idea to escape the creatures grasp. He blew a stream of fire at the Lethrblaka's head. Eragon, who was still outcold, laid motionless while Roran and Saphira saw that the creatures head was no longer visible in the bright fiery blaze.

Miraculously, the Lethrblaka still had its head attached as Thorn escaped from the creatures feet. He saw an opening, the creature was agonizing by its sizzling head and gives him the chance to attack. Taking advantage of this, Thorn leapt and stretched out a talon to decapitate the massive beasts right wing. The Lethrblaka roared in much more painful agony as it limped. The creature could not take anymore, it staggered its way to the entrance of the cave and took one last look at Thorn. The red dragon roared to warn the Lethrblaka to never cross paths with him again. Afterwards, the creature stumbled out of the cave like a coward.

Although Saphira was happy to be rescued, but she still holds the same feelings toward him during their battle at Surda. Roran was very amazed to see a young dragon with so much potential and skill. Thorn turned his eyes toward Saphira.

Are you okay? he asked calmly.


!Whew! What do you think of that. Be sure to post me and I will continue my story. Smiliehappy.gif

This post has been edited by holyknight: 18 October 2009 - 10:00 AM

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

#2 User is offline   Holydragoon45 Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 02:04 PM

That was pretty good I would like to read more some day soon ok, and here is a pic of my new character
Attached File  female_werewolf.jpg (37.73K)
Number of downloads: 55 if you like this pic send me a pm please.
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#3 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 04:24 PM

QUOTE(Holydragoon45 @ Mar 3 2008, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That was pretty good I would like to read more some day soon ok, and here is a pic of my new character
Attached File  female_werewolf.jpg (37.73K)
Number of downloads: 55 if you like this pic send me a pm please.
I think it's cool, but anyway thanks for praising me. I'm just waiting for more posts to show up so I can move on. I'm new here in fact. thumbup.gif

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

#4 User is offline   ThornRulz Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 04:41 PM

HHMM...I like it! You could work a bit on the spelling and punctuation, though. But I really like the thought of Thorn protecting Saphira. So romantic! *Sigh*
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#5 User is offline   Haldir Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 04:52 PM

This is very good.
I want to see more! biggrin.gif

#6 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 04:59 PM

QUOTE(ThornRulz @ Mar 3 2008, 05:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
HHMM...I like it! You could work a bit on the spelling and punctuation, though. But I really like the thought of Thorn protecting Saphira. So romantic! *Sigh*
Oh yeah! welcome to my world. This story has a ton of surprises. And yes, Thorn will play the role of a hero instead of a villain. !!!GO THORN!!! I will post another chapter soon. Thanks ThornRulz.

This post has been edited by holyknight: 03 March 2008 - 06:03 PM

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

#7 User is offline   ThornRulz Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 05:00 PM

Yep, please write more! I like it.
90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this into your signature

#8 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 07:35 PM

!Heh Heh Heh! lol.gif You guys are really pushing my buttons, but before I move on to the next chapter where Thorn helps the group rescue Katrina I would like to ask you guys something. Who wants to volunteer in being my pen pal?

This post has been edited by holyknight: 03 March 2008 - 07:48 PM

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

#9 User is offline   Haldir Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 08:03 PM

well....im not that good in English so im kinda useless in that tongue.gif

#10 User is offline   Darkesmerian Icon

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Posted 03 March 2008 - 08:08 PM

Hey I would glady be your pen pal, oh and this is veeeeeery good, awsome. Oh and you need to c-level this if you haven't already.

This post has been edited by Ellesmerian: 03 March 2008 - 08:09 PM

Aaron is tha best thing that ever happend to me and I dont ever in a million years want to lose him. OMG JACOB TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF! Get over it! it's just jacob! @#$%#^#^#%^%%Pr

#11 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:02 PM

).gif Well Ellesmerian, if you wish to be my partner how would you like to handle Eragon's part of the story while I handle Thorn's? Anyone else who has some ideas let me know and we'll work together as a team. ;).gif Alright enough chattering, time to see Thorn in action. Here I go;

