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QUOTE(BartimaeusTrilogyFan @ Mar 12 2008, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I kinda liked DF and TP's script more lol. 
Therefore it has come to my attention that we shall write a new and better script than what our original "Director", Ellie, was trying to force us into.
So far we've had:
QUOTE
An IF production? Sounds interesting...
PREFACE
[DF is wearing a pink spandex cape and pacing back and forth.]
DF: I must know! I must avenge! ARGH!!
Elle: [Enters wearing a drag queen outfit and bunny ears] Hey there, my dark prince. Why so..tense?
DF: I just decided that I wanna avenge my mum and dad's death.
Elle: How are you going to do that, honey? [Gives him a once-over] Sexy oufit, dear.
DF: Thanks. I got it at Hot Topic. Darkest thing they carried.
Elle: Ooh, Hot Topic IS dark. But dear, what is this dark plan of yours?
DF: Oh. Right. Well see, I am going to find this man..the man who killed my parents.
Elle: Ohh, the darkness! Tell me more!
DF: When I find him, I shall kill him!
Elle: Oh, honey. You are so bad.
DF: I know.
Elle: But how are you going to kill him? You must be a trained dragon red-belt to engage in a fight.
DF: I shall find the Master, Elle. The one that will teach me everything.
Elle: May I come with you? I don't want to be..all-all..ALONE!! ALONE WITH THE DARKNESS!! You can't leave me!! You can't! [Bursts out crying]
DF: Darling, don't be ridiculous. You're not nearly dark enough to accompany me. However, as a parting gift, I give you this.
Elle: A razor? What the hell am I supposed to do with this?
DF: I'm sure you'll figure out. In the mean time, I am off to mid-evil Greece to find the one man that holds the secrets to the dark.
[Scene end]
Act 1: Scene 1
Drunkard: [wobbly] No I can't take it anymore, I'm going to collapse!
TP Fangirl AKA evil girlfriend: [poutingly, holds up another Vodka] Yes you can! Drink up!
Drunkard: [in pain] NOOOOOOO!
[Drunkard collapses]
TpFangirl: [joyfully]: Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! HAHA! ...But now what...Do I have to start boyfriend hunting again? [huffs, disappointedly]
--Scene 2
Darth Futuza: AHA! 'Tis complete None shall be able to stand before me now, at least once I have become a red belt! Muhahaha [laughs for a few minutes pausing for breath before laughing again]
Elle: This truly dark, DF. But what will you do with it.
DF: Open the cave of wonders! [holds garage door opener up triumphantly] Now I must be off my dear, goodbye!
Scene 3
[ The evil master of Red Belts sits in his lair; an abandoned shack in a Laurel Tree field in Mid-evil Greece. Saint Rising is wearing a black unitard and a red belt. Ala is wearing a sexy, black toga.]
Saint Rising: It has been many years since I last received a worthy pupil. Am I right, Ala?
Ala: Yes, master. Our last pupils have abandoned their darkness for this new trend. Christianity; I believe it's called.
SR: Why would they do that?! Then they won't be able to go to hell!
Ala: I believe they wish to go to this new place, it's called heaven.
SR: Bah..what's so great about there?
Ala: Well, I've never been there, sir.
SR: I demand you go and check out this place, immeadietly!
Ala: Um..master. One must die to go to heaven.
SR: I don't really give a damn. Do what I say, wench, or I will front-kick you!
Ala: Amg! Not the front kick! [Pulls out a knife] Hopefully, we shall meet again, sir.
SR: Just go! I need to know what we're up against!
[Lights dim as Ala shoves the knife through her own heart]
[The lights relight. Ala is sitting on the ground, a knife sticking out of her heart..perfectly alive.]
SR: So? How was heaven?
Ala: Um..SR? I didn't go to heaven.
SR: What do you mean?
Ala: Well, I'm still alive, aren't I?
SR: But..but..I just saw you stab yourself in the heart!
Ala: I guess I should've told you, Master.
SR: Told me what?!
Ala: Master, I don't have a heart.
SR: What?! Where did it go?
Ala: I sold it to the devil about a year ago, in exchange for something.
SR: In exchange for what?!
Ala: That, I am afraid, I cannot say.
SR: Ala! I am your master!! Tell me, at once!
