[evarya]

Hello my name is Evarya, I’m new at this , first time I’ve ever done this but I can’t get the story I made out of my head so I thought I would try this.Its about Eragon, Saphira and Arya during the fourth book . Please give me your thoughts on it. EXA Fic too
This takes place right were Brisinger stops. Hope you like it

Revised chapter




Chapter 1

Alone

Eragon and Saphira POV.

5 leagues away from the Varden, in a small beautiful clearing covered with soft lush forest green grass and sky blue, sun yellow, and dark purple flowers, with a small crystal clear spring flowing along the edge of it, sat Eragon and Saphira. Eragon was leaning against Saphira's soft sapphire belly, gazing at the cloudless light blue sky, while Saphira was curled around her rider; her tail wrapped around him and her giant head resting next to his body, with her eyes closed, and her mind resting in a peaceful dream.
This peaceful sanctuary was where they came every day to escape from the troubles of other people and the painful war they fought in; the only time they left it was when the need arouse.

It had been a week since Oromis had left the world to enter the void and a week since Glaedr had gone into his golden eldunari and began to mourn the person who once shared his fierce but kind heart and soul. Ever since, what they thought of as fathers were taken from them, Eragon and Saphria had both closed them selves off from all the people around them, even Roran and Arya. If either came near the Dragon and Rider they would take to the endless sky and leave the raven-haired elf or brown haired human where they stood.

As Eragon stared into the blue sky, that had kept his gaze for hours, thoughts swirled around his pained and tortured mind. Thoughts of all that had happen the last two years of his life and thoughts of all the people that had been taken from him ever since he and Saphira had been thrust into this war of sorrow. " Is it we are not to have anyone to love?...Almost everyone we have ever loved has been taken from us; Mother, Garrow, Father, Ajihad, Murtagh, Hrothgar, And now they only fathers we had left, Oromis and Glaedr...The only family we have left is Roran...Everyone else just uses us as weapons to destroy the king ...Even Arya."

"No, Little One we are to have no one to love nor find any happiness until you rip your blue steel fang through that two legged Egg-Breakers heart. It is only then that we will be happy."

Eragon's head dropped down to look into the now open sorrow filled sapphire eyes of Saphira; he was surprised to hear her voice in his head, for he had thought she was asleep but the words she spoke took his attention away from that fact. He knew they were truer then any, happiness would only be found once the king was dead.

"Yes, Saphira, only then..May that time come soon."

Saphira let out a snort followed by a puff of black smoke in agreement, then closed her eyes once more. Eragon leaned back into Saphira, closed his chocolate eyes, and took in a deep breath of the sweet air to clear his troubled mind. Countless minutes passed them by as they sat in silence in the peaceful field just enjoying the others company. Though just as they started to retreat into them selves so much that they were on the verge of sleep a mind lightly brushed against theirs. They tried to ignore the mind that threatened to disturb their peace but as time passed it began to become stronger and stronger. Both dragon and rider let out growls of annoyance then lightly lowered the strong walls that kept their minds closed to all. An elven messengers musical mind then entered theirs cautiously and spoke his reason for disturbance.

"I'm deeply sorry to bother you Shadeslayer but the War Council seeks you and Brightscales presence."

"We will be there shortly." Eragon spoke in a dark tone.

The elf then quickly retreated from their minds leaving Eragon and Saphira alone once again. Eragon slowly rose to his feet as Saphira uncoiled her tail from around his body and stood to all fours. She took a few steps away from Eragon then quickly started to shake her head back and froth; her thin membrane sapphire wings unfolded and rose high in the air above her, she then let a piercing roar rip through the air. Eragon winced as the loud sound reached his sensitive elven ears but quickly shook it off and started to walk towards his majestic dragon.

"Ready?"

Saphira softly look down towards her rider and gave him a slight nod.

"Yes, let us go."

