IF Harry Potter C 0
#1
Posted 25 July 2008 - 01:12 AM
Hadha and Gonff, of number sixty-nine, Privates Drive, were very proud to say that they were perfectly normal. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.
Gonff was a biology teacher at the local high school, which made perfectly molded mini-capitalists. He was a thin, bony man with a horribly long and wrinkly neck, although he did have a small, spiky goatee sprouting out of his cleft chin. Hadha was muscular and brunette and had nearly twice the usual amount of menstrual fluid, which came in very useful as she had made a career of filling up her neighbors’ swimming pools in the case of an unexpected drought. Mr. and Mrs. Gonff had a small son called GaaraDude and in their opinion there was no prettier boy anywhere. Life should’ve been excellent for the Gonffs, they had everything they could ever want and had recently installed a new, red carpet so that no unsightly spots would show.
But life was not excellent for the Gonffs. The Gonffs had a horrible, terrible, dark secret, and it was their greatest fear that someone would discover it. They didn’t think they could bear it if someone found out about the Spinners. Mrs. Rinion Spinner was Hadha’s younger sister, but they hadn’t seen each other for quite a long time, not since the time that Hadha left a scarlett spot on her sister’s new, white sequined skirt. It was then that an unforeseen series of events that took place that left Hadha hanging upside down from the Big Ben; causing the parade that was scheduled for that day to be shut down to unexpected showers. No, the Spinners were definitely as far from Gonffish as it was possible to be. The Gonffs knew that the Spinners had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another reason for keeping the Spinners away; they didn’t want GaaraDude mixing with a child like that- with parents like that.
When Mr. and Mrs. Gonff woke up on that Sunday morning, they went to work right away.
“I’ve got at least twenty minutes before the brats actually show up at the door, I figure it’ll be quick enough for a soap job,” mumbled Gonff while untangling his long, Rastafarian braids from around his neck. Hadha groaned,
“Why the shower, honey? We’ve done it there for the past six days.”
“That’s because you’ve been on your period for the past six days.”
“We could do it on the carpet.”
“Good idea. But let me check on GaaraDude first, to make sure that he’s asleep.” Gonff crept down the hallway, pausing at the door on the right. He put his hand around the knob, slowly twisting open the door.
“AAGH!” cried Gonff, throwing his hands over his eyes as a bright, white flash filled the room. As the light subsided, GaaraDude came into vision. He was standing on a footstool in front of his bathroom mirror, a camera in his hands.
“Daddy! I take picture! I is pretty, is I?”
Gonff beamed down at his son.
“Yes, my GaaraDudkins, you are the prettiest, rosiest boy in the whole entire world and you make your mom and I so proud.” As Gonff turned around and headed back up the hallway, and GaaraDude turned back to his mirror, none of them noticed the faint, blue blur of a dragon fluttering past the window.
Gonff was a biology teacher at the local high school, which made perfectly molded mini-capitalists. He was a thin, bony man with a horribly long and wrinkly neck, although he did have a small, spiky goatee sprouting out of his cleft chin. Hadha was muscular and brunette and had nearly twice the usual amount of menstrual fluid, which came in very useful as she had made a career of filling up her neighbors’ swimming pools in the case of an unexpected drought. Mr. and Mrs. Gonff had a small son called GaaraDude and in their opinion there was no prettier boy anywhere. Life should’ve been excellent for the Gonffs, they had everything they could ever want and had recently installed a new, red carpet so that no unsightly spots would show.
But life was not excellent for the Gonffs. The Gonffs had a horrible, terrible, dark secret, and it was their greatest fear that someone would discover it. They didn’t think they could bear it if someone found out about the Spinners. Mrs. Rinion Spinner was Hadha’s younger sister, but they hadn’t seen each other for quite a long time, not since the time that Hadha left a scarlett spot on her sister’s new, white sequined skirt. It was then that an unforeseen series of events that took place that left Hadha hanging upside down from the Big Ben; causing the parade that was scheduled for that day to be shut down to unexpected showers. No, the Spinners were definitely as far from Gonffish as it was possible to be. The Gonffs knew that the Spinners had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another reason for keeping the Spinners away; they didn’t want GaaraDude mixing with a child like that- with parents like that.
When Mr. and Mrs. Gonff woke up on that Sunday morning, they went to work right away.
“I’ve got at least twenty minutes before the brats actually show up at the door, I figure it’ll be quick enough for a soap job,” mumbled Gonff while untangling his long, Rastafarian braids from around his neck. Hadha groaned,
“Why the shower, honey? We’ve done it there for the past six days.”
“That’s because you’ve been on your period for the past six days.”
“We could do it on the carpet.”
“Good idea. But let me check on GaaraDude first, to make sure that he’s asleep.” Gonff crept down the hallway, pausing at the door on the right. He put his hand around the knob, slowly twisting open the door.
“AAGH!” cried Gonff, throwing his hands over his eyes as a bright, white flash filled the room. As the light subsided, GaaraDude came into vision. He was standing on a footstool in front of his bathroom mirror, a camera in his hands.
“Daddy! I take picture! I is pretty, is I?”
Gonff beamed down at his son.
“Yes, my GaaraDudkins, you are the prettiest, rosiest boy in the whole entire world and you make your mom and I so proud.” As Gonff turned around and headed back up the hallway, and GaaraDude turned back to his mirror, none of them noticed the faint, blue blur of a dragon fluttering past the window.
#8
Posted 25 July 2008 - 06:54 PM
May I please be, like, Hrmione, but I know you won't let me be her, because you probably have something else planned, so may I at lerast be Ginny? (Or maybe if you're planning to do all seven spinoffs, could I be Luna in the fifth, sixth, and seventh? I LURV Luna!)
Jareth/Sarah 'shipper.
Labyrinth is the.
Coolest.
Movie.
Ever.
#13
Posted 25 July 2008 - 07:51 PM
QUOTE (Gramayre Ebrthil @ Jul 25 2008, 05:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, Nargals, I actually liked Luna too, She's pretty in the movie 
OMG! Seriously.

"If you pretend to feel a certain way, the feeling can become genuine all by accident". -Hei

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