1. JACOB[/size]It was destiny - I had no choice in the matterI was picked to be his before I was even bornHe was picked to be mine before he even knewSo why did it feel so wrong?My parents had explained to me what imprinting was. I understood that Jacob had no choice and that he was mine forever. Although I technically had a choice, it was hard to choose anyone other than Jacob. He was destined for me and because of the imprinting; his whole being was about making me happy. It was about being the best Jacob he could be for me. Whatever I needed, he became. He was my teacher, mentor, best friend, bodyguard…and soul mate. Even though it made perfect logical sense, I just felt like I deserved at least some choice.Was I not allowed to choose? Did fate hold its grasp on my life and I was merely a puppet with strings? I could choose to drink blood or eat human food. I could choose to drive to see Grandpa Charlie or run. I could choose to sleep outside or in my warm bed. Those were the small choices. But the big ones, were those already decided for me?I realize some choices are made for me. Where I go to school, what state I live in, and even what I am: a half-human half-vampire hybrid. Those I understood, they were still choices but made by my parents. I may or may not have some input into the matter. But love? Eternity? Shouldn't I have some say in those? Shouldn't love be my choice?Don't get me wrong, Jacob is great. I can't think of someone I would rather be with. Every boy I meet I compare to Jacob or my Dad; and for that matter, Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper also. I'm not complaining at all about who was picked by fate to be mine. Definitely not. Kudos to fate. It's just that I would've wanted to pick Jacob on my own. I kind of feel cheated from the whole experience. Meet a guy, date him for a little while, meet his parents, fall in love, get married, and have babies. Shudder.Ok, let's not think about babies yet. Who even knows if I can have kids? To my knowledge, I am the only female of my kind. Ok - truth - there are others like me. A couple. But I don't know much about them. They live down in South America. I haven't seen them since I was a baby. This in all honestly was only a couple years ago. My…uniqueness…includes rapid aging until I am seven years old. Then I will reach my physical maturity. I'll technically be an adult. Living on my own. Free to experience the world and all the dangers and thrills it has to offer. And that brings me back to choice. Could I choose to leave and experience it all or would my love for Jacob keep me in Forks, Washington?I could choose to leave, sure. I know I could. Saying I have no choice and that fate forced this upon me is a lie. No, not exactly a lie. This was forced upon me. But at any time I can play the "Screw you fate" card and leave. But then I would have to deal with the agonizing pain of a broken heart and I've seen what that can do to you. Well not exactly seen, but my mother has told me enough about it. When my Dad left her for months because he thought it was safer for her. That was when she met my Jacob. Well, she knew him before hand, but she re-met him.Suddenly a bell rang interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at the clock and class had escaped my attention. I was way smarter than this entire school. It was hard to ignore it. My first day of school was agonizingly boring. I was finally old enough to go to a real school with real kids and my excitement was burst like a dam holding back a lake crashing down on the town below. Being so close to seven, my aging had been slowed to a rate that anymore changes would just seem like a growth spurt. I looked about sixteen maybe seventeen. I could easily pass for eighteen if I tried.The cover story was that Carlisle and Emse, my grandparents, had adopted another girl to join their family: me. I, of course, am not adopted. I am their adopted son's daughter. I had been homeschooled until I was sixteen; which was partially true except I had only been homeschooled until I was six and three quarters."Renesmee," the teacher called.Damn, I drifted into thought again. All the other students were gone. "Yes?" I asked."Is there something I can do for you? Do you understand the homework? Do you need me to show you out to the parking lot?"No. Yes. No. Well actually I change my mind. The answer to the first question is yes. You can do something for me. You can leave me alone! Second, yes I understand the homework. Even in the painful torture of sitting through this class and not paying attention, my ears and perfect memory recorded every brutal second of it. Thank you very much. And no, I know exactly where the parking lot is. If I wished, I could walk in a perfectly straight line to it and just knock down every wall from here to there.This was going to be a long school year. "No thank you, Mrs. Trumbel. I think I can find my way out," I said