Light and Shadows, Book IV, Chapter 16: Battle Along the River, up as of 8/15! (ExA) Rating Options

[SwordofTruth]

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1: A Forced Decision
Chapter 2: Dance of the Shadeslayers
Chapter 3: An Act of Desperation
Chapter 4: A Lesson in Magic
Chapter 5: Proposition
Chapter 6: So Close...
Chapter 7: A City In Ruins
Chapter 8: A Dangerous Deed
Chapter 9: Dragon and Werecat
Chapter 10: A Gift
Chapter 11: Arya's Departure
Chapter 12: Wyrd Eom Aftaka
Chapter 13: The Slave Market
Chapter 14: A Man to Man Talk
Chapter 15: Enemies Along the River
Chapter 16: Battle Along the River
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Here is my first attempt at a fan-fiction, and I hope it goes well.

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Chapter 1: A Forced Decision

Visions swirled around in Nasuada's mind like a fierce storm as she slept. Fire greedily ate and destroyed everything in its path. In the red and orange flames, the shape of a deep, blood-red dragon appeared, only to disappear as a Shade with bright crimson hair replaced it. Her dream shifted once more, and an image of Elva sitting down by a lake clouded her mind. Her sly violet eyes stared into her palms, and her midnight-black hair hung in a mess around her face. In one palm, a brilliant blue pebble rested, in the other, a dark black pebble. An emerald green leaf then fell upon her head.

Nasuada's eyes tore open. Only a few moments of peace and calm lasted until nausea and worry coursed through her veins and knotted her stomach. Her troubles and work never ended. The battle of Feinster had been a tough battle, with heavy casualties on both sides, and now she had to prepare her troops to march across the Empire to Belatona.

Yet Nasuada's dreams aroused another worry, Elva. She hadn't seen the mysterious girl in a while. Last time she had been in her presence, Elva looked to be about six years old, while she wasn't even close to two years old. Her age wasn't the problem, however her loyalties were. She had made it quite clear when Eragon removed her curse that she was uncontrollable. Today she might be trying to help the Varden, while tomorrow she might decide to destroy the Varden and their leaders.

She must decide her where her loyalties lie! Thought Nasuada. She could be a great help to the Varden, and a terrible foe. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Angela the herbalist walked in, with Farica, Nasuada's maid, at her heels.

"Greetings Lady Nightstalker," Angela smiled. "What a lovely name. It's mysterious and powerful, yet graceful and cunning. It sounds like something I would come up with."

"Hello Angela, Farica." mumbled Nasuada, half-interested. Farica walked over to Nasuada, lifting off her clothes, and replacing them with a lovely dark blue gown, sleeves cut off short.

"Let me dress your cuts." inquired Angela. Before Nasuada could complain or disagree, her cuts felt almost nonexistent, Angela had already whipped out her materials and spread them out on the table.

"Angela-" started Nasuada, an idea forming in her mind. "Would you happen to know where Elva is?"

Angela paused her work to look up curiously at Nasuada. "Why sudden interest in the girl?" she asked.

"Stop answering my question with another question, do you know where Elva is?" Nasuada asked again, getting angry and frustrated.

"In fact I do, what is it to you?" stated Angela.

"I need to talk with her, and desperately." retorted Nasuada. "Could you lead me to her?"

"It is in my ability to do so, so to answer your question, I could. As to if I will lead, you, that is another matter."

Rolling her eyes, Nasuada responded with "Angela, may you please lead me to Elva?"

"I would be delighted to!" Angela beamed, finishing up on Nasuada's last cut. "I doubt Elva will be as eager to see you."

"I wasn't planning on it really." smiled Nasuada. "I do need to stop by and get Eragon and Arya, I would like them to be with me as I talk to Elva."

"Well, we can't stand here talking all day." Angela laughed. She started walking off out of the tent, and immediately started indulging in a conversation about the possibilities of the meaning of an oddly shaped cloud. Nasuada's six guards followed close behind.

Nasuada paused at Eragon's tent, then took a deep breath, and walked in. She found Eragon and Arya sitting close together on a soft pallet, silently enjoying each others presence in their mourning of Glaedr and Oromis. Saphira's head poked in, resting on the floor.

