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IF Narnia:
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#1
BartimaeusTrilogyFan 
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:44 PM
Kay, bucket. Have fun!
MultiQuote
#2
bucket
- Raven Shadow Darkencroft
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:45 PM
Thank ye, BTF!
Chapter One
Once there were four children named Demon Lord, Allera, Dumbledare, and BTF. This is a story about something that happened to them when they were sent to a drug rehab after taking drugs. They were sent to a clinic owned by a mad professor named Mr. Sogemplow who lived in the heart of the industrial park, ten seconds away from the nearest strip club and a hundred miles away from the nearest police station. He was a very young man, had no friends, and owned a very large rehabilitation center. He also had a few bodyguards, the chief of which was named Bloodwake, who hated children and made it her personal ambition to see that every child in the world suffered a gruesome death. He himself was an ugly young man who had a wart directly on his nose and no hair, which was odd, seeing as he was only twenty years old. The four children hated him almost at once, but on the first evening he came to their cell to yell at them he looked so ugly that BTF (who was the smartest) was instantly revolted, and dumbledare, (who was semi-retarded) wanted to laugh at him, and openly did so. He was then promptly whacked on the head with baseball bat.
As soon as Sogemplow had finished yelling at him Demonlord turned to the others to discuss their fate.
“I’m bored,” he said.
BTF rolled her eyes. “Oh, thanks for telling us.”
“I thought he was a nice old man.” Said Allera.
“Yeah, about as nice as my Aunt maggie’s boobs.” Said Dumbldare laughing.
“I’m bored.” Said Demonlord.
“You said that already,” said Allera.
Demon lord shrugged. “Well, I am.”
They all sat there for a few more minutes, when suddenly they heard a bloodcurdling scream.
Dumbldare jumped up. “What was that?”
“Some guy screaming.” Said Allera in bored voice.
“Well I know that,” said Dumbldare rolling his eyes.
“Shut up both of you or you’ll both be screaming.” Snapped BTF.
Dumbldare and Allera shut up and sat on the bed.
“Well, what are we going to do tomorrow? Asked Demon lord.
“Dumbldare shrugged. “I dunno. There’s a strip club down the street.”
“You are NOT going there,” said BTF feircly.
Dumbldare went over and sulked in corner.
They all sat around for another few minutes, wishing they had some drugs.
Demonlord yawned. “Well, I’m still bored.” He stood up. “I’m going to bed.”
And with that he opened the door and and walked down the hall to the dormitory.
BTF stared at him for a minute, then got up and walked toward the door. Everyone else followed suit, and they all walked down the hall to the dormitories and all had a terrible night’s sleep.
Chapter One
Once there were four children named Demon Lord, Allera, Dumbledare, and BTF. This is a story about something that happened to them when they were sent to a drug rehab after taking drugs. They were sent to a clinic owned by a mad professor named Mr. Sogemplow who lived in the heart of the industrial park, ten seconds away from the nearest strip club and a hundred miles away from the nearest police station. He was a very young man, had no friends, and owned a very large rehabilitation center. He also had a few bodyguards, the chief of which was named Bloodwake, who hated children and made it her personal ambition to see that every child in the world suffered a gruesome death. He himself was an ugly young man who had a wart directly on his nose and no hair, which was odd, seeing as he was only twenty years old. The four children hated him almost at once, but on the first evening he came to their cell to yell at them he looked so ugly that BTF (who was the smartest) was instantly revolted, and dumbledare, (who was semi-retarded) wanted to laugh at him, and openly did so. He was then promptly whacked on the head with baseball bat.
As soon as Sogemplow had finished yelling at him Demonlord turned to the others to discuss their fate.
“I’m bored,” he said.
BTF rolled her eyes. “Oh, thanks for telling us.”
“I thought he was a nice old man.” Said Allera.
“Yeah, about as nice as my Aunt maggie’s boobs.” Said Dumbldare laughing.