cordially. No need to tick her off the first day. I could save that for later when I show her I know every answer to every question she ever has. I'll prove to her how much smarter I am than she is. Sure she can wave her fancy degree in my face. I'll laugh and shred it to pieces. Degrees. Just give me a few decades and I'll major in every field known to man. I'll make Albert Einstein look like a 2 year old.Damnit. Mom warned me about this. I'm being smug. Rude even. So what if Mrs. Trumbel couldn't hear me. I needed to have respect for humans. It isn't their fault they are so inferior. No, not inferior, just different. Humans had some advantage that vampire's didn't. I guess I gained the best of both worlds. But could I really call humans inferior and not say the same about vampires? I truly was superior to both species. Yet I couldn't let that get to me. I had to remind myself…oh wait..I stood up, gathered my books, and headed for the door. Remember was the key here. I had to remember to be human as much as possible. Standing-or sitting-still for too long made me look too much like a vampire. Or at least not human. I turned left down the hallway and proceeded for the locker. I had only glimpsed at the combo on the piece of paper I got from the receptionist in the office when she handed me my class schedule. I had thrown it away. It didn't matter; my combo was safely stored somewhere in my vast database of trivial knowledge. I could go on jeopardy and win some big money. Not that I needed it, my family was rich.I reached my locker. 34 to the left, 17 to the right, 40 to the left again, and BAM unlocked. I tugged but it didn't come open. I spun the dial again. 34 to the left, 17 to the right, 40 to the left again. Nothing. Did I have the right locker? I looked up at the number and it was correct: B57. I could break the lock, but it really wasn't worth it. I tried my combo again. 34 to the left, 17 to the right, 40 to the left. Damnit! Nothing. I fought the urge to pound my locker into a ball and hurl it across the hallway.Jacob laughed behind me and I could sense a hint of mischievousness."What did you do?" I demanded. My voice was as hard and angry as it's angelic sound could muster.He gave me that Jacob-smile that neither my mother nor I could resist. Damn. "Aww c'mon, Nessie. It's just a lil joke, don't get upset." He stuck his tongue out at me.Pfft. A joke. "What did you do?" I demanded again."I called your Dad. He drove by, read your mind, and told me your combo. I changed it. C'mon, that's funny. You shoulda seen your face when your perfect bloodsucker memory couldn't remember.""Shh, Jacob.""Oh, right. Oops." Jacob was less concerned with being discovered as I was. He isn't a bloodsucking half-vampire like me but he has a secret of his own. My Jacob is a werewolf. Or shape-shifter, whatever you want to call it. He was the alpha of his pack, their leader. So what if his secret came out, who would be upset? Billy? But if my secret got out, I would be in violation of the vampire laws and I would be sentenced to death by the Volturi family; the vampire royal family. The vampire police."What are you doing here anyway?""I came to pick you up from your first day of school. How'd it go?""Fine." That was a lie. It was not fine, I was bored out of my mind."You alright?"Ugh. Quit asking. Damnit, Jacob didn't deserve this from me either. I loved him. Surely no matter the boringness of my day, I could treat him as such. "I'm alright. It was a boring day. How was your first day without me?""Torture. I wanted to stand outside the window of every class so I could see you. But I felt that would be too stalker-ish."I laughed. Jacob was so funny and not embarrassed to express his feelings. To anyone else, he would have seemed a little weird, but that is what I loved the most about him. He was so passionate about me that I could forgive anything weird about him."You want to go get an ice cream?" he suggested as he entered my new combo into the lock. I watched the lock, picking up each number he stopped on. The locker swung open.Human food. Definitely not my favorite, but I could eat it. I smiled and reached for his overgrown hand. "Sure, let's go." He grabbed my books from my other hand and shoved them in the locker. Then he slammed it closed."The new dairy queen?" he suggested."Where else would we go?""I don't know, we could go out of town. Maybe to…""Jacob," I interrupted. "You know my mom forbids me to leave Forks or La Push." Another choice that wasn't mine to make. If it was mine, I would follow Jacob anywhere. If it was my choice, I'd marry Jacob tonight and we'd escape to a remote island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Not that I wanted to leave my family, just that I loved Jacob so much.I guess that answers my question about choice though. If I had the choice, I'd still be with Jacob. Then again, was I saying that because the lack of choice has wound my life