Nasuada coughed, and Arya turned around, her raven black hair flying as her face turned. "Nasuada." she nodded towards her.

She quickly explained her idea to Eragon and Arya, asking if they would accompany her. They both agreed, and stepped up, all following Angela. Saphira took a great leap and soared overhead.

"And that's why you shouldn't eat cheese on the left side of your mouth." explained Angela as they reached Elva's quarters.

"Oh great, visitors." came a voice from inside, undoubtedly Elva's. As to how she knew they were there, Nasuada had no idea, but followed everyone else inside.

Elva faced everyone, her violet eyes absorbing every detail. Nasuada swore she looked even older than last time she had seen her. She wondered if she would ever stop growing at an alarming pace, or if it would ever mellow out.

After a few awkward sentences of silence, Nasuada broke it by getting Elva's attention. "Elva" she started. Violet eyes turned towards her. A chill ran down Nasuada's spine. "Listen to us, and listen well."

Elva smirked as Nasuada continued. She didn't know how else to begin the conversation, so she threw herself straight into the heart of what she felt. "Elva, you need to choose your loyalties, whether to the Varden or to the Empire."

"And why should I do that?" Elva asked sarcastically, fondling her slightly curly hair. She seemed bored and full of energy.

"Because you could be a terrific help to the Varden, and a huge foe. We can't live with your uncertainty." sneered Nasuada. "I would love it if you sided with us, but if you decide to side with the Empire and help Galbatorix, we need to know."

"But if I give you my decision on whether to help or hinder you, I loose my advantage." Elva retorted. "If I tell you that I side with the Varden, my work would never end. I know what you want me for, Nasuada, and I don't like it. I'm a little girl. However, if I side with the Empire, you will no doubt try to kill me. I know your every weakness Nasuada, your fears and your worries. Every one of you in hear is at a disadvantage here, except maybe Saphira."

Getting more and more frustrated by the minute, Nasuada tried a different approach. She looked Elva right in the eye and said "Do you truly hate anybody in this room?"

Elva paused for a moment, looking each person over. "Not quite. But I have reasons to dislike a lot of you. Eragon, you cursed me and took away what would have been a normal life. Nasuada, you used me as your pet, guarding you, and you still want to use me in dangerous situations. I can see it in your eyes. Only Angela has shown me true kindness, and Saphira gave me the mark upon my brow, for which I am thankful for. No, I do not truly hate either of you, but I do not truly love either of you also."

"We have provided you with shelter." Nasuada started. "You are fed, clothed, and taken care of by Angela and a few others. I believe we have shown you kindness, kindness that you would never find if you joined the Empire."

Elva gave Nasuada a crooked smile. "But I would be of so much more use for the Empire. I know many of the Varden's secrets. And as you already know, I know all your fears and weaknesses. The Empire would worship me for all the information I could give about Eragon."

"Elva!" yelled Angela. "How could you think such evil thoughts. Galbatorix would use you to no end, forcing you to swear loyalty in the Ancient Language, taking away your free will. At least here you can do what you please, without being forced to do things."

"But what would you have me do, Nasuada?" asked Elva. "You say I could be of great use, but all I could tell you is weaknesses, I am not a physical threat, only a mental one. I would have much more power if I were to switch sides with the Empire."

"So power is what you are after?" asked Nasuada.

"Not quite, I'm just doing what I can do to end the war as quickly as possible. Even though I only see peoples' pains of my own wish, sometimes it can be too great. Once the war is over I will truly be at peace."

"And what if we could help you become a physical threat?" asked Eragon, speaking up for the first time.

"How could you do that?" Elva asked. "I am too small and weak to carry any weapon but a dagger, but even still I cannot be trained to be a warrior."

"Physical strength isn't just limited to carrying a sword and shield." Eragon responded.

"Could you teach me magic?" Elva asked with a gleam in her eye.

"Wait a minute." Nasuada interrupted. "If Eragon teaches you magic, then can you promise to side with the Varden?"

"I'm not making any promises." started Elva. "But if Eragon teaches me magic, I would be more willing, to put it lightly. One conversation cannot decide my loyalties, Lady Nasuada."