Chapter 2: Escape from Helgrind


By the tone of Thorn's voice, he sounded like that of a young matured lad. Almost as if he were a prince to be exact, despite his youth. His eyes were now showing signs of warmth and friendliness. There is also a lock with a broken chain on the ankle of his right hind leg. "You're amazing," Roran shouted with joy as Thorn turned his eyes to the young human. He could hear Eragon groaning to regain himself. Thorn, Roran and Saphira heard Eragon, while Roran walked towards him for support. Eragon opened his eyes and blinked for a better sight. "S-Saphira..." he asked Roran worringly. "She's fine, she just broke her leg," replied Roran. Eragon found Saphira laying on the ground as he also glanced at her hind leg that seemed out of joint. "What happened Saphira," he asked her with very much concern, but she did not answer as she kept her head pointed in another direction. Eragon faced the same way and was surprised that he nearly flinched as he saw Thorn standing opposite from the group.

"What are you doing here?" he asked frustratingly. Perhaps I'm the one that should be asking that to you. Thorn answered with a snort. Roran walked closer toward Eragon "We are here to find my future wife, Katrina," said Roran. Eragon tapped Roran's elbow with his arm,"Don't tell him the details we're not even sure if he is trying to--" before Eragon could finish his demands Thorn interrupted him and said, Shur'tugal, eka malabra ono un Saphira ne haina (Rider, I mean you and Saphira no harm).

Saphira's eyes widened after Thorn's speech in the ancient language. She knew that she could trust him a little, but she still has no likeness in him for biting her tail. Roran smiled and said "Eragon, Thorn saved us from our death's, he even rescued your dragon." Eragon felt dumbfounded, What is your business here? Eragon said in Thorn's mind. The ruby dragon echoed back, Murtagh and I humbly ask to rejoin the Varden and make up for what happened. Saphira fixed a sapphire eye on Eragon, Are you sure we can trust him little one, I for one do not approve.

Of Course! He said so in the ancient language. After this is over, we will fly back to Du Weldenvarden and have Oromis and Glaedr decide their fates.

Eragon looked all about for Murtagh, but he could not be spotted, "Where is Murtagh," he asked Thorn. The red dragon sounded off in Eragon's mind, We've split up and taken different routes, he should be here shortly. Eragon laid a hand on the fracture of Saphira's hind leg and chanted the words Waise heill as the bone dangling from her hind leg reattached itself and her wound closed. Eragon looked back towards Thorn, "Can you help us rescue Katrina?" he asked. Thorn acknowledged him by knodding his head. Stay close to me, Shadeslayer! Thorn said as the group followed him deeper into the chamber, following the sound of the broken chain on Thorn's ankle being dragged along the stone floor.

The group finally found the holding cell for prisoners, it was nearly darker back at the place where Thorn battled the Lethrblaka. The only light left was the slanted golden bars coming from the open windows inside every jail cell. Eragon found a filthy broad sword covered in webs that was confiscated by a row of other weapons. He clutched it by the handle and strapped it to his belt. Thorn saw a figure sitting motionless in a corner inside a cell. The figure appeared to be a women, her hair is uncombed, her dress has been ripped, her legs and arms were covered in bruises. Is this the woman you were searching for? Thorn asked Roran as he, Eragon and Saphira examined the unconcious figure.

Roran looked for a moment and recognized the woman's clothes, it was mostly indeed Katrina. He tried to rattle the iron bars with all his might, "I can't get it open," he said. "Stand back," Eragon said as he laid his hand on the keyhole and chanted jierda, the keyhole broke and door opened on its own. Roran darted forward to ckeck for any signs of life left in her. He brushed her hair from her face with his fingers, but Katrina did not open her eyes. "How is she?" Eragon asked as Roran carried the outcold woman in her arms, "She's seems unconcious, but otherwise fine."

Thorn and Saphira felt the presence of evil drawing nearer. The sound of hisses and clanking armor coming from the end of the hall. Eragon ran to check the commotion and saw a horde of Urgals and Ra'zac charging after the intruders. Eragon quickly slams the door shut and locks it with a thick board. Eragon unstrapped the sword from his belt, "Is there any way out?" he asked Thorn. The red dragon looked up at the ceiling and saw a chute where prisoners are thrown in. The only way out is through there, but it could only be unlocked from the outside. he replied. So we are trapped!? Saphira said worringly.

"Blast," Eragon shouted with fear.