Ala: Sorry, sir. I cannot.
[SR glares evilly at Ala. Ala glares back. Their staring is interrupted by a knocking on the door.]
DF: [Knocking] Yoo hoo! Any dark people home?
[SR gets up and opens the door]
SR: Who the heck are you?
DF: I am Darth Futuza; future warrior. I wish to learn the fine art of darkness and red-belt fighting.
SR: Why don't you join Christianity, or whatever else those kids your age are doing?
DF: I wish to kill someone. Christianity does not endorse that.
SR: Well, I suppose you are welcome here.
DF: Thanks, man. [Looks into the shack.] Whoa, totally dark! [Notices Ala] Who's that? She's hot.
SR: She's my..er..assistant.
[Scene switches to TPFG]
TPFG: Hmm..all my boyfriends seem to have a strange reaction to Vodaka. I wonder why this is?
[Enters another leather-wearing, whip-toting girl. She stands confidently]
Pix: I know why.
TPFG: Who are you?
Pix: I am Pix, head seductress of mid-evil Greece.
TPFG: Oh wow! I've always wanted to meet you, you're my hero!
Pix: Now, I am here because I heard you had a problem with seducing men.
TPFG: Yes. They all seem to end up dead.
Pix: This is because you have not yet mastered seduction as I have.
TPFG: Well, what do I do? I really want a guy..a LIVE guy!
Pix: I could tell you.
TPFG: Tell me!
Pix: I can choose to, but for that, you must do something very secret for me.
[Scene fades out]
DF: Assistant? For what, you sneaky devil?.gif)
SR: You pathetic banana, I shall destroy you for that!
DF: SAINT AND ALA, SITTING IN A TREE! Q-A-Z-Z-O-M-G!
SR: AS, destroy him!
AD: YES SIR!
*scene of graphic violence insues, leaving DF tied up at SR's feet, and Ala being slightly sweatier than before*
SR: Now...I can teach you about being evil...
SR, DF, and AD: MUHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
SR: MUAHAHAHA*cough* Haha, *hack* *cough* ha ha...*cough* whew...I need to cut down to a pack a day...but these cigarrettes are so evil!"
DF: Cigars are much more viller in my opinion sir!
SR: Of course they are, you can't go evil gansta without them, but your not here for a gangsta trainin course right?
DF: No, but I was in the russian mafia for 3 weeks, but I got kicked out because I gave the boss a pink birthday cake. Why'd they kick me out? [begins sobbing]
SR: There, there, they only kicked you out because...it was pink you blithering idiot! There, see that was a good example of being evil. No pink, only insults
DF: I see, you moron. I must be learning fast.
SR: [rejoicing] Excellent, you egg brain!
DF: Scally Wag!
SR: **** you!
DF: [horrified] You-you, you used the WORD.
SR: [ashamed] You're right, that was to cruel
Ala: [cying] You hurt my feelings.
SR: Ok nobody uses astericks from here on out, they're much to vicious. Agreed?
Everyone: Aye!
SR: Now, I see that you at least know what exactly evil is. My training course will be intense, rigorous, and involve much child abuse.
DF: I am looking forward to smacking those brats silly!
SR: [shakes head] Firstly, you will not be smacking anyone silly. That is my job. Secondly, in order for you to join my vigorous training program to become one of the dark, you must pledge your loyalty to el Diablo.
DF: Hey! I know what that means! My girlfriend, Elle, is an expert at the spanish language.
SR: Indeed. So, are you ready to accept these conditions, and join my training of the darkness?
Ala: Say yes!
DF: [Winking at Ala] Uh why, yes, ofcourse. Why wouldn't I?
SR: Great. Now, you must say your vow to El Diablo.
DF: [Raises left hand] I, Darth Futuza, do pledge my everlasting loyalty to you, El Diablo.
SR: What kind of pledge is this? You must pledge to El Diablo's true name in order to create a bond with her.
DF: Um..I, Darth Futuza, do pledge my everlasting loyalty to you, Satan.
SR: What kind of joke is this? Satan?
DF: [Turns pale] Isn't..isn't that his name?!
Ala: HIS?! You must be kidding..the devil is a female.
SR: You wish to be dark, yet you do not know the name of the darkest one of all?
DF: Satan! It's Satan.