"Elva," Eragon said in almost a whisper. "I will try my best to teach you magic. You may not be able to be able to use magic, but I will try my best. I owe you for my accidental curse. I am in your debt, and I will repay you with this."

"Wonderful." Elva stood up, leaving her tent, laughing madly.

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Comment and critique to your liking. I'll take any advice and criticism.

This post has been edited by SwordofTruth: Aug 15 2009, 08:13 PM

[Tyler Durden]

Wow, this was really good. The story flowed really well and the dialogue was interesting.
I am looking forward to chapter 2.

[Purgatory]

I'm also quite interested in how this continues - I haven't seen many fanfics focusing on Elva much (although in all fairness, I haven't read that many fanfics... I"m quite picky )

I like this one quite a bit though - perhaps you're trying to put too many things in there though... Like how you had Angela tell one of her weird things (with the cheese in the left side of the mouth) - while adding such a thing definitely gives the story more enjoyment, it doesn't quite cut it to put just one sentence in there (or at least for me it didn't really, I had to read it twice to realise that it was somewhat of a joke, making it quite a bit less funny, perhaps you could make it like a one-sided conversation (Angela talking) for a bit longer - or leave it out)

That's really just a small suggestion, and truly the only criticism I've got for you, which says something

Great work, I'm looking forward to the next update!

[SwordofTruth]

I'm also quite interested in how this continues - I haven't seen many fanfics focusing on Elva much (although in all fairness, I haven't read that many fanfics... I"m quite picky )

I like this one quite a bit though - perhaps you're trying to put too many things in there though... Like how you had Angela tell one of her weird things (with the cheese in the left side of the mouth) - while adding such a thing definitely gives the story more enjoyment, it doesn't quite cut it to put just one sentence in there (or at least for me it didn't really, I had to read it twice to realise that it was somewhat of a joke, making it quite a bit less funny, perhaps you could make it like a one-sided conversation (Angela talking) for a bit longer - or leave it out)

That's really just a small suggestion, and truly the only criticism I've got for you, which says something

Great work, I'm looking forward to the next update!

I'm glad you like it. And the thing about Angela, with the cheese thing, I didn't want to go into detail, but I love her craziness so I just stuck it in there. Obviously she had been talking about it beforehand, and that was her conclusion statement.

I've written part of Chapter 2 and will hopefully post it later today. The name of the chapter is probably going to be: Dance of the Shadeslayers.

[SwordofTruth]

Here's Chapter two!
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Chapter 2: Dance of the Shadeslayers

Eragon and Arya poured all of their concentration onto the brilliant, shimmering golden object, about one foot in diameter. Only two days had passed since the battle of Feinster and the death of Oromis and Glaedr, but still no contact could be made with the deceased golden dragon through his Eldunari.

Their deaths still lay heavy on Eragon’s heart. Oromis and Glaedr had shown kindness and love to Eragon and Saphira. They were their true mentors, and one of the most intellectual, knowledgeable, and brave people he knew. It still was hard to believe that he would never return to the Crags of Tel’naeír and read scrolls, practice Rigmar, and learn about secrets of magic.

Eragon reached his mind toward the Eldunari, desperately trying to talk with Glaedr. The only thing Eragon found was flashes of memories, sorrow, and grief. Glaedr had enclosed himself deep within his consciousness, refusing to talk with anybody.

“I still can’t talk to him.” Eragon sighed.

Arya turned her attention to Eragon, and with a hint of frustration, spoke “You of al people should know how upset he is. His body has perished, and so has Oromis. He is stuck with only his consciousness and without the comfort of his other half. The bond between him and Oromis ran deeper than you and Saphira have ever achieved. He will talk when he is ready, and you should respect his decision.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” asked Eragon. He was angered with Arya’s words, but couldn’t bring himself to be mad at her, or even yell at her. He knew how Glaedr felt. Even imagining a life without Saphira scared Eragon, and a chill down his spine.

“We just need Glaedr’s help more than ever.” Eragon said after a minute of silence. “I have no idea how long his state may last, it could drive him insane. I only hope this ends soon.”

