[Indiff3r3nc3]

I wrote this at my friend's house. I just thought I'd share. Reveiw plz? For Mikahhh?

Dark

I'm in the dark,
Because I'm alone,
I'm lost,
and no one knows.

In fright, I run,
But I run in place,
Stuck in a same
stilled pace.

I see a light,
But it's so far,
And there's no point
To run for an eternity long.

I'm just a memory,
faded from time,
a ghost,
Lost in your eyes.

[gabriella]

Hi my name is gabriella, im a fellow poet, and if you'd like have a look at my hot topic in poetry cafe, the link is in my signature....

So even though your topic name isnt too inviting, I decided to take a look.
And i'd love to know, what makes you a poet?

About your poem, well, its short and its simple, is this your first?...
Id like to say that as a poem, which is an elongated metaphor, as im sure you know, your poem I believe is about love? no? Love is such a broad emotion and its so raw, your poem is simple to explain it, love can be plain and simple yes, but try to really add some emotion into it.

As for flow, it would bemuch better if you decided to make this a "legit" poem. Poems stick to rhyming patterns, you started off great...but then you started a different pattern and your flow was lost.
You had:

A
B
C
D

then you switched to:

A
B
C
B

then continued with

A
B
C
D

This is not a good habit, and it surprises me as you are a poet to make a mistake like this, I look forward to seeing more new and improved work. Thanksss for the topic!!

[Revenge]

Hey gabrielle, you sound like a first grade professor with the worst grammar I've ever seen.

This poem however left me feeling nothing. It just felt like words stuck together, sure they made sense, but you were only TELLING me what you were feeling. I want to see it! Imagery is your friend, use it. -slaps- =]