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Posted 18 March 2009 - 02:43 PM
It was a bright, sunny day, the birds were chirping, and a light wind blew lightly down from the mountains. Which, of course, made Arthryn, Queen of FTD (the Fantastically Terrible Dimension) very, very unhappy. Spitting at the ground in disgust, she stalked back into a gaping cave in the jet-black mountains, her shiny black leather suit sparkling in the sunlight. The walls of the cave were lined with the moldering corpses of those who had incurred the wrath of the Shadow Queen, along with a few former sex slaves who got a little too frisky.
The Land of FTD existed in a parallel dimension to earth. It was a dark land filled with every conceivable atrocity and horror. Thousand eyed slugs and multi-penis-ed women stalked the barren land, terrorizing all who came before their wrath. The land of FTD could be reached through various portals on the earth, most of which existed in the bathrooms of stripper bars or prostitute-houses. Many such portals were located in LA and Lass Vegas. Unfortunatlely, the portals would only open if live sex was perfomed in front of them, resulting in very few immigrants to FTD.
To relieve some of her stress, she proceeded down to the lower dungeons to torture a few prisoners. Withdrawing a black whip from her belt, she strode over to a short man shackled to one of the walls. He was entirely naked, and his hair was oily and disheveled. On his arm there was branding mark that read, “Palagrin”. Palagrin, upon seeing Arthryn, began screaming in terror.
“No, no, please, I beg of you, PLEASE GOD NO!!!!”
Arthryn regarded the man dispassionately for a moment, then brought the whip smashing down across his exposed torso. The tips of the whip, which burned with a magical fire, left deep red scars across his already scarred chest. The man let out an anguished moan, his sweaty chest heaving in the dimly lit cave.
Again, and again Arthryn brought the whip down, drawing more shrieks from the man and covering him in the blood. The shrieks echoed off the walls, and Arthryn was soon joined by the Queen of Sex, Hahdhafang. Her large sexy fangs glinted from some unseen light as she approached Arthryn.
“Having a bad day, dear?” She asked lightly.
“Its sunny today.” Growled Arthryn unhappily. “And my Wicked Double burger Supreme wasn’t cooked right.”
Hadhafang patted Arthryn on the shoulder sympathetically. “I’m am sorry dear. The sun is quite annoying, it’s almost giving me a tan. I can’t imagine facing the sisterhood with a tan. The humiliation.”
She slid her arm around Arthryn’s waist. “Why don’t you come back up to the sex quarters with me? We just acquired a few simply ravishing slaves.”
Arthryn smiled. “Hadha, you are lifesaver. What would I do without you?”
Hadha returned the smile. “What would I do without you?”
The two let out a contented laugh as they began strolling to the sex quarters, their laughter bouncing lightly across the torture chamber.
The slice of pizza hung precariously in the air. Vincent eyed it carefully, then, with practiced precision, shot out an olive green tongue and snatched the pepperoni triangle out of the air.
Stormfire and Lady Goldylocks applauded in admiration, and Vince grinned broadly.
The Headquaters of the IF League, commonly called the Staff Lounge, was abuzz with the happy chatter of the IF-League members. The room was circular, with a large flatscreen TV on one end and a group of sofas in the middle, at the center of which was a clear fiberglass table. On it rested a large box of pizza along with a few condoms.
Various If-League members sat around the room, talking and chatting. Vaevictus, Risstalle, Suicidal Bunny, and Allera sat on a few of the plush couches and were chatting happily about sex, while Charles and Ancalagon played Halo 3.
Ally sat on one of the plush red sofa busily doing homework. Ridiculous that a goddamn hero had homework, She thought sourly. As if she wasn’t busy enough already saving the world…
Near the corner of the room, standing sullenly with a mop was kinglfloat. He was the janitor and slave of the IF-League members. He eyed Vincent loathingly. Only someone as egotistical as him could male frog powers look cool....
He switched his gaze to Stormfire. Suddenly his eyes grew wide in excitement, and his hand shot down toward his dick.
Ally noticed Kingfloat’s sudden erection, and with a sigh, strode over to him and smacked him across the head with her History textbook. Kinglfoat, who had been too busy whacking off to notice Ally, flew forward and landed on his face. Ally rolled her eyes.
“Of all the scum to be granted X-Ray vision, he gets it,” she said disgustedly.
Kingfloat got up sniffling. He gazed at Ally pathetically. “You’re so mean! I hate you!” he spat in a high nasally voice.
Ally grinned. “I know.”
But at that moment, the plasma screen at the end of the room lit up. Mike appeared, puffing a cigar with two blonde girls with enormous tits.
Charles jumped up. “Mike, sir, how are you?”
“Not so good,” he replied gruffly. “There seems to be a disturbance downtown, and I want you to-“
He was suddenly interrupted as the girls grew impatient and began tugging on his arms. “Come on, Mikey-poo, you promised me you would have sex with me today, I’m feeling so horny, lets go!”
Mike’s face reddened. “Eh…uh…yeah, go look into it Charles.” The screen went blank.
Charles stood up and addressed the room. “Lets go.”
This post has been edited by bucket: 30 July 2009 - 10:06 AM
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