[Hobbiton]

I never was much of a poet but I've written this little one to see what the experts think. Sorry, I don't have a name for it yet.

A library filled with dusty
tomes,
An utter silence fills up the
room.

The printed words of a man long
dead,
The musty, old pages being
read.

Between covers, they tell tales of
old,
Books of villains and castles of
gold.

Though not of this world are those
stories,
Of dragon-slayers and their
glories.

Some tell of the stars and of the
moon,
And yet others tell of certain
doom.

While all are different, yet the
same,
Their titles are printed on the
brain.

Through the library's door we must
look,
To find the object, it is a
book!

What do you think then?

This post has been edited by Hobbiton: 14 November 2009 - 02:50 PM

[Kari]

It's... interesting. Seriously. Though if you want hard critic, some verses have very forced meter and at some points, your rhyming has gone off.

As a first try, though, very good! I'd give it an 8/10

[DragonSoul]

I liked it. =]

Keep writing.

[Hobbiton]

Just to make sure (I know it's probably a stupid question) do I post all of my poems in this thread, or just the one? I think it's probably the former, but I just wanted to check.

Interesting? I like interesting. I know, the rhyming wasn't very good. Usually I don't rhyme my poems but I thought I'd give it a try.

[LadyCassy]

if you have more poems to post, post them in this thread. that way people know where to find them

[Hobbiton]

if you have more poems to post, post them in this thread. that way people know where to find them

Thankies =D

Here's another one. Just to let you know I didn't choose the writing style . . .
Loneliness
Loneliness is when someone should be there,
But they're not.
It feels like a space in your soul
Where somebody should be.
Loneliness smells like smoke
From the burning of precious things.
It tastes like ash,
Bitter and wrong.
Loneliness looks like a deserted library,
Empty and silent.
It sounds like the howl of a wolf
Seperated from its pack.
Loneliness makes me feel isolated.

Really quite rubbish if you ask me. I hate it but we didn't get to choose what to write a poem about.

[Hobbiton]

Wow, first poem in a while:

Onwards, onwards
Through brook, through burn,
Ever onwards
Round twist and turn.
Keep on travelling
With heavy load,
Ever onwards
Down dusty road.
I stop for no one,
Walk down street
Incessant tramping
Of heavy feet.
Onwards, onwards,
What will I find?
I do not stop,
Till home's behind.
Onwards.

This post has been edited by Hobbiton: 16 November 2009 - 10:37 AM

[Hobbiton]

I'm in a poetic mood, so here's another:

The laughter echoes
Unbearably,
Reminder of a better time.
No worries, no shadows
In corners.
It doesn't stop,
Why won't it stop?
It tears me apart
Mercilessly.
Like faded photographs
In a dream.
Or a dream of a dream
That's lost.
I can't remember now.
Why can't I remember?
The darkness draws in closer.
Like a shroud, hiding me away.
Just worry, just shadows
All around.
It doesn't stop.
Why won't it stop?