“I completely agree, Eragon, you know I do.” Arya said in a hollow voice. She looked into Eragon’s eyes. Eragon’s heart skipped a beat, and blood rushed to his face. Looking into her emerald green eyes reminded reinforced his feeling of pure love and dedication towards her. Eragon was just about to say something, when Arya interrupted. “We need to get out minds off of past troubles, and think about the future.”

“Aye.” said Eragon. “Would you like to spar, fellow Shadeslayer?” he asked with a grin on his face.

Arya smiled back at him. Eragon loved her smile, and wished he could see her smile forever, along with her laugh. “I accept your invitation, Eragon Shadeslayer, but I am not worthy of the title.”

“Nonsense,” scoffed Eragon. “Then I do not deserve it either. You were the one who distracted Durza for me.”

“And you were the one who restrained Varaug, and gave me the chance to stab him through the heart.” argued Arya. “We both helped each other.”

Arya nodded in agreement and stood up, clasping her sword to her belt, walked out into the open sun. Eragon followed close behind, admiring the graceful way she walked. For a few minutes they walked together, side by side, until they reached an open clearing not too far away from the towering walls of Feinster.

For a while, all was quiet except for the occasional chirp of cry of a bird. Eragon stole a quick look up in the sky and saw Saphira circling overhead, waiting in amusement for the spar to begin. Eragon refrained from making contact from her, worrying that it would distract him from the fight that had yet to start.

Eragon’s attention focused back on Arya. She had drawn her sword, the light reflecting off it hurt his eyes. He drew out Brisingr, the beauty of it still amazing him, and stood ready in a battle pose.

In a blink of an eye Arya transformed from a calmly standing elf, to a fierce, attacking warrior. She leaped gracefully but powerfully toward Eragon. He easily sidestepped Arya’s advance and immediately stuck at Arya, beginning the fight.

Eragon was grateful for a challenge in swordfight for once. During the battle of Feinster he slashed, stabbed, and swung his sword with ease, with every warrior at his mercy, because nobody could match his speed and strength. Arya provided Eragon an excellent challenge.

As they fought, Eragon’s mind drifted back towards his first spar with Arya, in Farthen Dûr. Back then he wasn’t nearly as experience, and the fight had lasted a short time. Arya hadn’t even fought to the best of her abilities back then, and he had still ran out of energy. He was amused at how much his body had changed, no longer did he tire in only a few minutes.

Snapping back into reality, Eragon made another advance towards Arya and lunged at her sword with the flat side of Brisingr. The force of his blow would have completely disarmed a human soldier, or even broken a wrist, but it only managed to move Arya’s sword hand down an inch or so.

As Arya and Eragon exchanged blows, a sense of calm washed over Eragon. The sounds of clanging sword on sword eventually settled in his mind, becoming a rhythmic melody.

Eragon didn’t know how long he had been fighting, but it felt like an hour at least. Sweat ran down his brow heavily, likewise with Arya, but neither was determined to give up.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eragon say a group of about a dozen soldiers watching in amazement at the sight of the fight. With a grin, Eragon leaped into the air, rising over ten feet in the air, and flipped over Arya, landing on her opposite side. Awe radiated from the growing group of spectators.

“Show-off.” Arya said in a quick breath. “Just wait until they this.” Arya then leaped into the air, flipping backward and adding graceful twists. Once she landed she ran with unmatched speed in Eragon’s direction, swinging her sword wildly.

Eragon blocked her blow with a flick of his wrist, then jumped sideways, striking at Arya’s side. His sword only met air, for Arya was in the air once again, her sword driving down in his direction.

For another long while Eragon and Arya fought each other, adding more leaps and flair to their battle. By then a crowd of over fifty had arrived to watch the spectacle.
Another hour passed before Eragon started feeling sore and tired. His arm felt heavy from the many blows given and received. Looking to end the fight, he searched hard for a break in Arya’s defenses.

After a few minutes, Eragon found the opening he was looking for. As Arya stabbed in Eragon’s direction, Eragon ducked down quickly, and at the same time knocking Arya’s sword out of her hand with a mighty and powerful swing. It was one too many blows for Arya, and Eragon put his sword up to Arya’s neck.