“I’m bored.” Said Demonlord.
“You said that already,” said Allera.
Demon lord shrugged. “Well, I am.”
They all sat there for a few more minutes, when suddenly they heard a bloodcurdling scream.
Dumbldare jumped up. “What was that?”
“Some guy screaming.” Said Allera in bored voice.
“Well I know that,” said Dumbldare rolling his eyes.
“Shut up both of you or you’ll both be screaming.” Snapped BTF.
Dumbldare and Allera shut up and sat on the bed.
“Well, what are we going to do tomorrow? Asked Demon lord.
“Dumbldare shrugged. “I dunno. There’s a strip club down the street.”
“You are NOT going there,” said BTF feircly.
Dumbldare went over and sulked in corner.
They all sat around for another few minutes, wishing they had some drugs.
Demonlord yawned. “Well, I’m still bored.” He stood up. “I’m going to bed.”
And with that he opened the door and and walked down the hall to the dormitory.
BTF stared at him for a minute, then got up and walked toward the door. Everyone else followed suit, and they all walked down the hall to the dormitories and all had a terrible night’s sleep.
"If you pretend to feel a certain way, the feeling can become genuine all by accident". -Hei
#4
BartimaeusTrilogyFan
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:50 PM
QUOTE
“Shut up both of you or you’ll both be screaming.” Snapped BTF.
BEST LINE EVAR.
This post has been edited by BartimaeusTrilogyFan: 05 August 2008 - 07:51 PM
#5
NiduenDrottning
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:51 PM
Hahahahahahahahaha.... 
Yeah that gave me courage to stay up... When is the rest coming?
Yeah that gave me courage to stay up... When is the rest coming?
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
--Edgar Allan Poe
Check out my still untitled and "under construction" story here. I could use some advice.
#6
bucket
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:52 PM
QUOTE (BartimaeusTrilogyFan @ Aug 5 2008, 05:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE
“Shut up both of you or you’ll both be screaming.” Snapped BTF.
BEST LINE EVAR.
I knew you'd like that one.
"If you pretend to feel a certain way, the feeling can become genuine all by accident". -Hei
#7
BartimaeusTrilogyFan
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:54 PM
QUOTE (NiduenDrottning @ Aug 5 2008, 08:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hahahahahahahahaha....
Yeah that gave me courage to stay up... When is the rest coming?
Yeah that gave me courage to stay up... When is the rest coming?
I haz the same question.
#9
Katya
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:55 PM
Dude, this is hilarious. I like how you managed to turn the dry-ish beginning of that book into a comedy.
"They all sat around for another few minutes, wishing they had some drugs."
Love it XD
"They all sat around for another few minutes, wishing they had some drugs."
Love it XD
.gif)
#11
BartimaeusTrilogyFan
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:57 PM
#12
bucket
- Raven Shadow Darkencroft
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:58 PM
QUOTE (BartimaeusTrilogyFan @ Aug 5 2008, 05:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah....gotta wait for some more inspiration.
.gif)
"If you pretend to feel a certain way, the feeling can become genuine all by accident". -Hei
#13
BartimaeusTrilogyFan
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:59 PM
*SIGH* Fine. 
I gotta go bug CuLDud, anyways.
I gotta go bug CuLDud, anyways.
#14
Demon Lord
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 08:31 PM
Ok I am not that bored Bucket but not bad. I give you 95/100 for it needs a bit of work, also you should ask BTF to put a C-leve on it.
Mayhem Festival July 17 In Pheonix
#15
bucket
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Posted 05 August 2008 - 08:32 PM
QUOTE (Demon Lord @ Aug 5 2008, 06:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok I am not that bored Bucket but not bad. I give you 95/100 for it needs a bit of work, also you should ask BTF to put a C-leve on it.
Oh, lighten up a bit.
"If you pretend to feel a certain way, the feeling can become genuine all by accident". -Hei