The creatures were trying to barge in while the group readied themselves for anything. Suddenly, the hatch on the roof opened as sunlight gleamed through the hole. Thorn and the rest of the group looked up and saw a figure standing on the edge of the chute. Thorn, Eragon and Saphira sensed that it was Murtagh since he had Zar'roc strapped to his side. Murtagh leapt downward to assist the group until Eragon walked infront of him. "Is it true that the two of you wish to--" before Eragon could finish, everyone saw a spear puncture through the solid wooden door. "There is no time for apologies, we must make haste," Murtagh said as he quikly boarded Thorn while Eragon and Roran borded Saphira. Thorn darted for the sky followed by Saphira while Roran held Katrina tightly into his arms.

By the time the group reached for safety in the sky, Murtagh reached for his bow and pulled out a single arrow. Thorn steadied himself while Murtagh aimed for the prison chute on the island. Eragon, Roran and Saphira watched as the blade of the arrow glowed light red as Thorn's scales. Murtagh pulled the string and loudly chanted Brisingr and released the arrow to its target. Everyone watched the arrow exploded on contact which resulted in the entire tower to collapse slowly into a pile of rubble along with most of the Urgals and Ra'zac. Afterwards, the group flew back toward Surda to plan Murtagh and Thorn's fate.


!Oh man! That was pretty rough. I know I may not have done too good here, but I'll make sure to do better than this. Anyway post me for some of your thoughts and I will continue okay guys. Smiliehappy.gif

This post has been edited by holyknight: 23 March 2008 - 12:42 PM

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

#12 User is offline   ThornRulz Icon

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Posted 04 March 2008 - 04:14 PM

QUOTE(holyknight @ Mar 4 2008, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
).gif Well Ellesmerian, if you wish to be my partner how would you like to Eragon's part of the story while I handle Thorn's? Anyone else who has some ideas let me know and we'll work together as a team. ;).gif



I do! I want to be your partner too! Can I? Please? *Clears throat* Sorry you had to see that. I'm normally very serious. But seriously, me too! I hate to be left out!
90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this into your signature

#13 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 04 March 2008 - 04:43 PM

QUOTE(ThornRulz @ Mar 4 2008, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE(holyknight @ Mar 4 2008, 04:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
).gif Well Ellesmerian, if you wish to be my partner how would you like to Eragon's part of the story while I handle Thorn's? Anyone else who has some ideas let me know and we'll work together as a team. ;).gif



I do! I want to be your partner too! Can I? Please? *Clears throat* Sorry you had to see that. I'm normally very serious. But seriously, me too! I hate to be left out!
Guys, at times like this, nobody is left out. Anyone who likes this story is a friend of mine. ThornRulz if you wish, you can make you're own chapters. It won't hurt a bit. And remember "We are One". Just so you know I edited my second chapter onto that last post. Sorry for the confusion.Smilieblush.gif

This post has been edited by holyknight: 04 March 2008 - 04:51 PM

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

#14 User is offline   Holydragoon45 Icon

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Posted 05 March 2008 - 06:10 AM

Man that was excellent writing you can give me and my English 4 teacher a run for our money thanks for the comments I apprecate them and will be posting up the story that goes to my web site soon and tell me how much you like it
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#15 User is online   holyknight Icon

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Posted 05 March 2008 - 11:34 AM

biggrin.gif Guys I'm really glad that you like my story. At first, I thought no one would as most people assume Thorn is evil. I was quite surprised that people would actually like my first fanfic of Thorn becoming a hero. Thanks guys. And I'm not done yet, I am still trying to think of what to do in the third chapter unless if you guys can think of one (I don't mind). I want to make this story a lot similar to Eldest. Eragon does his part while Thorn goes on his journey. The riders journey and the dragons journey.;).gif

This post has been edited by holyknight: 05 March 2008 - 12:48 PM

The two biggest problems with the Inheritance Cycle is that Eragon is the protagonist and has too much page time to himself and not Thorn and Murtagh.
I'm a ThornxSaphira, EragonxArya, MurtaghxNasuada supporter.
Please read my fan-fic through Thorn's eyes, "Path of the Dragon".

Also read Gabriella's poems, they are the best, "One of my poems....."

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