[BaneOfGalbatorix]

Chapter One: The beginning of the end.

Three days have passed. Three days since the Varden had taken Feinster. Three days since the elves finished off Gil'ead. Three days since Arya has gained the title of Shadeslayer. But most importantly, it has been three days since Eragon and Saphira have been alone. Eragon was sitting alone his tent with his master's eldunari.

Saphira?

Yes little one.

Saphira, I am frightened.

Do not be. No matter what happens, I am always here for you.

As I am for you.

The tent flap opened and Arya entered. "Good Morning, Arya-Shadeslayer" Eragon greeted her.
Arya stood proud and tall at the mention of being called Shadeslayer.

"All the same to you Eragon. At this time, we are being called down to Nasuada's tent to talk about the Varden's next move."

“Please excuse me for a few minutes while I don a new tunic and prepare myself. I shall meet you outside of my tent in five minutes, ready to depart.”

On this note, Arya exited the pavilion. As Eragon started to change he contacted Saphira.
Are you ready to go Saphira?

I do not remember Arya saying that I am needed at this meeting.

Aye, however it would be impolite to not show up. Remember at this time, we cannot afford to have any more enemies.

Nonetheless, you shall visit her with Arya and I shall go hunting. It has been quite sometime since I have had a decent meal. Also I need the time alone to dwell upon my memories of our masters and to think of what is best for us now.

Do as you wish Saphira, but do not venture off too far incase I need to contact you. We need not worry about any attacks for Thorn has been dealt a grievous wound and will not attack us for quite some time.

Okay little one, stay safe. I am off to hunt now.

Saphira, before you leave I would like you to consume a few extra animals today so I can store your extra energy into the belt of Beloth the Wise. The fight against Varaug has left me with little in the belt and I wish to replenish the belt incase of a sudden attack.

It is good that you are becoming aware of everything going around you. I shall bring back the extra energy. I shall continue to do this every time I hunt so you can have as much energy as possible.

Thank you. Now fly fast for you know I do not like being away from you.

As do I. I shall be back within a few hours if I find some decent prey.

Eragon could hear Saphira’s large wings start flapping as she took off. He quickly left his tent to see Arya standing outside waiting for him.

“All ready to go? Good it is about time.”

While they started walking towards Nasuada’s tent, Eragon wondered why Arya had personally waited for him instead of sending a messenger. After a few minutes of idle, silent walking Eragon finally broke the silence.

“Arya, would you join me after this meeting? I wish to talk with you. It is important.”

Arya pondered the question wondering what could be so important that Eragon wanted to talk to her alone about. After a few quiet moments she responded.

“Of course Eragon, I shall join you after the meeting.” As they approached Nasuada’s tent they could see her six bodyguards, the Nighthawks, outside.


This is my first attempt at a fanfic. Please tell me your comments. I have the next few chapters planned out however afterwards I will be polling to see which PoV you guys want .

This post has been edited by BaneOfGalbatorix: 03 January 2010 - 02:30 AM

[Fiolr]

Yes, please continue. I like your style of writing. Could we have a little longer updates, though? I'm willing to wait longer.

[BaneOfGalbatorix]

I shall continue either later tonight or tomorrow morning. I appreciate your comment It is my first time writing a fanfic, so the updates will become longer as the story progresses.

[evarya]

It was very good first chapter...but I do have one suggestion, When Eragon and Saphira talk seperate the sentances.

Like this.

"Yes Saphira?

"Yes Eragon?"

Its very confusing and hard to read when it is bunched together.
I didnt see any mistakes at all.

Looking forward to the next chapter

This post has been edited by evarya: 18 March 2009 - 11:37 PM

[The Shadeslayers]

First of all; I love your work.

You have a lot of potential and are able to create better character relationships than I could. Congradulations to you.

Do not worry about chapter length as you will find the correct length the more than you write.

I wonder what Eragon wants to talk with Arya about?
Pleas update soon

[imbobbie]

So far this seems good i must admit it's very good for a first time writer. this is somethin i would expect from people with more experience.

[BaneOfGalbatorix]

Thanks alot for the support guys!! I'll be updating in about 1 or 2 hours after I get some things done. I just woke up.

[BaneOfGalbatorix]

Chapter Two: A heated argument

Outside of Nasuada's tent stood Nar Garzhvog along with the other 5 guards. He noticed as Arya and Eragon walked forward. He quickly entered the tent and was greeted by Nasuada.
"Is there something wrong Nar Garzhvog?"

"No not at all Lady Nightstalker. Firesword and Arya-Svit Kona are approaching."

"Grant them access. They are invited as my guests. We are going to be having a meeting. Make sure that nobody disturbs us."

"As you wish Lady Nightstalker."

As Garzhvog stepped outside, Arya and Eragon were infront of the tent. He opened the tent flap and allowed them access while saying:
"Lady Nightstalker has been expecting you. Please step inside."

Together they both entered the tent. Nasuada and Arya exchaged the traditional elven greeting while simply greeting Eragon in english. Together they sat down with Jormunder and began their meeting.

"As you have been wondering, I have ordered the two of you here today in order to discuss our next move. As you already know, we originlly thought about laying siege to Belatona. However we have thought of another idea."

"Which is..?" Arya inquired.

