[EragonwithArya]

Ok...I decided to make my own poem thread.

Here is my newest,and most original poem



Moonlit Walk

The Moon lights my path,as I walk the winding way.
The Sun guides my lost soul,as I walk the blind path.
Mother Earth gives my a place,to call my home.
Father God gives me a life,to live to the fullest.
Father Time gives me time,to do with as I will.

The Moon guides my lost soul,with the light of purity it emites on to us.
The Sun gives me light to walk in as I walk my way.
Mother Earth gives me love,to call my own.
Father God gives me wisdom,to use to it's advantage.
Father Time gives me time,to walk my way.

And as I follow the winding way,
The Moon lights my path,
On my Moonlit walk.

This post has been edited by EragonwithArya: 16 July 2009 - 03:10 AM

[gabriella]

(Y) Veryyy niceee bud, the improvements helped small details always make a difference Ive already given you my feedback on this one.....SO...Hope to see more!!

<333(O.o)

[EragonwithArya]

Good and bad news.
Good news:I am going to get one oooold poem in here.
Bad news:I am not gonna be here tomorow or the weekend.

And thanks gabriella!

Here is the oldest poem I have in my posession.



Stones


Garnets are red.
Sapphires are blue.
I would much rather have a stone.
Than you.


Yes,that was a very short poem.I know.But I wrote that when I was 5 and it is the oldest one I could find,and it is my favorite,so I used it.



Comment away!

This post has been edited by EragonwithArya: 18 June 2009 - 11:59 AM

[SwordofTruth]

Good and bad news.
Good news:I am going to get one oooold poem in here.
Bad news:I am not gonna be here tomorow or the weekend.

And thanks gabriella!

Here is the oldest poem I have in my posession.



Stones


Garnets are red.
Sapphires are blue.
I would much rather have a stone.
Than you.


Yes,that was a very short poem.I know.But I wrote that when I was 5 and it is the oldest one I could find,and it is my favorite,so I used it.



Comment away!

Haha, that made me laugh, I don't know why.

The flow is uneven, but I don't see any way to fix that, but for a five year old, great job!

[EragonwithArya]

LOL.Thank you,and yes,thwe flow is very uneven.
But most of my poems are actually when i was 5-8 years old.And I wrote the exact same way then.
And I am glad it made you laugh,but probably because it is insulting someone by saying you don't wanna be with them unless they were a stone<or stoned>....LOLz.

[EragonwithArya]

Ok,I have little inspiration for this one,and this is only part of the entire poem.Rather that,or there is four parts to this poem.

Part One:
Razgriz
Amidst the eternal waves of time,
From a ripple of change shall the storm arise,
From the Abyss peers the eyes of a demon.
Behold,Razgriz wings of black sheath,has arisen.

Reason of EDIT:A few changes to the lines.

This post has been edited by EragonwithArya: 22 June 2009 - 07:52 PM

[Arcane]

You're quite a writer EwidA>> Update soon with the second part of the poem!!

[EragonwithArya]

I am back,and in a few days to a week(maybe,at the most)I will have the second and/or third part.


And thanks,Arcane!

[EragonwithArya]

Part Two is ready!

Part Two:Demon
The demon soars through the darken skies,
Fear and death trailing it's black shadow,
Until the men,united,weild the hallowed sabre.
In final of reckoning,the demon is slain.

Comment away.

This post has been edited by EragonwithArya: 22 June 2009 - 07:51 PM

[evarya]

Wow you are very good at poetry EWA..

[EragonwithArya]

Thank you.I use poetry writing as my way of staying away from things.For example,when doing poetry I am not on the Forum Games,spaming it up with my input.
I will have the third part soon.Maybe a week or maybe just a few days,but I will have it soon.

[Arcane]

Great>>> Put both the parts together so that there's a continuous flow!! I love the way you express yourself in this part.
Very nice

[EragonwithArya]

Once I have at least the four main parts of this,I am going to add more and more..
And when I find old poems and stuff,I also wil post them here,but REMEMBER!This was when I was like 5 or 6 and didn't know ANY English(No,I am not American.In fact,I am actually Mexican but can't speak barely a sentence or two in Espanol,let alone punctuate it right.LOL.) for the older poems.

[gabriella]

VERY NICE I liked the imagery, and it flowed quite nicely You need to glue it all together to get your full poem goingg!! Can't wait for the third part


<333(O.o)

[EragonwithArya]

I have completely fixed my third installment of the poems.

Part Three:Blood and Madness
As the Demon sleeps,man turns on man.
His own blood and madness soon cover the Earth.
From the depths of despair,awaken the Razgriz.
It's raven wings ablaze in majestic light.

This post has been edited by EragonwithArya: 01 July 2009 - 08:18 PM