Without another word Eragon gracefully jumped to her back and strapped himself into his saddle. Saphira waited till he had his legs strapped in then took to the blue heavens above. They flew in silence over the vast forest covered hills that surrounded Feister then the dark brown and cream colored tents of the Ergals an the Varden that were encased around the stone walls of the city. It took them no more then a hour to reach the cream colored tent that was the War tent. Once above the large grassy spot next to the tent Saphira dove from the sky and to the earth then at the last moment spread her wings out and landed hard to her feet, making the ground beneath her shake. Taking his time Eragon unstrapped his legs from his dragon saddle then jumped from Saphira to the earth below. The four Night Hawks guarding the entrance bowed their heads slightly as he walked pass them and entered the tent were he found Nasuada, Jormunder, King Orrin, Nar Garzhvog, Arya and all 11 of his elven gaurds waiting for them, siting around a large wooden table with one chair left empty.
Saphira's stuck her head through the large slit in wall at the farthest end of the tent, while Eragon gave his wordless bow, ignored the chair that was open to him in between Arya and Nasuada, and walked to stand by Saphira.
No words were spoken by the two when they came to these counsil meetings; if either did speak it was in very few words for neither cared to talk to anyone but themselves any more.

"I'm glad you made it Eragon, Saphira." Nasuada spoke to the two with a hint of anger in her voice. Neither Eragon nor Saphira said anything in return they just kept their gazes stern and their faces blank and unreadable.

As Eragon silently listened to Nasuada and Orrin speak of the number of soldiers the Varden now held, he could feel Arya's forest eyes burning into him, like coals would the ground; though, he showed no sign of caring or knowing. For a week now her emerald eyes were burning holes into his skin whenever they were within seeing distance of each other.
He still loved her more than his heart could bare, but he did not show it. The only one who knew anything of what he felt was Saphira, everyone else only saw the blank and unreadable mask that he now always wore

" Eragon, Saphira we are thinking about starting to make our move on the city of Merlian what do you two say in this matter?" Asked Nasuada

Eragon closed his chocolate brown eyes, and crossed his arms over his broad chest. The others in the room gazed at both him and Saphira and waited for his, what hey knew to be a short, answer.

"Saphira?" He asked privately

"We go were we are told my Little One."

"It matters not what we have to say...We go where we are told to go." Eragon said opening his eyes to the people around him.
He saw surprise come to everyone faces, even to Arya's usually beautiful blank face.

"It does matter what you have to say. You and Saphira are our strongest weapons."

"That is our point Emerald Eyes, we are weapons. We go where we must fight, for that's what we are meant for."

"Yes, that is what we are meant for, to fight. We are alone in this battle but we will still do what we are meant for until we can no longer....Nasuada send for us when the Varden is to leave."

With no other word to them, both he and Saphira withdrew them selves from the tent and left for their peaceful clearing one more.

This post has been edited by evarya: 14 October 2009 - 03:01 PM

[sunfest13]

I think it`s good, but you need a c-level before a mod comes.
to add a c-level, click on edit-full edit (this is underneath your post) then click on the description box and put in c-1, c-2,... c-6 These are rankings on how harsh you want critiques to be. c-1 is basically no critiques, and c-6 is "be as mean to my story as possible"

Copy-paste your writing to MWord, and do a spell check. You can add the names to the dictionary or just ignore the spell-check on them.


here`s my special welcome:

Welcome to the forums, hope you enjoy your stay, we have complimentary continental breakfast (assuming you make it yourself), and there`ll be mints on your pillow daily. (as long as you put them there yourself). Also, if you wish to contact the front desk about thread service and thread spam cleaning, you can call one of the moderators, who should gladly oblige.

[imbobbie]

You need to add qoutes around the words people are saying. It doesn't keep the qoutes for soom reason when you copy paste your story on to this site.

But besides that good story, I like how you made eragon's personality in this one, most people just say that he's really sad but they keep his personality the same.

[Pixel]

You need is a C-level, which you can read about here.

Good luck with your story!

[jsquared0905]

This is incredibly hard to read. Some suggestions.

When someone speaks with the mind, do italics, not quotations. Also, it is Nasuada, Saphira, and Oromis. And I think that weird A name was supposed to be Ajihad.

Use quotations when people speak and italics for when they think. Like this,

Saphira, do you think she loves me?

I don't know little one.

and if two people are talking,

"Eragon?"

"Yes Arya?"

Get my point? If you need me to I will take a look at that first chapter and fix it so you know what to do in the future. From what I could figure out though, it was good. And don't forget to C-Level.

[evarya]

Thanks all im am glad you told me all rhis sruff i will try to do better in my next chapter . thanks again

[evarya]

Chapter two

Different

Arya was walking around the cream colored tents thinking of the conversation that her self, Nasuada, Eragon, and Saphira had.
She did not understand why they where acting so different from there usually caring selves.