" We are going to be attacking Melian. It will take less time for us to move to Belatona. Also by attacking Melian as well, the Varden can split their forces in two. This way, we will be able to obtain more of the empire's cities. Since we will be divided in two, I have deemed it fit for Roran to lead the other half of the army."

Everyone in the pavillion was left shocked as Roran came in and thanked Nasuada for this promotion. As everyone congratulated him he announced loudly over everyone. "Thank you Lady Nasuada very much for this chance. I promise you that I will not let you down."

"Now, back to the matter at hand. Saphira and Eragon. I wish for you two to join me in our siege of Belatona. It is a larger city then Melian and I wish to have you two alongside me since our forces are being split."

"Of course my liege lord."
On this note, Queen Islanzadi had appeared in the nearby mirror inside the tent.

"Nasuada! I need to speak with you!" The queen's voice roared and everyone stopped talking. She looked around and saw Eragon, Saphira and Arya and Roran present as well. " Ah good, everyone is here. As the queen of the elves, I am ordering Eragon, Saphira, their bodyguards and Arya to directly reach Gil'ead." After the queen had spoken there was an angry look on Nasuada's face.

"We cannot afford to have all the elves and Eragon and Saphira missing from our ranks. Gil'ead is at least a week long trip as well as the stay there." Nasuada looked as if she was on the brink of screaming.

"WAITT!" Eragon bellowed. "We have yet to hear what our purpose will be if we fly to Gil'ead."

"But of course Eragon. You will be flying for the funeral and burial of your masters."

Saphira, are you there?

Yes little one, I am just returning.

Here, watch this. Eragon sent the memories of the conversation. Well? What do you think?

ERAGON! What kind of question is that. We are going to Gil'ead to bury our masters!

Of course. We shall leave tomorrow. Eragon announced loudly to the room at large. "We have decided that we will leave tomorrow for the burial. Arya and the other elves can follow us on foot but we would like to fly ahead."

"I cannot stop you Eragon, but I see this is important to you. Fly fast and stay safe." Nasuada gave in with a disappointed look on her face. There was a few moments of silence and everyone started to leave.

This also gives us a chance to find Naegling. Master Oromis said there was enough energy to move a mountain!

Okay little one. Get some rest for tomorrow, we fly hard and fast to Gil'ead! Saphira let out a loud roar that was heard throughout the entire campsite. Glaedr's eldunari was glowing.

Thank you Eragon and Saphira. I am most grateful to be able to see my partner having a proper burial amidst these awful times. I shall be over my mourning period after the burial. From then on, I will be able to help you Eragon in whatever you need. Glaedr retracted to the safety of his eldunari and it stopped glowing.

As Eragon walked back to his camp, he was wondering why Arya had been so silent. Saphira, do you know why Arya remained quiet?

Little one, you forget that Master Oromis was practically a father to her after Evandar had passed. Give her some time and she will come around.

Aye, you are right Saphira, like always.At this statement, Saphira felt proud.Would you mind if you fly Arya and myself for part of the journey to Gil'ead. I wish to talk to her. I want to help her pass through this difficult time for she has lost many that she loves. Her father, her love, and now Master. I want her to know that we are here for her.

As you wish little one. We shall tell her tomorrow, but for now, sleep for we need all our strength to fly fast and hard to Gil'ead.

Good night Saphira. Eragon was lying in his cot and quickly fell asleep.

A little early for you guys The next chapter will be a Galby/MxT PoV. By the way, as the story progresses, the chapters will become longer.

This post has been edited by BaneOfGalbatorix: 27 April 2009 - 05:21 PM

[evarya]

That was very good!!!:)
I didnt spot any mistakes.
cant wait till next update

[BaneOfGalbatorix]

Thank you after a few more comments I'll write the next update. I'll try to get in one or two more updates today

[rockrox]

So far very few good chapters. Good for a first time writer, and you can only improve. Though what I do see is that you find a good idea, but then forget it and never mention it again. Also you have some confusing sentences.

such as:

Since we will be divided in two, I have deemed it fit for Roran to lead the other half of the army."

Everyone in the pavillion was left shocked as Roran came in and thanked Nasuada for this promotion. As everyone congratulated him he announced loudly over the crowd. "Thank you Lady Nasuada very much for this chance. I promise you that I will not let you down."

This is not bad, but it confuses me as to why Roran suddenly comes in. And what crowd? Do you mean the one in the tent? Or are they out in the open.

I don't mean these comments to be harsh, but to help further your writing skills. Good luck with the new updates!

[hackingoutofthetrap]

Great start to this story, this will be a great addition to go alongside the other book 4's here.

Master said there was enough energy to move a mountain!

Should be,

Master Oromis, said there was enough energy to move a mountain!

I can't wait to read more.

[The Shadeslayers]

Great Job!

Will there be much ExA soon?
Or are you ExN?
.....ExS?

Please Elaborate

[BaneOfGalbatorix]

Thank you for all the comments. I edited to change the mistakes which you guys have found, And to answer your question Theshadeslayers, it will be ExA. It is going to start with their conversation that they are soon going to have and it will evolve into their relationship. I shall have the next update within a few hours.

[Lord Murphy]

I say that Katrina should be the spy.