[Galbatorixs Nemesis]

Hey guys I'm no pro... but i've written a few poems.. hope you'll like them!!


Solitude,
An emotion crude,
It comes to haunt one,
Unnerving some,
Scaring all,
Making them shout and for help call,


It makes the best of protagonists fear,
What's in store for them as the future nears?
Makes one cry out for help,
Shout and scream, shriek and yelp.
With elapsing times the feeling grows,
Eating at one like hungry crows.
Life as such becomes miserable,
Taking away all that is desirable.


Help! Help! Help!
Shout and scream, shriek and yelp.


Forgetting one and all,
Only to remember that in the end you'll fall.
Love and compassion, kindness and passion,
Become a part of the past that'll never again happen.
Silence everlasting seems to reign,
It moves with you, your energy it drains.


Help! Help! Help!
Shout and scream, shriek and yelp.


But no one comes to your rescue,
The whole world seems to go askew.


So take initiative,
Make your life better,
Share your feelings or in the end,
You'll be the one to suffer,
THE ENDLESS PAIN OF SOLITUDE.


No comments, no more poems!!

This post has been edited by Galbatorixs Nemesis: 14 April 2009 - 03:16 AM

[Africander]

Like I said before, nice poem, keep it up.

[Cecalae x]

Nice work:), I read your other one on ElfElders thread which was also good. I think its great that you use topics that are relatable to people, i'll look for your next update.

[Galbatorixs Nemesis]

Well i've got another one for you:
(it's a little far fetched i know but it's my personal favorite!)



WHAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN MINE !!

I stood at altar of time,

To accept what I had done,

To regret what I hadn't done,

But the blood that coursed through my veins,

Would not be bound in chains,

The confusion was shattering,

My sanity battering.



I looked back helpless,

To see what I had become,

Even though a lot of time had passed since then,

The memories were still as bright as the sun.



Today, I stood at the top of the hill,

Looking back at those plush fields,

Remembering the day we'd met,

Those scary woods that we'd tread.



The four of us had been together,

Bridged across life's various weathers,

Helped each other through sorrow and pain,

Any effort we made never went in vain.



But then came that sad day,

We had to go...................our own way,

We cried and wept,

our eyes wet,



But we knew nothing could be done,

We remembered how we had begun,

We hoped that time would heal,

These wounds deep and surreal.



But now again I stand at the Altar of time,

To see what became mine and what couldn't be mine,

We stand across some miles apart,

The spaces that have torn us from each other part by part.



But then again,

Time played its game,

By a touch of fate,

We met....all the same.



The clouds of misery,

Around dissolved,

The blanket of confusion fell,

My problems solved.



It was a reunion,

I had always dreamt of,

But it would come to light,

I had never thought.



Once again,

I now stand at THE ALTAR OF TIME,

To rejoice, not

for what had become mine,

but, for what

HAD ALWAYS BEEN MINE...
MY FRNZ!!

hope you like it!!

[Africander]

The content is good, the rhyme isn't consistent but that doesn't matter because it suits it. Only thing I would say is the spaced out structure makes it harder to read. Remove the spaces it would be easier to make sense of. Keep writing these are good.

[jack4prez69]

good poem dude

[jack4prez69]

you write my kind of poetry

[jack4prez69]

i used to write amazing poetry off the top of my head

but now i have to work at it


my mind got crowded with algebra

[Africander]

Don't mean to be rude, but the mods will kill you if they see you triple posting or double posting, I'm serious, delete the last 2 and edit your first one to say everything you said in the others.

[Galbatorixs Nemesis]

I hadn't posted it here
so here goes another one


A CUB NO LONGER!!

I was wandering in the world…

Thinking......

Remembering the day…

when I had been sinking,

Into a river full of evil.

When my mother came and pulled me out

She protected me in and out

I sat....

Remembering the carefree life I had

I did not know what was to be sad

My life was filled with comfort and leisure

All I had was happiness and pleasure

When I wept the household shook

But now not even one person looks

I miss my mothers consoling hand

Upon my head like a magic wand

I miss those lovely birthday treats

Those gifts and presents and loads of sweets

The new things which my father bought

From classy shoes to beautiful dolls

I remember my sister’s sly grin

whenever I used to enter in

I knew she had played a prank

For this was her habitual plan

Then we used to screech and shout

Till my mom sent I of us out

Now remembering those days…

Are fond memories of mine.

I may be older and much stronger

I regret being A CUB NO LONGER.

This post has been edited by Galbatorixs Nemesis: 21 April 2009 - 05:26 AM

[Cecalae x]

Great poem. Once again, really cool topic:). I dont have anything against yours and jack4prez69's ''type'' of poetry, but it would be cool if you tried something different perhaps?
I like to do that sometimes, its very refreshing to do something new, espesially with poetry, It helps me get inspiation.

[potter573]

This is seriously some good poetry. Okay I couldn't understand what you meant here:
But now not even I person looks
Maybe you need to edit this line.

[Survival]

The first one's okay, but I really like the last two....

[Galbatorixs Nemesis]

Thanks. It's good to know at least someone thinks i write well!! The last one's my favourite!!

[potter573]

Please do read the rules about "Signatures". You are allowed to have a six line long signature. Yours is much longer.

The last was interesting. You did evoke a few things in me with it.