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Empty; A Twilight Fanfiction, post- Breaking Dawn How can Bella go on without her Edward... (C4) Rate Topic: ***-- 2 Votes

#1 User is offline   NiduenDrottning Icon

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Posted 29 December 2008 - 06:41 PM

I'm so very glad this didn't actually happen in the Twilight books, but I thought it would be interesting to write. I've been weeping for the last half an hour over just the very idea of this story. lol.gif
This is just an introduction, more or less. I would really appreciate any thoughts and advice because I'm trying to improve my writing. So here it is....
Oh and the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.


Chapter 1
Nightmares

Never in my wildest dreams or nightmares could I ever have imagined that this is what my life as an immortal would be like. This could not be my life. This was not my life…
It was just a horrible nightmare, and I would wake up anytime soon. I would feel his strong arms holding and caressing me, and I would look up into his loving, mesmerizing golden eyes. I would breathe in his alluring scent and listen to his velvety, enchanting voice gently humming my lullaby and whispering vows of eternal love. I would be with my Edward.

Why was it, then, that I never woke up to any of these things? If I woke up in someone's arms, they weren't Edward's. If I looked into someone's eyes, they were not my angel's either. And if I heard anything when I woke up from my nightmares, it wasn't Edward telling me how much he loved me.

For the last month, I've been "waking up" in the arms of Alice or Esme, whose black eyes were brimming with despair and loss. I've been waking up to the sobbing of whoever was left of my family. We couldn't shed tears over the deceased members of our family, but we could cry, and it was impossible to tell in whose eyes there was more anguish and suffering.

I, however, knew who would suffer the most. Carlisle and Esme still had each other and so did Alice and Jasper. But I was alone, and I would never be with my angel again.

Edward was dead.

This post has been edited by NiduenDrottning: 31 December 2008 - 08:10 PM

And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

--Edgar Allan Poe


Check out my still untitled and "under construction" story here. I could use some advice.

#2 User is offline   China Oolong Icon

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Posted 30 December 2008 - 04:41 AM

Ooooooooooooh.

blink.gif

I feel rather sorry for the poor characters. But not sorry enough to cry over it. Maybe its because I've only read the first book. Or maybe it's because I'm always pissed off at Edward.

Either way, nice. And I want an update.


#3 User is offline   Aliveinthepages Icon

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Posted 02 January 2009 - 09:51 AM

Interesting... Quite interesting. Even though I'm personally not a fan of the Twilight series itself, I admit, I like this! The emotion that you put into this piece is well-written and plausible, not melodramatic (like so many others I've read.) You use good, descriptive words without overdoing it or being repetitive. The metaphors relating to dreams and "waking up" are quite clever (relating it to vampires, in my opinion, simply extends them.) Good work--it makes me happy to read a good Twilight fanfiction. You have some talent--please continue with this series! I will be happily awaiting an update. biggrin.gif

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Please check out my fanfiction: http://www.inheritan...showtopic=44832 and give me some feedback!

#4 User is offline   DMan423 Icon

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Posted 02 January 2009 - 10:49 AM

I like this idea. I was a little dissatisfied with Stephenie Meyer's "happily ever after" ending to Breaking Dawn. You should definitely continue this story.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
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#5 User is offline   whereisbook4 Icon

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Posted 02 January 2009 - 10:54 AM

I agree that the happily ever after thing was to anti climatic, and it never really climaxed in the first place did it? Personaly I think that if a battle did break out and one died the other would go to the new seat of power and ask to be killed.
Read my story: Murtagh


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#6 User is offline   NiduenDrottning Icon

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Posted 02 January 2009 - 03:19 PM

Wow, thank you
I'll continue writing this, but I probably won't be able to update in another week But now that some people like it, I will definitely get to work on it soon. Thanks again. lol.gif

This post has been edited by NiduenDrottning: 02 January 2009 - 03:26 PM

And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

--Edgar Allan Poe


Check out my still untitled and "under construction" story here. I could use some advice.

#7 User is offline   China Oolong Icon

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Posted 02 January 2009 - 06:08 PM

QUOTE (NiduenDrottning @ Jan 2 2009, 08:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'll continue writing this,


IF YOU DONT CONTINUE WRITING THIS I'll...I'll...

Eat Edward. Yes, that's it. I'll eat Edward. Then he really will be dead, and you'll cry. Humph.

#8 User is offline   Sapie Icon

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 04:38 PM

Great story. It's very original. Stephenie Meyer's ending was too happy, so I'm happy that there is an Fanfic after it.

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#9 User is offline   Go for Gin Icon

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 04:06 PM

I'm just glad Edward is dead. He had no development beyond being perfect. And Bella deserves to go through something painful. She was even more annoying than Edward.

Uh...Or So I Heard....

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#10 User is offline   JadeRiderofTerrador Icon

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Posted 24 January 2009 - 05:44 AM

biggrin.gif are you going to do more? How did edward die?

#11 User is offline   China Oolong Icon

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Posted 24 January 2009 - 06:36 AM

QUOTE (JadeRiderofTerrador @ Jan 24 2009, 10:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How did edward die?



I killed him.

But yesss, are you going to continue this? Or do I have to write my own fanfic if I want to see Bella suffer?

#12 User is offline   Creme Fraiche Icon

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Posted 25 January 2009 - 03:08 PM

I like this so far.
Unlike Meyer you describe Bella's feelings perfectly.

This post has been edited by xBANannAx: 25 January 2009 - 06:22 PM

If anyone is interested. I updated my art thread.
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#13 User is offline   Chris99 Icon

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Posted 13 May 2009 - 06:46 AM

Hey, why has this died?

Won't you post another chapter?
My first attempt at a fanfic: Cloudy Morning (Twilight series). The story of Ephraim Black, son of Renesmee.

#14 User is offline   FriendofElves Icon

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Posted 13 May 2009 - 06:06 PM

Your...Your... Your going to kill Edward? But... Why?!!!!!???!!!! question.gif You cant kill him! Do you hate Bella or somrthing? Im still going to read this even though you are going to kill him.
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#15 User is offline   Chris99 Icon

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Posted 15 May 2009 - 03:38 AM

QUOTE (FriendofElves @ May 14 2009, 02:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your...Your... Your going to kill Edward? But... Why?!!!!!???!!!! question.gif You cant kill him! Do you hate Bella or somrthing? Im still going to read this even though you are going to kill him.


He already has.

But apparently he has let the thread die as well. wallbash.gif
My first attempt at a fanfic: Cloudy Morning (Twilight series). The story of Ephraim Black, son of Renesmee.
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