in a direction that I could only be with Jacob or was I saying it because even if Jacob didn't become everything I needed, he would still be everything I needed? I guess I could never know.Jacob sensed my deep thought, I could tell when he looked at me, but he didn't say a word. It was a bad idea for him to interrupt my thoughts. Especially when he was holding my hand. If I wanted him to know, I would show him. I could tell he wanted to know though. His eyes were trying to pierce my thoughts and dig deep into my psyche excavating all relevant information. Well too bad you're not my Dad, Jacob.My Dad is a gifted vampire. It's impossible to keep a secret from him, unless my mom was in on it. My Dad has the ability to read minds and my mom has the ability to shield me from him. If I ever needed to keep a secret from him, I had to fess up to her. And then he would know I had a secret anyway and eventually he'd find out. So my family was pretty honest and open. Embarrassment could not be a factor. If I really thought about the things that my Dad knew I thought about Jacob, I would die. I would light a fire and crawl on top of it and burn.Luckily he has learned to keep his snickering to himself. So I blissfully ignore the truth: he does know. As long as Jacob didn't know. I shot Jacob a quick picture of me kissing him as he opened the door to his car. Just a little something to calm his nerves. I sat down and he closed the door behind me. He still drove the rabbit even though my Dad offered to buy him any car he wanted. All he had to do was point and choose."Hey Jake, long time no see," said a girl's voice. I immediately spun in my seat. There, a little stupid teen girl with a little skirt was flirting with my Jacob. I half-considered leaping out of his car and breaking her neck. I could do it; I was stronger than any human. I could crush her just as easily as she could crush a fly. And what is up with that skirt. Not that it bothers me, but it's cold in forks; for a human."Hey Carla," Jacob said. I watched him walk past her without hesitation. Good. Although I knew he would do it anyway. He was imprinted to me. That means that other girls don't hold any attraction to him. But she was trying. She immediately stepped around and in front of him. Is she blind? Can she not see me sitting right here?"So, uhh, it's been awhile. We haven't seen you around much. Now that we moved to Forks from La Push, I never get to see you anymore." Moved to Forks from La Push? Is this her? Really? Could it be? It is. Carla. I should have known. It didn't click at first, but Carla used to play with me and Jacob when she was eight. She wanted to babysit me, but that was not going to happen. Number one, she was eight. Number two, I was a bloodsucking half-vampire with incredible super-human speed and strength. Now she is fifteen, she looks so different."Yeah well, I've been busy?" It sounded like a question but I wasn't sure. He wasn't very convincing, in my opinion."Ohh, yeah, right. Always at the Cullen residence. You need to get out more Jake. Who is your friend?" She looked in the window and waved at me.Jacob choked. What could he say? Well Carla, this is that little infant girl you used to play with when you were eight and she looked three. Now she looked even older than you. Yeah right. She'd probably slap him at how absurd that sounds. Just the thought nearly made me chuckle."She is uhh, well. Carlisle just adopted her. Her name is Renesmee." I shuddered when he told her the truth. Maybe he was betting on her only knowing me as Nessie. It was the name everyone called me. Luckily she didn't question it. I watched her shrug."Well, I'd really like to see you around some. I really miss you. I haven't seen any of my friends from La Push for awhile now. But you're so close, you're here in Forks every day. Come see me.""Uhh, I don't think so. I'm busy…a lot.""At the Cullens. Doing what?""Stuff.""Whatever, Jake. I just wanted to hang out. Go ahead and be a jerk." She walked past him, trying to bump into his arm to reinforce her anger, but all it did was make her bounce off Jacob's rock solid body. She nearly fell over. I laughed from inside the car and she heard me. She stomped away.Jacob pulled open the driver door and slide inside. "Girls," he said."Uhh, right here!" I said."You're not like those girls, Ness. You're different.""In so many ways," I shrugged. Sometimes I'd like to just be normal. Not be special. Even by vampire standards I am special. Even by special vampire standards I am special.2. NEWBORN[size="3"]After ice cream, Jacob drove me back to my home. Except it was not my home, it was Carlisle's. I was living with my grandpa Carlisle while my mom went through her year as a newborn. Everyone thought it would never happen. She was too in control; until a hunting trip gone wrong. I was thirsty and needed to hunt, she volunteered to accompany me. When we hunt, we act purely on instinct. So