SR: [angrily] I shall only tell you this once. Try to remember. The name of el diablo is-
Ala: You must bow when he tells you, DF! We all bow at her name.
SR: No more interruptions..she is called-
DF: Wait, how far down must I bow?
Ala: You must bow so your knees nearly touch the ground-
SR: SHUT UP! ARTHRYN! IT'S ARTHRYN! ARTHRYN! ARTHRYN! ARTHRYN! GOT IT?!
DF: Who the heck is-
[A black mist suddenly appears in the center of the room. As the mist subsides; a rather catching blonde woman with steel-toed boots and a smirk is revealed to be standing in the middle of the room]
Arthryn: You called me?
SR: [gasping] Your darkness, it was he! He drove me to it! He made me! GIVE ME PAIN, ARTHRYN!!
Arthryn: Saint Rising, I'm afraid it wouldn't be much of a punishment to give you pain.
SR: [straightens up] Please..Arthryn?! [Giggles] I liked that time with the whip-
Arthryn: Enough.Now, why did you call me? [Glances at DF] And who are you?
DF: Darth Futuza, at your service, ma'am.
Arthryn: [to Ala] Hmm..I like this one. Treat him with much pain for me, will you?
Ala: Yes, of course, Your Darkness.
Arthryn: So you called me from my underground lair for no purpose whatsoever?
SR: Er..yes ma'am.
Arthryn: You shall be accordingly punished. I sentence you to 30 minutes in the sun; effective immeadietly.
SR: [Gulping] Yes, Your Darkness. [Leaves the shack]
Arthryn: [calling out after him] And no sun block![Turns to DF] Now, since I am here, I might as well bring some misery upon you.
DF: Uhm..whatever you wish, Your Darkness.
Arthryn: Your wife Elle, I understand, is at home alone; yes?
DF: Umm..yeah. Why?
Arthryn: I have a present for her, that's all.
DF: A present? But..that's not misery! That's not even dark!
Arthryn: How dare you make assumptions without even hearing out my words?
DF: Well, what is the present?
Arthryn: [laughing] I stole god's gift to women. And made a few adjustments. It should be arriving shortly. [Evil laughter]
[Black mist and scene fades out]
DF: More beer! I need to get rid of this ache, and this box...but forget the last part, beer need more beer!
Mithol: [chuckling silently to herself] Have a CHoakovak, they're new give you quite a kick.
DF: Whatever...all those exercises Ala made me do, stupid Athr-erm...You-Know-Who. I like it when I get to do slaver girl type stuff, but its not fun when your the slave. D*mn, my back hurts! [downs the CHoakovak].
Mithol: [to self] Hehehehe...
DF: ARGHHHH, tis artsy! AGHHHHH, d*mn those christians and their holy water! This ain't CHoakovak! Why the hell do you have Holy Water!?!
Mithol: I is evil, eh?
DF: ARGHHHH! [runs out screaming, wiping tongue, and clutching his "present".
[SR and Ala are..working..when all of a sudden DF bursts into the cabin]
DF: AGH! My tongue!! Holy water!!!!! IT BURNS!
SR: [Jumps up] What the hell are you doing in here? Aren't you supposed to be doing what Ala told you to do?
DF: Er..yes-
SR: Ala, what did you tell him to do?
Ala: Er..I can't seem to recall, actually.
DF: You mean, I've been slaving all day for nothing? And then Arthry-
SR: Do not say her name in vain!!
[Once again, the room fills with black mist. When the mist subsides, guess who is there?]
Arthryn: Hai there, DF. Have you received your present yet?
DF: Holy water? Why in hell's name did you send holy water?
Arthryn: What are you talking about? I didn't send holy water..that must've been god.
DF: [groans] If the holy water wasn't from you, then what WAS?!
Arthryn: Actually, he is more for your..wife. But I figured it would hurt you to meet him.
DF: Why all these presents?! I don't want any presents! Give them to TPFG; it's HER birthday!
Arthryn: [chuckling] She has some coming her way, but that's none of your business.
[Door bell rings]
SR: I wonder who that might be? [Walks over and opens the door.]
SR: OH
Ala: MY
DF: GAWD.
Arthryn: El diablo, at your services. [Bows]
DF: No, not you! Him! [Points at the doorway.]
