[MooMoose]

A/N [Auther's Note] - This is my first Twilight fanfiction. Take it easy on me please? The time setting is three years after Breaking Dawn.

Chapter One

Junaeu, Alaska

I stared at the ground. It was cold and hard. Just like my life. Maybe I should just die here. Hell, maybe I should just kill myself, I though, tears streaking down my already-muddy face. I didn't want to remember that night. But how could you avoid thinking about your family's death?

I can still hear them scream.

I had just gotten home from a date with the hottest guy in the school, Tyler Williams. I walked up the steps, waving goodbye to him. As soon as I opened the heavy wooden door, I knew something was wrong.

Every day for the past three years, my dogs, Chase and Blue, had always bounced up and down, barking and yipping, when they heard one of us was home. They then proceeded to get up in your face and put their muddy paws on your clothes. Where were they?

Then I heard the screaming. Piercing, heartwrenching screaming. "Mom? Dad?" I asked, panicked. "David? Drake?" Where were they? As if in a dream, I ran through the house, trying to find the source of the screaming.

I ran until my sides hurt. Finally, I found them. My mother, my father, my two little brothers, all piled in a heap in The Window Room. And one hideously pale demon. She looked up as I entered, a smile twisiting her beautiful, cruel face. But then she turned back to little David without a second glance at me. The walls were painted with blood, the huge windows the room was named after were spotted with it.

I tried to scream, tried to run, but I couldn't. I stood there as she sucked the life out of little Davie.

"You must be Devon," the pale witch said as she tossed David onto the floor carelessly. I heard is bones crack as he slid to the wall from the momentum and smashed into it. "You know, they were talking about you." She smirked, and added, "They were tasty. My compliments."

And with that, she left.

Just like that.

I hid my face in the sleeves on my brown Hollister hoodie. My back was to a tree. The bark was rough on my back. I wished I would die, then and there. Because I wouldn't give up and let the demons kill more humans. But they were mythical creatures. They were "out of my league". How could I kill something I hadn't known was real until three months ago?

I sat there in the snow and let the memories surround me. Checking the bodies; yes, all dead. Burying the bodies. Last goodbyes. Running from the house, running from the city, boarding a plane and flying from the state.

For the past couple of months, I'd been trying to live the normal life of a fifteen-year-old girl. But when I heard of recent killings near Juneau, where I'd been hiding, I knew that I could never just forget about the demon.

I was out to kill their kind, no matter what cost.

A/N - Okay, what do you guys think? It's a little slow-going but I'm just trying to ease into it and all. Please critique, I want to know what can make it a better story!

This post has been edited by MooMoose: 12 September 2009 - 03:19 PM

[whereisbook4]

Ohh, a new Helsing. Awesome. Can't wait for when he tries to kill Bella. And Edward. And Carlise. And Rosa. And Emmet. And Jasper. Just keep Esme, Alice, and Renesmee in this.

[MooMoose]

Actually, it's a she, but yeah, killing Rosalie will definitely be fun ... >:]
I guess I should edit and mention she's a girl.
EDIT: Oh, wait, I kind of did have that in there, when she says "...date with the hottest guy in the school".
Maybe I should still mention that she's not a gay guy.

This post has been edited by MooMoose: 10 May 2009 - 03:52 PM

[FriendofElves]

Who killed the family?

[MooMoose]

A vampire. She doesn't know who it is.


Okay I have a question:

CHAPTER IMAGES OR NOT?

A chapter image is pretty much just a picture at the neginning of each chapter with one or more of the charactors from the chapter on it.
If no one responds I'll just not put chapter images up. =]

Chapter Two

When I woke up it was snowing. What a surprise, I thought sarcastically. Groggily, I stretched; of course I couldn't fall back asleep, because it was hard, cold, and lumpy, and because I'd always had insomnia. So I decided I'd better get something to eat. Beyond that, I was really just making it up as I went along. No plans, so far.

Devon Marie Evans. Creepy-Sh!t Demon-Thing Hunter. Name fits me nicely, I thought with dark humour. Now, where to get food? I wondered. Then I spotted a bush full of beautiful, bright red berries. I know you should never eat unidentified wild berries, but right now, I didn't care if they were poisonous and killed me. I was starved.

So I took a bit of the luminous red berry. It tasted... good. Hmm...

Soon I was full. Find something to eat, check. What was next on my list? I finally decided that I must find some sort of civilisation, because, let's face it, I can't live off berries forever. Besides, my parents would have wanted me to get an education, at least until I kill the creature that murdered, no, made a meal out of them.