when my mother was stalking a mountain lion, she suddenly picked up a human scent. She was on the poor hunter before her rational mind realized it. There was nothing the I could do to stop her, I wasn't expecting it.That was the catalyst that broke my mother. The taste of human blood destroyed her self control. Now she and Edward were locked up in the little cottage that I called home, until recently. My mother couldn't home school me anymore which is why I was sent to public school. Even though I was half vampire, I still smelled a little human. The beating of my heart and my blood make me irresistible in her current state. Every so often I got to see her, usually right after she hunts and she is feeling most in control. Luckily, her newborn strength had worn off in the first year as expected. So she had a newborn's thirst without the strength. Uncle Jasper was delighted. She was easier to control than his other newborns. No one else felt that delight would be the best emotion.Today was one of the days I got to see her. It only happens every few weeks or so and only for a few minutes. Just long enough for each of us to say we love each other. I couldn't even touch her. It is particularly hard for me not to be able to touch her because I share my strongest emotions through touch. How could I not touch one of the people I have the strongest emotions about? We were only a few months into this violent raging thirst and already I felt a hole in my chest where my heart should be. I missed her. I really miss her. She is my rock, my support; my source on everything there is to be human.Jacob grasped my hand as he parked the car in front of Carlisle's house. "Wait here," I said. I ran to the front door and dropped my school bags close inside. I ran back to the car where Jacob stood waiting. "Ready?" I asked."I hate letting you see her. She's not well.""Letting me? It's my choice. You can come along and watch, but that's it.""Ok ok, sorry. Let's go."We began to job toward the cottage. I couldn't run nearly as fast as Jacob. Although I was much stronger and faster than a human, I was still held back by my beating heart. I got exhausted quickly when I ran with all my speed. I was limited to short sprints. Jacob didn't mind though. He smiled and held my hand the entire way. It only took about ten minutes to find the cottage hidden in the trees. My Dad stood outside, waiting."Nessie," he waved with a smile."Hi Daddy." I could hear the sound of three voices inside: Mom, Jasper, and Emmett. Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were probably here to keep me safe. They were the best uncles anyone could ask for. Uncle Emmett was more like my big brother than an uncle. He and Aunt Rosalie helped me do all the things I wasn't allowed to do. If I wanted to go to Seattle or Olympia, they would take me. And Uncle Jasper was my teacher in all things vampire. He taught me to fight, to hunt, and how to make the most use of my extra sensory abilities."Nessie," his smile began to fade a little. "Today isn't a good day. The hunt didn't go so well.""Daddy, I am seeing mom today. She won't hurt me.""I knew you would feel that way. Jacob," he smiled."Ed," Jacob replied."Are you going to keep my baby safe?""Dad!""Sure, sure," he said in his usual laid back voice. Although he seemed nonchalant about it, I knew every muscle in Jacob's body told him I shouldn't be here. He couldn't resist what I wanted though."Ok," he said with a sigh. "Just be careful and keep your distance.""I know, Dad."My dad took the lead through the door followed by Jacob. I followed closely behind Jacob, clinging to his back. Jacob nearly had nothing to fear from my mom. The smell of werewolves was revolting to vampires. It was my blood she wanted. To my advantage though, I smelled very similar to vampires too, so it was easier for her to control herself. Grandpa Charlie was not allowed to visit her at all.We've developed a system with Grandpa Charlie. If it was something he didn't want to know, it was classified confidential. If it was something he shouldn't know then it was classified secret. If it was something he shouldn't know, didn't want to know, and should just stay clear off, it was classified top secret. My mom's current state was top secret and Grandpa Charlie wasn't going to be able to see her for a year. He was upset about it, but he complied.Jasper and Emmett stood beside Bella with their hands on her shoulders. Her eyes were blood red and her nails dug into the sofa. I haven't seen her eyes that red since I was born. I could tell she was happy to see me because she smiled at me, but it was difficult for her."Hey Nessie," she said in a calm voice. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know how rough it was to keep a steady voice."Hi Momma, how are you feeling?""Not good. Maybe you should come back another time.""No, today. I've been patient.""Nessie…""No, I am staying."It was silent for a moment. Edward flinched and I knew Bella was giving him a piece of her mind for not trying harder to stop me. He couldn't be blamed, I was not leaving. It was rude though that I had such a limited time with her and she was wasting it talking to him. Not her fault though, newborns are easily distracted; or so I've heard. "Mom?"She suddenly looked up and caught my eye. "Sorry. How's was school? Did you make any friends? How are your classes?""They're fine. I didn't really talk to anyone and my classes are easy. Jacob picked me up after school."Her eyes suddenly shifted to Jacob. "Jake, how's my bestest?""Heya Bells, I'm doin good.""Mom!" I interrupted. She was distracted again."Oh sorry. How's your grandpa? Is he doing good? How is Grandma Sue?""They're doing alright. Sue still has trouble being around me even with Jake around. It seems she'll never get used to vampires. Seth and Leah are fun to hang out with though." Seth being fun was an understatement. Leah on the other hand, the word fun was overly generous."That's good." She turned to Edward and sighed."C'mon Nessie, it's time to go," Edward said.I grunted, but surrendered. I've had my moment with my mom; I didn't want to hurt her anymore. I would never feel the kind of pain she felt, but I had a basic understanding. I felt the same cravings for human blood, but I wasn't as driven as a normal vampire for it. I was perfectly happy with my "vegetarian" diet. Vegetarian meaning that I don't drink human blood. My family and I lived on the blood of animals. Being half-human though I could survive off human food, but it wasn't very appetizing."Alright, well it was good to see you mom." I stood and for a moment I got a risky idea in my head. As I passed by my mom, I slowly brushed my hand against hers and showed her an image of her and I together on a tire swing. It was a very strong memory of mine and I felt it would express how much I loved her. As soon as our skin touched, she immediately grabbed my wrist with her other hand."Bella," said Jasper.My mom's lips caved back showing her teeth. She stared at my hand for a moment, not letting go. I couldn't break free, she was stronger than I was. I waited for Jacob, Edward, Jasper, or Emmett to step in and save me, but they just sat and watched. She squeezed tighter and I could feel the muscles and bones in my wrist scream in agony, but I didn't flinch."Bells," said Jacob. I could tell he wanted to leap in front of me, but Edward's expression held him back. Edward could only read my mom's mind when she allowed it, but it seemed like he was listening to her now. What was she telling him to make him stay back? Then suddenly she released me. I stepped backwards and rubbed my wrist. That might leave a mark; I'd have a tough time explaining the mark around my wrist at school."I love you too, Nessie," she said. I carefully backed out of the room. As I approached the door, I realized I couldn't leave my mom with the look of fear on my face. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her choice to do what she did. It was her instincts. I forced a smile hoping she would buy it. Then I quickly ducked through and out into the trees."That was stupid," said Edward and he rushed out after me. I could hear the air escaping my mom's lungs from inside the cottage. She had to hold her breath around me to resist the smell."It's who I am. Don't call me stupid because it's the only way I know how to really communicate," I retorted. "Plus, it's not half as dumb as what…" Damnit. I knew he picked the memory out of my head as soon as I thought it. His eyes furiously turned toward Jacob."Jake! What have you done? Can't you keep your stupid muzzle shut?""What? What did I do?" asked Jake."You used Nessie's full name. Damnit.""What? You mean to Carla? She didn't even remember Nessie.""Maybe she didn't. But what happens when she mentions your new friend to her parents. They'll remember her. How are we going to explain that Nessie aged from zero to seventeen in seven years? You stupid dog.""Daddy!" I yelled."Chill Nessie, I got this," said Jacob. "Look, sorry, I was caught off guard. What do you want me to do?""We have to leave.""What?" Jake and I both said in unison. My jaw dropped."Where would we go?" I asked. Immediately I knew the answer. We were going to Alaska."I have to talk to Carlisle and Esme."I dropped my head. It wasn't that I had any real reason not to move. I had no friends other than Jacob, Seth, and Leah. I had just started school. I was just comfortable here. Grandpa was here, home was here, I knew the hunting territory.I also was not eager to see Tanya. Although she doesn't blame me, I still feel somewhat responsible for the death of Irina. Irina was killed by Caius for being wrong about me being an immortal child. Immortal children were children that were bitten and transformed into a vampire while still being kids. They were highly uncontrollable and deadly. They were all