[In the doorway, there stands an incredibly handsome man. He has a sneaky expression on his face, and is stroking his bare chest; probably to emphasize his sixpack. He is wearing only a speedo, a cape, and a crown.]
Arthryn: Nice of you to finally arrive. Care to introduce yourself to everyone, Rinion?
Rinion: I am Rinion, King of the Trolls!
Ala: [blushing] You don't look like a king of trolls.
Rinion: That's cos' I'm a sex dawl, dah-ling.
DF: This? This is a present for my wife?!
Arthryn: This was originally meant to be god's gift to women. Actually, to one woman in particular.
DF: Who's that??
Arthryn: I'm amazed you haven't heard the story. Hadha, of course. Who else would ask for such a gift?
DF: Um..I dunno who Hadha is.
Arthryn: She is an important Oracle in this part of mid-evil Greece. Everything Hadha predicts; it comes true! Well, that's enough idle talk for me. Rinion, get moving. You have an elle to entertain.
DF: What?! He can't entertain my wife! Not without my permission!
[But Rinion and Arthryn were already gone.]
[Scene end]
DF: Hmph! If my wife gets to cheat on me, then I get to cheat on her! Take that, Ellie! HAHA! But who...but who... [HINT HINT!]
SR: Excellent, your learning pace has accelerated...
DF:...SR, do I have to wear yellow contacts when I go to the dark side, Anakin looked awesome, but as for me...I don't know yellow isn't really my style.
SR: Shut up and put the yellow contacts on, Nao! [vigirously shoves yellow contacts onto DF]
DF: ARGHHH first my mouth, and now my eyes! Why do you hate me so much Go-ermm...fate?
SR: NO! You aren't suppose to get depressed, be angry Nao!
DF: I don't get it, who is Nao?
SR: It means now, pirate scum.
DF: But why is it always capitalized if it isn't a proper noun. Unless your saying its some sort of season?
SR: [in self pity]...Why You-Know-Who? Why me?
Meanwhile...
[Previously...Pix: I can choose to, but for that, you must do something very secret for me.]
TPFG: What? What? Tell me!
Pix: [whispers...something]
TPFG: [Face lights up with gleaming knowing, and she is barely able to refrain from fangirlish like behaviour] Yes! And then you'll tell me?
Pix: [nods]
PREFACE
[DF is wearing a pink spandex cape and pacing back and forth.]
DF: I must know! I must avenge! ARGH!!
Elle: [Enters wearing a drag queen outfit and bunny ears] Hey there, my dark prince. Why so..tense?
DF: I just decided that I wanna avenge my mum and dad's death.
Elle: How are you going to do that, honey? [Gives him a once-over] Sexy oufit, dear.
DF: Thanks. I got it at Hot Topic. Darkest thing they carried.
Elle: Ooh, Hot Topic IS dark. But dear, what is this dark plan of yours?
DF: Oh. Right. Well see, I am going to find this man..the man who killed my parents.
Elle: Ohh, the darkness! Tell me more!
DF: When I find him, I shall kill him!
Elle: Oh, honey. You are so bad.
DF: I know.
Elle: But how are you going to kill him? You must be a trained dragon red-belt to engage in a fight.
DF: I shall find the Master, Elle. The one that will teach me everything.
Elle: May I come with you? I don't want to be..all-all..ALONE!! ALONE WITH THE DARKNESS!! You can't leave me!! You can't! [Bursts out crying]
DF: Darling, don't be ridiculous. You're not nearly dark enough to accompany me. However, as a parting gift, I give you this.
Elle: A razor? What the hell am I supposed to do with this?
DF: I'm sure you'll figure out. In the mean time, I am off to mid-evil Greece to find the one man that holds the secrets to the dark.
[Scene end]
Act 1: Scene 1
Drunkard: [wobbly] No I can't take it anymore, I'm going to collapse!
TP Fangirl AKA evil girlfriend: [poutingly, holds up another Vodka] Yes you can! Drink up!
Drunkard: [in pain] NOOOOOOO!
[Drunkard collapses]
TpFangirl: [joyfully]: Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! HAHA! ...But now what...Do I have to start boyfriend hunting again? [huffs, disappointedly]
--Scene 2
Darth Futuza: AHA! 'Tis complete None shall be able to stand before me now, at least once I have become a red belt! Muhahaha [laughs for a few minutes pausing for breath before laughing again]
Elle: This truly dark, DF. But what will you do with it.
