The Story of Easter - Inheritance Forums

Once upon a over two thousand years ago there was a man named Jesus, or Jesus of Nazareth, or the Messiah, or Jesus Christ, or the son of god. He had many followers and many believed in him. But one day he was crucified (Friday or Good Friday) and much to the astonishment of his' apostilles he arose from the dead on a sunday (Easter). Now one of his apostilles, Thomas didn't believe it, this is my interpretation of the story:

Jesus walked up to Thomas and tapped him on the back of his shoulder. Thomas then turned around seeing Jesus' face. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed in shock.
"Yes it is me my child, Jesus" he said to Thomas.
"Jesus what are you doing here, you're supposed to be dead" said Thomas.
"Thomas I have arisen from the dead and am going up to my kingdom in heaven" said Jesus tugging on his Mike Piazza facial hair.
"No I do not believe you" said Thomas walking away from Jesus.
"What! Where are you going" Jesus said trying to catch up in his sandals.
"I don't believe you" Thomas said.
"Well here feel the holes in my hands" Jesus said stretching out his palm.
"Okay" Thomas said feeling the hole in Jesus' hand.
"Does that not prove it to you my child?" Jesus asked.
"Eh, you came up with it you could be faking" Thomas said.
"What! How? I have fricken holes in my hands!" Jesus yelled grabbing Thomas by the shoulder and shaking him.
"Still it could be a trick why don't I give you a task" Thomas said.
"Fine" Jesus sighed.
"Now it has to be something completely original." Thomas said.
"Okay.."
"I want you to.." Thomas started. "Crap out a colorful egg and have it hatch with a bunny inside"
"What! No!" said Jesus walking away at a quick pace.
"Yeah you have to!" Thomas yelled chasing after him.
"No! That is sick man real sick" Jesus said pushing Thomas away.
"Oh so you can't do it" Thomas yelled grabbing Jesus' shoulders. But Jesus knocked his hands away and starting walking on top of the water on the reflecting pool. "Oh real mature there Jesus!"
"Haha you just called me Jesus!" said Jesus walking back.
"No I didn't"
"Yes you did"
"No I didn't"
"Yes you did"
"No I didn't"
"Yes you did"
"Fine just lay the damn egg already!" Thomas yelled.
"Okay but after I lay it you must hide it and make sure word of this never gets out" Jesus said. So Jesus went behind a bush and sure enough came back with a pink stripped colorful egg. The egg had his name on it in gold writing.
"Why did you put your name on it?" Thomas asked.
"Dude I just laid a damn colorful egg that will hatch a rabbit, do you really think I was thinking about the specifics of putting my name on it?" They stood in silence for a second...
"Yesssss" Thomas said.
"Well I wasn't go hide the egg. I'm off to heaven you damn Jerk" and with that Jesus walked off. Thomas took the egg and sold it to a man by the name of Arimici faberge and the rest was history. No one exactly knows what happened to the bunny that hatch from that egg. But some believe it mutated do to exposure to sunlight (God's love) and became a giant rabbit. They believe the giant rabbit kills its own kind and then dips them in chocalate giving them away in baskets on Easter morning. But sometimes on Easter morning the bunny takes an innocent child and keeps them for his own purposes (perhaps sexual..). And that is the story og Easter. Happy Easter everyone!

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