I walked through the knee-deep snow until I finally reached a highway. Shivering, I stuck my thumb up.

I guess not many cars came this way. After two minutes of waiting, I almost gave up. I started trudging through the snow, again when suddenly a car pulled up behind me. "Need a ride?" I nodded and hurried back to the car.

It was a Mercedes. I didn't know much about cars, but this was the kind of car that Drake had always wanted. A pang of pain went through my body as I relived that night.

Opening the door, I saw the tan face of a boy about my age peering up at me. I nodded towards him, settling in. He grinned back at me, but once he saw the look on my face, he quit smiling and started the car up again.

"So your name's Devon?" he asked. I looked up, startled. "Your pants," he smiled at my confusion. I looked down and realised that the pants I was wearing were the ones my friends had scribbled on all the time at school.

I ♥ Yeww! ~ Chelsee!!
Lexie Luvs Yaa!
DEVON IS AWESOME! (Karie says Hi!)
I {Hearts} you, Devon!
Chom. Chomp. Chomp. [You know who]
Kaitlinn Marie loves you!
Alison Loves Devon
Devi Rocks My Socksies! ~ Kiera

These were only a few of the messages that littered my jeans. But he had mispronounced it, like so many people. "Yeah," I said, "but it's not DEV-in, it's Duh-VON."

Tan-Guy smiled. "Cool, I'm Collin." I just realised something. We're in Alaska. How is this guy so tan?

he must have read my mind, because he said, "Oh, I'm not from around here. Yeah, I get that alot. I come here every summer. My grandfather lives in Juneau."

"Oh, I'm headed towards Juneau!" I said, cupping my hands in front of the heater.

"That's good," Collin replied absentmindedly. He cranks up some rap song and yawns. "God, I'm tired..."

"Where are you from, anyway?" I ask him.

"Over there," he pointed to his left.

"Oh, I didn't know it was a sunny place," I said sarcastically. Collin laughed.

"I'm half Indian. I tan easier than Hell."

I nodded, not really interested. I was still wondering what I would do when I reached Juneau.

A/N - Yes, still slow, but hang in there, next chapter will be faster-paced, hopefully. Next chapter up as soon as someone posts.

This post has been edited by MooMoose: 12 May 2009 - 04:32 PM

[Chris99]

I like your fanfic. Come on, post the next chapter!

[evarya]

Cool chapter..Your story is interesting..
Looking forward to more !!!..
I hope you post again soon...

One question though..Are the Cullens and the wolves going to be in this at all ?..Or is this just about Devon?

Like I said before Awsome book so far..

Peace ~Ev~

This post has been edited by evarya: 13 May 2009 - 02:01 PM

[alagaesia hobbit]

Uhm, I have a feeling this Collin is the werewolf mentioned in Breaking Dawn...

[evarya]

Uhm, I have a feeling this Collin is the werewolf mentioned in Breaking Dawn...

Oh yea I forgot about him..

[MooMoose]

It looks like Alagaesia Hobbit answered your question already. =]

Chapter Three

Collin's Mercedes rolled into a long driveway. In spite of the heater in his car, I was shivering. Collin glanced at me. "You look cold," he commented.

"And y-you're n-n-not?" I retorted as sarcastically as I could with my madly chattering teeth. Collin laughed. I didn't really see what was funny, but whatever.

"Hey, do you want to come inside?" Collin asked generously.

We were parking now. "W-what, into your g-grandfather's igloo?" I looked up and saw a huge house -- almost a mansion, but not quite -- in front of us. "Oh, wow."

"Yeah. Alaska's not full of igloos anymore." He shook his head in mock sadness.

This annoyed me. "Whatever."

"Coming? Or do you want me to drop you off first?" I looked up. Collin had his hand on the car keys, waiting for my answer.

"Um, I don't have any money for a hotel..." I trailed off, embarassed. I never ask anyone for help.

"You can stay here. I'm sure Granddad wouldn't mind. He loves having guests." Collin smiled and rolled his eyes, cutting the engine.

"Wait, I really can't -- "

Collin made a shh! signal, his finger to his lips, and opened the car door. Sure has a way with words, I thought, and almost smiled. The kid wasn't too bad after all.

I guess I couldn't call Collin a kid. He was tan and lean. He wasn't tall, but what he lacked in size he made up for in muscle. He wasn't huge, in fact he was very slender, but you could tell about half his body weight was muscle.

"Coming?" Collin chuckled, noticing me apprasing him. I blushed and stared at the ground, walking past him up the steps. He was still howling with laughter.