DF: Open the cave of wonders! [holds garage door opener up triumphantly] Now I must be off my dear, goodbye!
Scene 3
[ The evil master of Red Belts sits in his lair; an abandoned shack in a Laurel Tree field in Mid-evil Greece. Saint Rising is wearing a black unitard and a red belt. Ala is wearing a sexy, black toga.]
Saint Rising: It has been many years since I last received a worthy pupil. Am I right, Ala?
Ala: Yes, master. Our last pupils have abandoned their darkness for this new trend. Christianity; I believe it's called.
SR: Why would they do that?! Then they won't be able to go to hell!
Ala: I believe they wish to go to this new place, it's called heaven.
SR: Bah..what's so great about there?
Ala: Well, I've never been there, sir.
SR: I demand you go and check out this place, immeadietly!
Ala: Um..master. One must die to go to heaven.
SR: I don't really give a damn. Do what I say, wench, or I will front-kick you!
Ala: Amg! Not the front kick! [Pulls out a knife] Hopefully, we shall meet again, sir.
SR: Just go! I need to know what we're up against!
[Lights dim as Ala shoves the knife through her own heart]
[The lights relight. Ala is sitting on the ground, a knife sticking out of her heart..perfectly alive.]
SR: So? How was heaven?
Ala: Um..SR? I didn't go to heaven.
SR: What do you mean?
Ala: Well, I'm still alive, aren't I?
SR: But..but..I just saw you stab yourself in the heart!
Ala: I guess I should've told you, Master.
SR: Told me what?!
Ala: Master, I don't have a heart.
SR: What?! Where did it go?
Ala: I sold it to the devil about a year ago, in exchange for something.
SR: In exchange for what?!
Ala: That, I am afraid, I cannot say.
SR: Ala! I am your master!! Tell me, at once!
Ala: Sorry, sir. I cannot.
[SR glares evilly at Ala. Ala glares back. Their staring is interrupted by a knocking on the door.]
DF: [Knocking] Yoo hoo! Any dark people home?
[SR gets up and opens the door]
SR: Who the heck are you?
DF: I am Darth Futuza; future warrior. I wish to learn the fine art of darkness and red-belt fighting.
SR: Why don't you join Christianity, or whatever else those kids your age are doing?
DF: I wish to kill someone. Christianity does not endorse that.
SR: Well, I suppose you are welcome here.
DF: Thanks, man. [Looks into the shack.] Whoa, totally dark! [Notices Ala] Who's that? She's hot.
SR: She's my..er..assistant.
[Scene switches to TPFG]
TPFG: Hmm..all my boyfriends seem to have a strange reaction to Vodaka. I wonder why this is?
[Enters another leather-wearing, whip-toting girl. She stands confidently]
Pix: I know why.
TPFG: Who are you?
Pix: I am Pix, head seductress of mid-evil Greece.
TPFG: Oh wow! I've always wanted to meet you, you're my hero!
Pix: Now, I am here because I heard you had a problem with seducing men.
TPFG: Yes. They all seem to end up dead.
Pix: This is because you have not yet mastered seduction as I have.
TPFG: Well, what do I do? I really want a guy..a LIVE guy!
Pix: I could tell you.
TPFG: Tell me!
Pix: I can choose to, but for that, you must do something very secret for me.
[Scene fades out]
DF: Assistant? For what, you sneaky devil?
SR: You pathetic banana, I shall destroy you for that!
DF: SAINT AND ALA, SITTING IN A TREE! Q-A-Z-Z-O-M-G!
SR: AS, destroy him!
AD: YES SIR!
*scene of graphic violence insues, leaving DF tied up at SR's feet, and Ala being slightly sweatier than before*
SR: Now...I can teach you about being evil...
SR, DF, and AD: MUHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
SR: MUAHAHAHA*cough* Haha, *hack* *cough* ha ha...*cough* whew...I need to cut down to a pack a day...but these cigarrettes are so evil!"
DF: Cigars are much more viller in my opinion sir!
SR: Of course they are, you can't go evil gansta without them, but your not here for a gangsta trainin course right?