” They have never talked to me like that let alone Nasuada. What could it be, I understand that they are upset by Oromis and Glaedrs deaths, but that would not make them act like this … would it?”

Arya walked back and forth, with her fingers massaging her temples as she walked trying figure out what would make them say such things to Nasuada and her self but still could not understand, she was not used to Eragon acting so coldly to her, he always treated her with respect and kindness no matter what she did to him.
She was just about to give up on thinking about what was wrong with the two of them when she saw Eragon coming out of his tent, which he hardly used anymore.

She started to walk to him as fast as she could so he wouldn't get away again and so she could talk to him but by the time she was about 50 feet away his and Saphira's heads snapped up in her direction.
She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at them, Eragon's chocolate brown eyes frozen on her.
All three held their gaze for a moment, then Eragon started to back away from her and towards Saphira. Arya took a step in their direction and raised her hand to stop them but before she could say anything to them Eragon jumped on Saphira's back and took to the sky.
She darted after them but after a few moments of running she couldn't tell where they were anymore.
As she stood there looking into the sky some what hurt for they did that every time she tried to approach them, she thought to her self .

” What could we have done to make them so distant"

…………………………………...................................................................
.

” She tried to follow this time."

“Yes, I know they won’t seem to leave us alone now will they.” said Saphira

“No."

Eragon could feel the wind rush past him, he felt happy again like there was nothing but him and Saphira and they had no worries. He spread his arms out and closed his eyes enjoying the feeling he always had when he flew with Saphira, the feeling of being free.
After a few minutes of peace he opened his eyes and looked down to the Sapphire dragon who's scale's where glittering in the sunlight.

" I don’t want to leave here Saphira......I-I don’t want to fight .. it seems that’s all we ever do besides get hurt in some way and I'm sick of it.”

” I know Eragon I'm sick of it as well, though even know they all just want us to fight we must for that’s the only way to stop our painful life.”

He thought about her words for a few moments knowing they where true.

” Then we will fight, but we will care for no one but each other for it will only bring us pain if we do it any other way .”

As the words left Eragon's mouth he could hear the strain in his voice because that was what had happened to most of his loved ones is die and all it has caused them was grief.
He felt a sharp pain in his chest as he thought about those he lost again, and about losing more people he cared for.
He cringed at the thought of losing someone else.

“Eragon what about Arya do you not love her anymore?” Asked Saphira curios to his answer.

” Of coarse I love her but she shows no love back and she made that very clear to me last time I told her my feeling."

His words where hard as he said all this because he was sick of the pain that swelled in his chest every time he saw her.

“ I love her very much but I will hide that love and bury it deep inside me for I will not get my heart broken again by her no matter how much I love her.”

“That is very wise Eragon...I don’t like seeing you hurt it makes me want to tear the person who did it to you apart and I don't think you would like if I did that to her."

"No, not really"

"You always seem to get your self hurt some how..Its like trouble and pain are drawn to you"

“Hey no fair you help in the trouble matter.”

"That is true but the trouble is still drawn to you more than me."

He started to laugh at himself again knowing her words where true.
Then he realized that that was the first time he had laughed since his teachers died.
He looked back down to Saphira, smiled at her, then wrapped his arms around her large scaly neck.

"Thank you Saphira"

"For what Little One?"

"For choosing me...I cant imagine life without you."

................................................................................
.................................................................................
.....................................

This post has been edited by evarya: 15 March 2009 - 04:22 PM

[sunfest13]

That was good, but it needs to be a lot longer. I liked all of the emotion you put into it, and the way Eragon is actually mature.
keep it up.

[evarya]

Chapter Three

The Talk

While sitting in her tent Arya could’t keep her mind off of Eragon and Saphira, of how there faces where when they where happy, how there eyes always had a glow in them.
Then she remembered how there faces where when she saw them in the meeting, their faces so blank and unreadable, there eyes with no glow or happiness in them, their eyes just as unreadable as their faces.
She was still thinking when a messenger boy came in and interrupted her train of thought .

“Lady Arya, Lady Nasuada would like to speak to you.”