"You know what, one day your face is going to freeze that way!" I yelled over my shoulder, barging into the house.

A man with an old facem but young, shockingly vibrant blue eyes, turned to look at me. Suddenly, I remembered that the grandfather wouldn't know who I was. "Oh, sorry," I said, a red blush covering my face for the second time since I left the car.

Collin came in after me. "Hey, Granddad! This is Duh-VON," he emphasized me name. Jerk. "She's gonna be staying with us for a while."

Collin's grandfather reached out a withered hand and grapsed mine in it. He may have looked old, but he was still strong, I noted. "I am Yuma Wapi."

A/N - A little less slow? Try to guess what Yuma Wapi means! ^.^

[Chris99]

I didn't spot any great mistake and the pace is fine, but you should make your chapters longer.

When are you going to update?

This post has been edited by Chris99: 29 May 2009 - 12:15 PM

[Roarscream]

It's good material...

I like the pace, the movement, the flow is all great. I thought that it could have used a little more explanation in how she got to the point where she was in the middle of Alaska. Not many teenage girls could, after having their family killed, go to Alaska and start living on their own. I'd like to see how she got to that point.

However, it's pretty easy to do that in a later draft, in the second draft you could include more background to how she got to that point in the first section (post). Or you could reveal it through various memory scenes throughout the story. Either way, it should be okay. You'll be just fine.

Can't wait to see the next part. It's really good so far.

EDIT: oh i see you haven't posted here in a while. well if you get back into it, you should continue it its good!

This post has been edited by Roarscream: 01 June 2009 - 12:31 PM

[hayley]

Great story, and your pace is fine. Could the chapter be a bit longer though please?

And what does Yuma Wapi mean?
Werewolf?

Update!

[MooMoose]

Actually, "Wapi" means lucky. And a Yuma is a son of a chief. Ooooh Collin's realated to an Indian Chief!
Actually, I haven't been updating cause I was waiting for some peeps to post! Now that you've posted, I can update! Oh happy day!
So... This Chapter = Lotsa Fluff
So Chappie images or not?

Chapter Four

What was I doing here? Sleeping in the guest-bedroom of a stranger and his grandpa. Nice. I always was one for being irresponsible. What would Mom say? "Dev, that was very, VERY irresponsible. They could be complete weirdos! You don't know anything about them!" She would rant for about a half an hour, take away my cellphone, and ground me from going anywhere for a month.


I missed her so much.


I got up to go get some milk. I figured they wouldn't mind, and anyway, I needed it. It was the only thing, other than medicine, which I hated, that helped with my insomnia.


"Hey."


I spun around to see Colin lying on the couch, staring at me. I blushed. "Why are you out here?" I asked. I'd gone to the guest bedroom without any dinner. I didn't feel like imposing on their hospitality or anything.


"Attempting to sleep," he smiled, rolling over and turnign his back to me. Okay, Mr. Smiles-A-Lot. Jeez.


"Wait, what?" I asked, feeling guilty. "Did I take your room?"


"It's okay, I offered it."


"Yeah, but - "


"Seriously."


"You can have it," I mumbled. "I don't need to sleep on a bed. I used to sleep on the couch at home a lot." This was true, but not because I wanted to. Mostly because my bed was hard and lumpy and I hated it so much that even a couch was better.


Collin didn't answer me. After a few minutes, I realised that he was snoring. Sighing, I went to get milk out of the kitchen.


***


"Bye, Collin," I said. It was seven in the morning. I hadn't been meaning to wake anyone up, but of course, Collin was awake anyway. Who's awake at seven in the morning during summer break, I ask you?


"You're leaving?" he asked, sitting up.


"I have to go," I confirmed.


"At least take a shower," Collin said, nodding towards my brown hair, which was stuck up in some places, and in others, lying flat against my head. Ah, the joys of sleeping outside.


"Fine," I said. I really did need a shower, and anyway, twenty more minutes here couldn't hurt anything.


The shower took longer than I thought. The water felt so good. As I stepped out of the bath tub, though, I noticed that there weren't any towel racks. I opened a closet. There were no towels, but a letter fluttered out. I bent to picked it up, and one word popped out at me.


Vampire.



AN - As I said, mostly fluff. What will happen next? Post quick, I really wanna update! Oooh so excited xD

[HJP]

Wow, I'm seriously in suspense wondering what the heck is going on and which of the original characters are involved. You captured the werewolf personality well, and Devon looks like an interesting character, good job, and please keep writing!