DF: No, but I was in the russian mafia for 3 weeks, but I got kicked out because I gave the boss a pink birthday cake. Why'd they kick me out? [begins sobbing]
SR: There, there, they only kicked you out because...it was pink you blithering idiot! There, see that was a good example of being evil. No pink, only insults
DF: I see, you moron. I must be learning fast.
SR: [rejoicing] Excellent, you egg brain!
DF: Scally Wag!
SR: **** you!
DF: [horrified] You-you, you used the WORD.
SR: [ashamed] You're right, that was to cruel
Ala: [cying] You hurt my feelings.
SR: Ok nobody uses astericks from here on out, they're much to vicious. Agreed?
Everyone: Aye!
SR: Now, I see that you at least know what exactly evil is. My training course will be intense, rigorous, and involve much child abuse.
DF: I am looking forward to smacking those brats silly!
SR: [shakes head] Firstly, you will not be smacking anyone silly. That is my job. Secondly, in order for you to join my vigorous training program to become one of the dark, you must pledge your loyalty to el Diablo.
DF: Hey! I know what that means! My girlfriend, Elle, is an expert at the spanish language.
SR: Indeed. So, are you ready to accept these conditions, and join my training of the darkness?
Ala: Say yes!
DF: [Winking at Ala] Uh why, yes, ofcourse. Why wouldn't I?
SR: Great. Now, you must say your vow to El Diablo.
DF: [Raises left hand] I, Darth Futuza, do pledge my everlasting loyalty to you, El Diablo.
SR: What kind of pledge is this? You must pledge to El Diablo's true name in order to create a bond with her.
DF: Um..I, Darth Futuza, do pledge my everlasting loyalty to you, Satan.
SR: What kind of joke is this? Satan?
DF: [Turns pale] Isn't..isn't that his name?!
Ala: HIS?! You must be kidding..the devil is a female.
SR: You wish to be dark, yet you do not know the name of the darkest one of all?
DF: Satan! It's Satan.
SR: [angrily] I shall only tell you this once. Try to remember. The name of el diablo is-
Ala: You must bow when he tells you, DF! We all bow at her name.
SR: No more interruptions..she is called-
DF: Wait, how far down must I bow?
Ala: You must bow so your knees nearly touch the ground-
SR: SHUT UP! ARTHRYN! IT'S ARTHRYN! ARTHRYN! ARTHRYN! ARTHRYN! GOT IT?!
DF: Who the heck is-
[A black mist suddenly appears in the center of the room. As the mist subsides; a rather catching blonde woman with steel-toed boots and a smirk is revealed to be standing in the middle of the room]
Arthryn: You called me?
SR: [gasping] Your darkness, it was he! He drove me to it! He made me! GIVE ME PAIN, ARTHRYN!!
Arthryn: Saint Rising, I'm afraid it wouldn't be much of a punishment to give you pain.
SR: [straightens up] Please..Arthryn?! [Giggles] I liked that time with the whip-
Arthryn: Enough.Now, why did you call me? [Glances at DF] And who are you?
DF: Darth Futuza, at your service, ma'am.
Arthryn: [to Ala] Hmm..I like this one. Treat him with much pain for me, will you?
Ala: Yes, of course, Your Darkness.
Arthryn: So you called me from my underground lair for no purpose whatsoever?
SR: Er..yes ma'am.
Arthryn: You shall be accordingly punished. I sentence you to 30 minutes in the sun; effective immeadietly.
SR: [Gulping] Yes, Your Darkness. [Leaves the shack]
Arthryn: [calling out after him] And no sun block![Turns to DF] Now, since I am here, I might as well bring some misery upon you.
DF: Uhm..whatever you wish, Your Darkness.
Arthryn: Your wife Elle, I understand, is at home alone; yes?
DF: Umm..yeah. Why?
Arthryn: I have a present for her, that's all.
DF: A present? But..that's not misery! That's not even dark!
Arthryn: How dare you make assumptions without even hearing out my words?
DF: Well, what is the present?
Arthryn: [laughing] I stole god's gift to women. And made a few adjustments. It should be arriving shortly. [Evil laughter]
[Black mist and scene fades out]
DF: More beer! I need to get rid of this ache, and this box...but forget the last part, beer need more beer!
Mithol: [chuckling silently to herself] Have a CHoakovak, they're new give you quite a kick.