killed off by the Volturi family years ago and making them is against the law. Irina's mother was killed for making an immortal child and Irina thought I was one and felt Bella broke the law. It was a fair misunderstanding; I would've thought the same about myself.Caius had his own self interests to achieve though and he killed Irina in an attempt to start a war between my family and the Volturi. Of course he used the excuse that she wrongly accused my mother of a crime. That was only his excuse. The truth is that he wanted to kill off the Cullen family but then offer my mother and father a chance at life if they served the Volturi with their unique gifts. Luckily for my sake, Tanya and her other sister had the self control, and a little outside help, to resist attacking. Still, I wonder if sometimes her subconscious blamed me.By the time the three of us reached the house, Emmett had caught up to us. Someone had to be with Bella at all times, which was usually Edward or Jasper. Edward because Bella was his wife, my mother. Jasper because was an army major during the civil war before becoming a vampire. Even while a vampire, he let a small element of vampires to fight to newborns. He had the most fighting experience. Edward stepped into the house first. "Carlisle? Esme?" he called. They were downstairs in an instant. Even Alice came to join us. Her talent of seeing the future would not give away what was going on. She couldn't see my future or anyone of the werewolves like Jacob."Yes, Edward, what is it?" Carlisle asked. He held a book in his hand with his finger stuck between the pages. It was obvious he was being interrupted, but chances were he already had the words memorized from cover to cover. The book was just a cover up while he sat and thought about different things."We have to leave. Jake screwed up. He used Bella's real name at school. I knew school was a bad idea.""No it wasn't," Jacob said."Yes it was," I said. "I was bored the whole time.""Well you need to get the social experience. It's not just about learning. You don't deal with people very well, Nessie. You need to go to school."I grunted. "School is cool, stay in school," I said sarcastically."Where do you think we need to go?" said Carlisle."Alaska. We need to leave tonight.""Ok," said Carlisle. "But do you really plan to move Bella in her current state? It will be a lot harder to care for her and control her on the trip and in Alaska.""Well the plan was always to take her to Alaska," said Edward."Before she became a vampire. The plan was to do it in Alaska so we didn't violate our pact with the wolves and so she would be isolated. We never planned to move her while she was in this state."Edward sighed and began to think for a moment. "Well I am not leaving her.""Me neither. You'll need help. Jasper should stay too," said Emmett."I need to stay as well, to care for her," said Carlisle.Alice's eyes suddenly lite up. "Girl road trip!" she burst out. Everyone turned to look at her. "Esme, Rosalie, Neesie, and I can go to Alaska together. It'll be fun. We'll make stops along the way and visit places. I can map out our whole trip. Oh, we should see Crater lake in Oregon.""Isn't Oregon the wrong direction?" I asked."Well, yeah. But we'll just take a little detour." She looked at Edward as if begging his approval."That's actually a half decent idea," said Carlisle. "Esme?""I'm in," she said."Rosalie?"In an instant, my other aunt was in the room with her arm around my shoulder. "I'm in too.""Then it's settled, you four will go to Alaska.""Seven," said Jacob."Seven?" Alice asked.Jacob sighed. "Well I am not going to be away from Nessie that long. And Seth and Leah will come no matter how much I beg them to stay. So that makes four vampires, three wolves.""Seven then," I said."I'll call Tanya and let her know you're coming," said Carlisle."I need to go shopping," said Alice."I'll start getting us packed and get the cars ready," said Rosalie."I'll make some meals for Nessie and the wolves," said Esme."I'll go let Seth and Leah know what's up," said Jacob.Great, everyone had something to do except me. I sighed and thought of my poor mother. Hopefully she wouldn't think this side trip had anything to do with her. I wouldn't want her to think that her outburst would be the cause of my trip. I know Edward would explain it to her, but I wasn't sure if she would believe it. If I could, I would visit her and let her know it's alright. But I knew that would only make it worse. Just being around me caused her physical pain. Then when I left, she went through emotional pain. She blamed herself for being a newborn, I blamed me.I heard the roar of the Jeep Wrangler Emmett bought me. Maybe some good would come out of this."Not a chance," said Edward."But Daddy," I gave him puppy eyes. I should have good experience, my best friend was a dog."No. Your seven.""Technically. But physically I am seventeen and mentally I am easily