[Cecalae x]

Unrelenquished, Angels sing
And through their voices
The beauty of the world is sung
With innocence and grace

Beauty in its kindest form
One of wonder,care and light
Is sung into our hearts forevermore
For us to keep and to cherish

Rejoice, for we are nigh upon
The world slowly changing
Be grateful for what we have forever
The love of the Lord of eternal light.

----
Never writen poetry without rhyme before, and does that qualify as poetry?

Another poem, easier to write due to rhymeing!
Slightly Inheritance related

The smell of leaves does drift, upon the autum air
On a lone pebble beach does sit a madien fair
With tresses as dark as the darkest night
Her skin does sheen with unrelenquished light

As she lifts her head, her lips do part
And comes from them, an aching cry
With passion she puts a dagger to her heart
And forevermore she lays, under the omiscent sky.

----
There they are
Perahps i just cant write poetry lol.
Do you think I should stop writing?, Or have any ideas what I can write poetry about?

This post has been edited by Cecalae x: 19 February 2009 - 02:41 PM

[sunfest13]

Good job, But I have to say, poetic license doesn`t cover spelling. Use spell check.
I liked the old english, I was starting to fear that writings in such had blow away in the wind. We were reading R&J in English, and nobody understood it. Considering we`re a class of teenagers, that`s good, but I`m glad to see that people are still able to write in that style.

[Cecalae x]

Thanks for the criticm, I checked for spelling.
Just changed the poems as didn't really like the other ones.

[Africander]

I liked them both, but maybe if the theme of your poems was clearer it would be better

[Zera]

I had made a reply for this one and for whatever reason it's not there anymore. Damn, I'm pissed because it was pretty long.

[ElvenBeauty]

Unrelenquished, Angels sing
And through their voices
The beauty of the world is sung
With innocence and grace

Beauty in its kindest form
One of wonder,care and light
Is sung into our hearts forevermore
For us to keep and to cherish

Rejoice, for we are nigh upon
The world slowly changing
Be grateful for what we have forever
The love of the Lord of eternal light.

----
Never writen poetry without rhyme before, and does that qualify as poetry?

Another poem, easier to write due to rhymeing!
Slightly Inheritance related

The smell of leaves does drift, upon the autum air
On a lone pebble beach does sit a madien fair
With tresses as dark as the darkest night
Her skin does sheen with unrelenquished light

As she lifts her head, her lips do part
And comes from them, an aching cry
With passion she puts a dagger to her heart
And forevermore she lays, under the omiscent sky.

----
There they are
Perahps i just cant write poetry lol.
Do you think I should stop writing?, Or have any ideas what I can write poetry about?

You are really good!!!!! Don't worry, my poems don't rhyme. Keep on writing!!!

[Cecalae x]

Hey, different/ new poem. This has been on before but I took it off. This one rhymes, I havent really got confindence to write more non-rhymeing ones.
As you said ElfElder to make the themes more obvious, I will put a title on this one. It was hard with the other ones cause they wernt really whole poems.
This one's also quite different to the others.( the title is in latin and means Mother of Mine)

Matris of Mei

Doth she have a weakend soul,
A heart so black, a lump of coal
A reflection which shimmers on a moonlit lake,
A life which evil would surely take

An unfathomable evil, yet it lives on true
Through the marrow of her decited bones
It lives and strives through flickering shadows
A death so tauting: a walk to the gallows.

Though her mind awake,her heart doth lie in slumber
A sanctory from the roaring thunder
And from the thunder, doth come a storm of rage
For she hath lost wisdom with age

Never again shalt she be the same,
A storm of rage from wich destruction came
And the only injustice left is her own
But to her that shalt never be known

----
There it is, a bit weird isnt it. O well...

This post has been edited by Cecalae x: 23 February 2009 - 12:12 PM

[Africander]

Very nice, I like the rhyming couplets because they don't restrict the poem as they sometimes do, also great imagery.

Is this actually about your mother?

This post has been edited by ElfElder: 23 February 2009 - 12:38 PM

[Cecalae x]

... Yes, well its one of my depictions of her, ..
Im not a terrible person nor is she just we don't get on that well tho.. lol.
Thankyou, Im glad you liked it, I wasnt sure about it.
I was wondering, when I rhyme like this, do my poems sound childish?

This post has been edited by Cecalae x: 23 February 2009 - 03:36 PM

[Katenya]

Ha Ha. You really not like your mom at the moment. I think you should show her this poem. Actually please don't do that because I really want you to live ha ha.

But the poem is very good. I like your other ones too. And you wrote a poem that not have rhym in it!! So not like you ha ha. But it still sound a very good poem. I'm so jelous of you. You can write so well so easily!! =]

[Cecalae x]

Yes, well, you know how we are. Also, if you look the poem is more statement of fact, and pity and of acceptance. Meaning not that agressive, I hope I suceeded.
I really not v.good , your much better:P

[Africander]

... Yes, well its one of my depictions of her, ..
Im not a terrible person nor is she just we don't get on that well tho.. lol.
Thankyou, Im glad you liked it, I wasnt sure about it.
I was wondering, when I rhyme like this, do my poems sound childish?

Not childish at all.

I used to get really annoyed with my mum a lot. But now I just overlook everything that usually would annoy me. I've been coming across quite a few latin words lately, probably wouldn't hurt to learn a few. great poem

[Cecalae x]

Here is just a random verse of a poem that I was writing but got stuck.


Lonely, lonley, the candle forever burning,
Peaceful, peacful, shines its eternal glowing
Hatefully, hatefully nothing can quenche its growing hunger
Impatiently, it waits to devoir itself.

[Africander]

Here is just a random verse of a poem that I was writing but got stuck.


Lonely, lonley, the candle forever burning,
Peaceful, peacful, shines its eternal glowing
Hatefully, hatefully nothing can quenche its growing hunger
Impatiently, it waits to devoir itself.

Maybe you could write a verse with what is nice about the candle as to contrast this one

[Cecalae x]

Ok, I work on it:).
I did try to put peacful in to contrast, and perhaps if I put patiently in stead of impatiently...