“Do you surrender, Arya Dröttningu?” Eragon asked, triumph rushing through his veins.

“Yes, Eragon Bromsson,” Arya responded hesitantly. “I surrender.”

Nicely done, little one. Saphira’s voice sounded in his head. You have grown much since your fist spar with Brom, to think you received bruises from those sticks!

Aye, but I was fighting Brom, a master of the sword. Eragon said back.

I wonder what he would say if he saw you now. Saphira wondered. Eragon let that thought dwell, a pang of sadness and sorrow filling his heart.

Eragon turned around, and saw his cousin Roran, jogging in his direction. “That is the most brilliant and spectacular sight I have ever seen, my cousin” he said, laughing and tossing his messy hair back. “Bards are already composing songs and epics about this event. The Dance of the Shadeslayers they are calling it!”

“That has a nice ring to it.” Eragon admitted. “But I don’t think our spar is worthy of being written about. Brawls more impressive than this have happened before.”

“No humans could say that of themselves.” Roran smiled. “We have seen a battle unlike any other. Be proud of your accomplishment!”

“Wonderful swordsmanship, Eragon.” Arya interrupted. “Galbatorix will be in for a rude awakening when he fights you. He should fear the day when he comes face to face with Eragon Shadeslayer and his mighty sword of fire!”

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Critique and comment. I will be at the beach starting tomorrow morning and until Monday. I'll bring my laptop but I'm not sure if I will have internet access.

[eragon kingslaye...]

hey,
you are an awesome writer. There are only a few who can match you in this, but i noticed a few draw backs which i think will do you good-
1) your chapter 1 and 2 are disjoint, there is no visible connection between them, how did you reach chapter 2 from chapter 1.
2) i would suggest that you read your chapters once as there are very small editing and spelling mistakes here and there.
3) i feel that you are going fast, and not adding enough description to the surrounding, and remember that there are other characters in this story, you already remember them but there are others here who don't and i didn't want you do make the same mistake.


i have said my full but these are only small drawbacks compared to your level of writing and skill.
i have one last request of you-PLEASE KEEP UPDATING.....
again your are awesome..



kingslayer

[Saphira Aiedail]

Very good.You should add more detail to your surroundings and other characters.

Didnt Arya go into the tent to see Elva?

loyal reader

onr fricai Saphira Aiedail

[SwordofTruth]

The next update will probably be on Sunday or Monday. I am going to the beach all weekend, and I may or may not have internet access, but I am bringing my notebook with me to write as much as I can!

Thank you everyone who has read and commented on my story! I appreciate the constructive criticism and comments!

[Tyler Durden]

Geat chapter!!, i really like the idea of Arya and Eragon sparring together. Very interesting and well written. There were a few mispelled words, but a quick proof read would fix that. other wise great job!!

Keep the updates coming.

[PhoenixStarr]

I liked it, though it was rather disjointed. Drew, try to focus less on dialogue and more on detail a bit... and I thought you told me that you started with Galbatorix...now I am truly confused...
Good job, though.

[SwordofTruth]

Chapter 3: An Act of Desperation

Murtagh paced back and forth, staring out of the window onto the expanse of grass, and in the distant background, the Hadarac Desert. His personal living quarters were grand and flashy, but they felt more like a large prison that a comfortable and private sanctuary.

His room contained a big mattress for sleeping, a table, and a large warm fireplace that was currently lit. The table contained an assortment of items in a shabby order. Zar’roc, encased inside its blood-red sheath, lay in the center of the table. Other items included bits of food, robes and other clothes, even a few scrolls.

Thorn’s presence suddenly entered Murtagh’s mind. How are you doing Murtagh? Thorn asked.

Hard to tell my companion, I’m confused. I don’t know how to feel about killing the elf Oromis and his dragon. Murtagh sighed out loud, walking over to his bed to sit. Thorn was currently out flying around the castle and its grounds, with the watchful eye of Shruikan, the midnight black dragon that inspired fear throughout Alagaesia.

Shouldn’t you be glad it was he who died instead of yourself?