an adult. Daddy please?""Do adults say Daddy please?" A thought struck my mind. "Bella, NO!""You said it Daddy. Adults don't have to ask." I turned to the garage. "Rosalie," I yelled, "Dad says I can drive."Edward shook his head obviously giving up on the fight. He hadn't tried very hard. He must've picked up on my thoughts earlier and felt I needed it. I felt a little bad for taking advantage of the situation.Edward snickered. It was obvious he heard that. Everytime I was reminded that he could hear me, I remembered all the things I didn't want him to hear. Like the one time. WAIT! La la la la la la la, la la la la la. And on that farm he had a pig. Ee ei ee ei oo. With an oink oink here and an oink oink there.Whew, trouble adverted. I turned toward the stairs and headed up to Edward's old room which was now mine. As the only person in this household that actually had to sleep I got my choice of sleeping arrangements. I chose my Dad's room since it was already fitted with a bed. All of my clothes were scattered on the bed. Sure I could arrange them neat and properly, it would take no time at all. But this was how I rebelled. I can't be perfect. I could do worse. It suddenly hit me like a brick flying through the air, I didn't have a suitcase to pack. I've never left on any kind of vacation. I've been in Forks my entire life.Sure I've taken small trips, overnights. We didn't pack for those. Only Jacob and I sweat and Jacob can carry clothes for both of us. This was a conundrum. "Emmett!" I shouted down the hall. Of course he wouldn't need me to shout to hear me, but I was in a hurry."Sup girlie!" he smiled."I've got a bet for you."He paused for a moment. "I'm listening."Ok. First bet ever with Emmett. "I bet you that Alice is going to come back with a suitcase completely packed for me. If I win, I want ten minutes with my mom before we leave."He signed. "Ness, you know I can't do that. You'll have to talk to your Dad.""I can't. He'll say no. Please Emmett. Please. There isn't any reason for Alice to even know I don't have a suitcase.""She's Alice. It doesn't take a fortune teller to know that when Alice goes shopping, she shops.""Please please please please.""NO!" Edward shouted from below."Sorry Ness, that's the answer right there." I begged with my eyes but they had no effect. "Sorry girlie."Just then, I heard Alice step through the front door. She was up to my room in a split second with two suitcases in hand. "Nessie! Emmett, go away, I gotta show Nessie some stuff."He sighed at me. "Sorry girlie," he said as he stepped out.Alice gave him a questioning look then turned toward me a smiled. "Guess what I got.""I have a pretty good idea already." And I did. It was exactly like Emmett said. When Alice goes shopping, she shops. Big time. I am sure she just spent three hundred dollars on me. It seemed like my Dad's side of the family had no quarrels about spending money. My mom, though, taught me to be humble with money. Didn't matter how much we had."Which one is mine?" I asked. Not even knowing Alice prepared me for the answer."Both!" she said with some kind of pride that she spent all that money on me. It was unnecessary."Uhh. Thanks?""I can take it back," she offered. Her expression was apologetic."You already know I'm keeping it, Alice. Just show me what you got.Her face turned to a bright smile. "Ok well, don't get upset but," she paused, "let's just say you don't need to bother packing." She threw the suitcases on the bed and unzipped them. She started shuffling through tops and bottoms, socks and hats, gloves and undershirts. That was only the first suitcase. Then she threw open the second suitcase and exposed a wide selection of shoes, hair supplies, and makeup.I shrugged my shoulders. "Alice, I don't even wear makeup. Look at me, my skin is perfect. And shoes?" Alice surely couldn't have forgotten I inherited my mother clumsiness. Even with my vampire enhanced senses, I still managed to have the bad luck of tripping over a small rock or crack. I've even been known to fall over sideways for no reason. Not my fault, if your body grew as fast as mine did, you'd fall over too. Hopefully when I turn seven all that will stop.Alice was hard to turn down though. Her overly happy attitude was contagious. With a smile, I flipped the lids closed. I zipped them up and pulled the handles. "Thanks Alice, you're the best." I dragged my new wardrobe down the stairs and into the garage where my yellow jeep wrangler sat waiting. Rosalie already had the engine running and the stereo on. She had taken off the top. I threw my bags into the back. Moments later, all the girls gathered in the garage with their luggage."Wait," Edward said as he caught us climbing into our cars."Daddy? Come to say bye?""Yes. But also, I think you should talk to your mom before you go."My eyes brightened and a smile crossed my face. I ran through the house and out the front door, down across the yard and