DF: Whatever...all those exercises Ala made me do, stupid Athr-erm...You-Know-Who. I like it when I get to do slaver girl type stuff, but its not fun when your the slave. D*mn, my back hurts! [downs the CHoakovak].
Mithol: [to self] Hehehehe...
DF: ARGHHHH, tis artsy! AGHHHHH, d*mn those christians and their holy water! This ain't CHoakovak! Why the hell do you have Holy Water!?!
Mithol: I is evil, eh?
DF: ARGHHHH! [runs out screaming, wiping tongue, and clutching his "present".
[SR and Ala are..working..when all of a sudden DF bursts into the cabin]
DF: AGH! My tongue!! Holy water!!!!! IT BURNS!
SR: [Jumps up] What the hell are you doing in here? Aren't you supposed to be doing what Ala told you to do?
DF: Er..yes-
SR: Ala, what did you tell him to do?
Ala: Er..I can't seem to recall, actually.
DF: You mean, I've been slaving all day for nothing? And then Arthry-
SR: Do not say her name in vain!!
[Once again, the room fills with black mist. When the mist subsides, guess who is there?]
Arthryn: Hai there, DF. Have you received your present yet?
DF: Holy water? Why in hell's name did you send holy water?
Arthryn: What are you talking about? I didn't send holy water..that must've been god.
DF: [groans] If the holy water wasn't from you, then what WAS?!
Arthryn: Actually, he is more for your..wife. But I figured it would hurt you to meet him.
DF: Why all these presents?! I don't want any presents! Give them to TPFG; it's HER birthday!
Arthryn: [chuckling] She has some coming her way, but that's none of your business.
[Door bell rings]
SR: I wonder who that might be? [Walks over and opens the door.]
SR: OH
Ala: MY
DF: GAWD.
Arthryn: El diablo, at your services. [Bows]
DF: No, not you! Him! [Points at the doorway.]
[In the doorway, there stands an incredibly handsome man. He has a sneaky expression on his face, and is stroking his bare chest; probably to emphasize his sixpack. He is wearing only a speedo, a cape, and a crown.]
Arthryn: Nice of you to finally arrive. Care to introduce yourself to everyone, Rinion?
Rinion: I am Rinion, King of the Trolls!
Ala: [blushing] You don't look like a king of trolls.
Rinion: That's cos' I'm a sex dawl, dah-ling.
DF: This? This is a present for my wife?!
Arthryn: This was originally meant to be god's gift to women. Actually, to one woman in particular.
DF: Who's that??
Arthryn: I'm amazed you haven't heard the story. Hadha, of course. Who else would ask for such a gift?
DF: Um..I dunno who Hadha is.
Arthryn: She is an important Oracle in this part of mid-evil Greece. Everything Hadha predicts; it comes true! Well, that's enough idle talk for me. Rinion, get moving. You have an elle to entertain.
DF: What?! He can't entertain my wife! Not without my permission!
[But Rinion and Arthryn were already gone.]
[Scene end]
DF: Hmph! If my wife gets to cheat on me, then I get to cheat on her! Take that, Ellie! HAHA! But who...but who... [HINT HINT!]
SR: Excellent, your learning pace has accelerated...
DF:...SR, do I have to wear yellow contacts when I go to the dark side, Anakin looked awesome, but as for me...I don't know yellow isn't really my style.
SR: Shut up and put the yellow contacts on, Nao! [vigirously shoves yellow contacts onto DF]
DF: ARGHHH first my mouth, and now my eyes! Why do you hate me so much Go-ermm...fate?
SR: NO! You aren't suppose to get depressed, be angry Nao!
DF: I don't get it, who is Nao?
SR: It means now, pirate scum.
DF: But why is it always capitalized if it isn't a proper noun. Unless your saying its some sort of season?
SR: [in self pity]...Why You-Know-Who? Why me?
Meanwhile...
[Previously...Pix: I can choose to, but for that, you must do something very secret for me.]
TPFG: What? What? Tell me!
Pix: [whispers...something]
TPFG: [Face lights up with gleaming knowing, and she is barely able to refrain from fangirlish like behaviour] Yes! And then you'll tell me?
Pix: [nods]
--Movie shall hopefully be updated regularly, enjoy the Cliche'dness!
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