“Alright thank you”

The boy ran out of the tent out as if he was scared of her.
She then got up off her cot and made her way to Nasuadas tent.
When she got there the guards let her by without a question and she saw Nasuada looking at her from her desk with piles of paper work infront of her.

“Nasuada what did you need to talk to me about ?”

“ Ah Arya, I wanted to talk to you about Eragon and Saphira.”

“Then talk?”

“I know there is something wrong with them for they have been very distant from everyone even from his own cousin, but we need them right now for I wanted to leave for Merlain tomorrow and if Murtagh and Thorn show up we will not bealbe to stop them without Eragon and Saphira. So if you dont mind would you find them for me?”

“I will try but they always fly hi in the air so no one can follow them, it will be hard but I will try for I wish to speak with them as well.”

“Thank you Arya, you’re the only one they would let get close to them right now for they trust you more than most, so again I thank you, you are dismissed.”

She bowed and then took off in the direction she last saw Saphira go in.
It took her all day to find the right place but by mid day she found the clearing they where in.
She slowly walked to the edge of the clearing trying not to make much noise .
When she did she saw Saphira's sapphire body shining in the sun casting blueish light everywhere, and laying beside her was Eragon the man that confused her the most in this world. She could tell they where having a conversation but she thought if she didn't talk to them now she may not get another chance .

“Eragon, Saphira ?”

“What do you want.” Said Eragon with a irritated look on his face.

“I wanted to talk to you both.”

“About?”
He said as he got up and looked at her, his face blank and unreadable as it always was now.

“About why you have been so distant with everyone and refuse to talk to me .”

He gave a low chuckle as did Saphira but it sounded more like a growl than a laugh to her.

“If you do not know what is wrong with us Arya than you are not as wise as I thought you were.”

“How dare you say that to me !, have you no respect for anyone anymore ?”

"Arya as you always say to me, stop whining and get over yourself."

When he said that anger filled her.

"How dare you!....How can you say that to me when you are sitting here acting like a child not talking to anyone when there is things to be done that are more important !"

After she said that she regretted it because Saphira gave a loud roar, bared her teeth, and started to move towards her looking like she was going to eat her.

“Saphira no it is not worth it she does not understand or care and probably wont.
As for your questioned, no we have very little respect for anyone anymore because they have no respect for us.
Eragon said holding his hand on Saphira’s leg as if to stop her.

"And let me say this Arya you tell me I'm a child always whining maybe I am, but you don't look at yourself do you? you must not see how you hide your feelings behind a mask of stone and let no one in no matter how much they care for you."

"Yes Eragon you are right on most of the things you just said except one, Arya he is not a child he is far from it. If you ask me we both are starting to become just like you cold, and made of stone, so you should be proud."

Arya stood there looking at them hurt by what they said and what Saphire tried to do to her. She soon collected herself and slowly walked towards Eragon keeping an eye on Saphira as she did though.

“What has happened to you there is nothing I recognize in you anymore, everything I saw in you is now gone, from both of you."

As she said that she tried to put a hand to Eragon's cheek to make him peaceful and keep him from walking away from her, but as soon as her hand touched his skin he took a step back letting her hand fall to her side.
When he did that for some reason it hurt her more than anything she had felt, Though she did not know why. She took a step back as well and looked to the ground hurt and angered .

“Nasuada wishes to speak with you, you should not keep her waiting.”

“Alright lets go and get this over with Saphira.”said Eragon

Before they left they answered her earlier Question .

“You wanted to know why we have changed, here is your answer.
Ever since Saphira has hatched we have lost most of the people we loved and cared for.
The only family we have left is Roran and Katrina. We are sick of being hurt and wont anymore by anyone not even you Arya…”

With that they took off towards the Varden and left her alone, she could feel the tears running down her face and tried to wipe them away and stop but had no success, so she just started to run as fast as she could .

………………………………………………………………………

“She did not look happy about what we said Eragon."

“I don’t care anymore now she knows a little of how I’ve felt all this time.”said Eragon with an angry voice.

“I have a feeling that we are leaving soon.”Said Saphira getting off the subject.”

“So do I , we knew we would sooner or later.”

“I know but I like it here I'm going to miss it , It’s peaceful in that clearing .”

When she said that he knew that she was right and he would miss it as well but there was no getting out of leaving and they both knew it.

“Maybe we can come back some day.”

“Yes , maybe after the war Little one.”