into the woods, and then I sprinted with all my strength toward the cottage. Edward easily caught up to me. I got tired quickly but I didn't stop. I slowed down to an average human speed but I kept running. I'd catch my breath when I got there. As soon as I reached the cottage, Edward jump in front of me."I want you to be brief. Tell her what happened, tell her you love her, and tell her you'll see her soon."I nodded. I was being given a freebie and I wasn't going to screw it up. "Can I give her a hug?" I asked.Edward looked at me for a moment and seemed to honestly consider it. "Wait for Emmett to get here and then I'll think about it. If it seems ok, I'll give you a head nod.""Ok, sounds fair," I said. At least he was open minded about it. I stepped toward the door but he stuck his hand out and held me back."Wait," he said.It was just then that I heard the footsteps approaching. Jacob and Emmett stepped through the trees. Jacob stopped by my side but Emmett pushed his way through the door. Edward followed behind him tailed by Jacob and I."Mom?" I said. The room was dark. It took longer for my eyes to adjust than it took for the others. The dark was a little creepy, but what about my life wasn't?"In here Nessie," she said from the living room. I followed Edward into the room where she sat on the couch with her arms folded. Jasper sat next to her and Emmett found a position behind her. It was a good sign that they didn't have their hands on her. Perhaps her strength and control was returning."Hi Mom," I smiled. I rarely got to see her every couple weeks and now I see her twice in one day. It must be a good sign. Even if she still couldn't be around humans, she might be getting more immune to my scent."Hi Ness. I hear you're taking a trip."I nodded."I'll miss you. It's hard enough as it is."I felt the constriction in my throat. Heart sunk and tears began to well. I wasn't going to cry though. I was determined not to cry. I didn't want her to hurt anymore. I couldn't cry."Ness?""Momma, I'm going up to Alaska. Not because of earlier today, that's not it. You're getting better, I know you are. Please momma, I love you so much. Please don't think it's your fault." Her hands went up to her mouth and her eyes were in shock. "We had a slip up at school today and...""Nessie, Nessie, Nessie. Please stop." My voice cut off but my mount couldn't close. "Ness, my dear. I understand. I truly am sorry for what happened earlier, but I know why you are going to Alaska. Don't let my…status…hold you back. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy Alaska. Don't be afraid, don't be sad."That was it, I was done. I let go of the strength I had left and let the tears come. The dam broke and the crying burst out. Bella tried to comfort me out of instinct but Jasper held her back. Jacob wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into a hug. After a few moments I was able to compose myself again."I just. I'm going to miss you so much and I want things to be like they were. I miss all our time. I miss my mom."Jacob whispered in my ear reminding me to keep it brief. It was a reminder what my mom was going through. Not only did she face the physical pain of resisting the smell of my blood, but now I was forcing emotional pain in the mix as well. I didn't want to do that."Mom, Dad says you're going to join us soon. I'll be looking forward to that. I know you're doing your best and you'll get better. I love you so much.""I love you too, Nessie."I looked to Edward for his approval. He met my eyes but shook his head. It was an obvious no. I had overstayed my welcome and she was finding it harder to hold back. 'Be brief' he had told me. I fought for a smile and found it deep inside my heart. I allowed it to rise to the surface. "Bye momma, I'll see you soon." I stood and turned toward the door. Jacob followed me out with his hands on my shoulders. I almost needed his strength to help me out. I fought the urge to turn around and hug her despite my father's disapproval."Bye mom," I said as I walked through the door. It was rough, but I kept walking. I walked all the way back to Carlisle's house. Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and Seth waited in front of the cars. As Jacob and I approached Leah came out from hiding in the trees. Jacob, Seth took the mustang. We convinced Leah to ride with the rest of us girls in the Jeep even though she really didn't want to. She was so stubborn sometimes but Jacob told her it would be good for her. After years of being around vampires, she still felt uneasy. She didn't trust vampires and I feared she never would.As I climbed in the driver seat of the wrangler, I was both excited and sad. One the one hand I was taking a trip out of Washington and moving to a new area. On the other, I was leaving my mother behind.
This post has been edited by TParis: 14 December 2008 - 12:37 AM

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