[Ganashi]

For the sake of comical portrayment, I have portrayed colonel Sanders as incredibly senile even in his fifties.

INT. KFC OFFICE AFTERNOON: (The office contained six men and two women at a large round table. They are in a heated discussion.)

Title under: 1953

Ron Dirshem

Alright gang, we need to find a creative way to sell our product.
It isn't going to be easy, but god damnit we need to sell some chicken.

(A man in the corner raises his hand.)

Ron Dirshem (cont.)


Yes Paul, what ya got?


Paul Santon

Well I was thinking.... (all eyes looking at Paul), we could put it in a box!

(Everyone in the room is silent for a few moments)


Ron Dirshem

Wow Paul are you fucking serious with this?
I would of expected this from someone working for Mc Donalds
But not a respected employee of the Kentucky Fried Chicken
franchise. I'm so sick of you. I just want you to know i've been
fucking your wife! Alright anyone else got an idea?

(Everyone in the room stays uncomfortably quiet, until one woman raises her hand.)


Julie O'Connor

Um... well I was thinking we could make a little tote bag for it
kind of like a purse except paper.

(Ron looks at her with a look that says 'are you serious')


Ron Dirshem

Are you serious Julie? I mean when I hired you from that strip club what
was it? Shooters? Booters? Cooters?




Julie O'Connor

I believe you mean Hooters, where I was eating lunch with other workers
from Skippy Peanut Butter marketing.


Ron Dirshem

Yeah that is it Hooters! I never thought you'd be such a useless prostitute
but that is what I get. You know what Julie you should just go. Cause
i'm pretty sure i'm so upset right now i'd probably end up raping you.


(Jenie gets up and leaves the room frustrated. As she opens the door COLONEL SANDERS, enters yelling a storm.)


Ron Dirshem

Oh good damnit who let the Sanders in here?


Colonel Sanders

Hey Ron, what's going on here. I didn't get an invite, what's up with that?

Ron Dirshem

Maybe it was because you weren't invited, we bought your shares remember?


Colonel Sanders

Oh that was probably cause I was drunk. Hell Ron, i'm drunker then F. Scotts Fitzgerald on a good day.


Ron Dirshem

Oh my good you smell of piss what the hell? Your crotch is yellow on your suit.



Colonel Sanders

Well you know me Ronnie I just go with the flow. Hey what are you guys doing in here anyway, aren't you supposed to be making my birthday cake?


Ron Dirshem

What birthday cake? No we are discussing the packaging for the chicken.

Colonel Sanders

Well why don't you put it in a pail? Hell after I throw up in a pail I wish I had some chicken.


Ron Dirshem

Your out of your.... Wait... A bucket, why don't we put the chicken in a bucket.

(A smile comes across Ron's face as it turns into a black and white photo. Colonel Sanders sat in a chair drinking scotch from a bottle.)



Colonel Sanders

And that is how they stole another one of my ideas.


End.


Well that was weird hope you guys like it.

This post has been edited by Ganashi: 26 October 2008 - 04:24 PM

[E.B]

...

I think that's quite possibly the most random thing I've ever read. EVER.

...

You win the randomness award! Congrats....



Any serious writings on the way?

[Ganashi]

...

I think that's quite possibly the most random thing I've ever read. EVER.

...

You win the randomness award! Congrats....



Any serious writings on the way?

Yes i'm rewriting Destructive Melody and am continuing to write The Last Fireman with plans to rewrite Ganashi soon. Thanks for the post EBay.

[Pixel]

This needs a C-level Ganashi, please put one in or I'll have to close it.

There were a few laughs in there, but I think when Colonel Sanders walks in, it's not too funny. I think that's what you were aiming for, if I'm correct. Yet still, I like how they went through the whole process of trying to figure out what to put the chicken in.

Oh, and my favorite line was everything Ron Dirshem said in his first line. That was pretty funny.

[Loki84]

Your story was out there ... but in a very funny original way, can we hope to hear from the colonel????

[Alexander]

Oh good damnit who let the Sanders in here?

Haha. Very funny. nice work .