They flew to Nasuada’s tent the guards let them by.
When they walked in Nasuada was waiting siting in her chair starring at the door.

“Eragon , Saphira its nice to see you, where is Arya though , did she not fly back with you ?”

“No she did not, now what is it you wanted to see us about ?”said Eragon impatiently

“I wanted to leave for Merlian tomorrow and I wanted to know your opinion on it?"

“We already told you that we did not care and we would leave when you told us to.” Said Eragon with a irritated look on his face.

“We will leave in the morning then , and we will watch you from the sky.”

“Why wont you march with us?”

“I'm a dragon Nasuada I like the sky more than the earth, so I will fly and I want my rider with me .”said Saphira casting her thoughts out to Nasuada

“OK fine I will not argue with you Saphira, now go and I will see you in the morning.
Eragon wait I must ask you both why y-."
Before she could say more she was cut off by Eragon

"If you must know ask Arya she was told earlier and we don't want to explain it again."

With that they bowed and left for their tent to pack their things .

......................................................

Nasuada watch as they walked away from her not answering her question.

"Send a messenger to Arya and tell her to come I need to speak with her." She said to one of her guards .

Within minutes Arya was there.

"Yes" she said

Nasuada looked up at her and saw her tear stained face, wiht hurt and anger in her eyes and also in her voice.

"I tried to speak to Eragon and Saphria about why they have been acting so odd and they told me to ask you, what have they told you ?"

Arya looked at Nasuada remembering the talk she just had with Eragon and Saphira.

"Well first they didn't tell me anything, then they insulted me, and then they told me that the reason for their behavior is because they have lost almost all they love and care for and they are sick of getting hurt and wont anymore by anyone ."
"And they will show no respect to anyone is because no respect is shown back."
"I must say Nasuada some things they said to me really hurt but those words I'll keep to my self. said Arya starring at the ground.

" That is fine Arya and I must say just the words you have told me hurt me too."

"I'm sure... May I go now please no offense to you but I don't want to be here?"

"Yes of course you may, but take no offense to their words I'm sure they are just confused and did not mean them."

"I don't know about that Nasuada but I will try to think of what you said." said Arya pain in her voice .

As Nasuada watched Arya leave she thought to her self."What could they have possibly have said to make her mad ?"
................................................................................

They reached Merlain in three days later and to their relief had no problems and planned on attacking the following day.

“What will you and Saphira be doing in the battle Eragon?" Asked Nasuada in the battle meeting they were having .

“Me and Saphira will be helping were we can but we will mostly be on alert for Murtagh and Thorn. Why is there something else you want us to do ?”He asked Questioningly

“No I just need to know were you are .”

“Will you be needing the elves help in your fight Eragon ?" asked Arya in a soft voice.

“No I think we can manage, don’t you Saphira?”

Everyone looked to her for the answer to the question .

“I agree Eragon , we have grown much stronger since we fought Murtagh and Thorn last , Plus we have your ring and Glaedr so I don’t think we need your help Arya .”

“Are you sure we cant afford to lose the two of you?”

“Yes Arya I'm sure but if you want you can stay linked to us."Said Saphira she said it in a kind and annoyed way.

“I would feel better that way thank you Saphira. Said Arya with a thankful look on her face.

“Its settled than we attack in the morning , I don’t think there is anymore to discuss you all can go and rest."

As they were about to leave the tent they heard a loud roar from the out side.

“Saphira its them!” Yelled Eragon with his mind and voice.

They all ran out side the tent and looked out and there and behold was the large crimson dragon Thorn with Murtagh on his back and many of the

This post has been edited by evarya: 15 March 2009 - 04:36 PM

[imbobbie]

Well, its about time somebody writes a story were eragon is mean to arya.

[sunfest13]

^ Or at least considers her at the same level as other people.
Good job with that, it`s unusual, and I like it

[imbobbie]

When is your next update going to be?
Some time tonight or tommorrow?

[evarya]

it will either be up wenseday or thrusday nite.
glad you all like it .

[potter573]

This is exactly how I wanted Eragon to behave with Arya after she rejected him. You put in some good emotions there. But get more descriptions. Anyway, keep up the good work. And update soon.

[imbobbie]

I hope you update tonight this is a good story, and i can barely wait for an update.

Is this eventually going to be an ExA?