Angered, Murtagh responded. Of course I’m glad I’m alive. But I slayed the oldest Rider and his dragon, the only Rider and dragon of the old remaining. But he was a fool, hiding out in the forest when he could have helped us! Argh! I cannot take it any more, Thorn. I’m sick and tired of having my destiny decided for me. I want to do things of my own free will and choice. Ever since I was born my fate has been in the hands of everyone but myself.

And what is it you wish to do? Thorn asked curiously. If you weren’t bound to Galbatorix, what would you like to do with your life?

I don’t know what I could do. Murtagh answered. I don’t want to support Galbatorix and his cause, but the Varden would never let me join them. I would be imprisoned again, and I don’t think I would ever regain Eragon’s trust, not after killing his mentor. It’s not fair! Why can’t I ever have a say in my life?

Moaning won't get us anywhere, Murtagh. Thorn responded in a fatherly tone. But if we are ever going to be free we need to do as Eragon says, and work on changing our true names.

But I haven’t the slightest idea of how to do that! Murtagh complained. If only I knew how to go about doing that, I would have to change myself to become free.

We’ll work on it, Thorn promised. And once we are free of Galbatorix’s grasp, he will regret the day he imprisoned us! Pure hate filled Thorn’s mind, so strong Murtagh could feel its extremities.

A knock sounded at Murtagh’s door. “Come in!” Murtagh shouted in a rough and angry voice. When the door stood ajar, Murtagh recognized the figure to be one of the castle servants, Morley.

“Murtagh, Sir, Master Galbatorix wishes to meet with you.” he said, bowing more out of fear than respect. Murtagh was widely known among the servants for his wild and disrupting temper.

Murtagh grunted, putting on a loose brown tunic. He grabbed Zar’roc and attached it to his belt, then followed the servant out of the door. After a few seconds of walking behind Morley’s slow pace, Murtagh snapped saying “Morley, I know the way. You don’t have to escort me.”

“Yes, Murtagh, Sir.” Morley said, obviously relieved.

Murtagh immediately adopted a brisk pace down the many halls and corridors, finally reaching the door to Galbatorix’s study. Without bothering to be polite, Murtagh swung the door open and stepped inside.

Galbatorix looked up from across the large, black wooden desk, meeting Murtagh’s eyes. As Murtagh stared at Galbatorix his blood turned to ice. His brown, almost black eyes looked Murtagh up and down. His head was completely bald, but scruffy facial hair covered his face. All of his characteristics made him look like a madman with power, which indeed he was.

“You wanted me, Galbatorix?” Murtagh asked rudely.

“Master Galbatorix.” he corrected.

“Actually, my name is Murtagh.” he responded, not in any mood to be agreeable or comply with Galbatorix’s wishes.

“Listen here, boy, I could put you in a lot of pain if you fail to do as I say!” Galbatorix’s voice was angry, yet cruelly smooth and icy.

Murtagh just looked straight into his eyes, shuffling his feet, waiting to see why he was summoned.

“A matter of great importance concerns me.” began Galbatorix, rising from his chair. “A matter which involves this last egg.” Galbatorix walked across the room, and from a cupboard, drew out a beautiful emerald green dragon egg. Murtagh almost gasped aloud. Every time he saw the egg he was transfixed by its beauty and mystery. The whole dragon egg was a sparkling emerald green, and waves and veins of darker green wound its way around the egg in a majestic way.

“And what about the egg worries you?” asked Murtagh after a few minutes of staring at the egg. He was worried Galbatorix would make a dangerous demand of him, which was inevitable, since he had been called to him.

“As you know, the Empire is being taken over, by the Varden and the elves. The Varden has captured Feinster, and moving on to Belatona, no doubt. They are invading from the South. The elves have captured Ceunon and are working on invading the Empire capturing land, invading from the North. Soon more cities will fall, and I have not the time to send large armies to defend these cities. Losing them do not worry me, for eventually they will have to confront us here in Urû’baen, which they will all fall to their deaths.”

“What does this all have to do with the egg?” asked Murtagh, unsure of where Galbatorix was trying to lead the conversation.

“The egg needs to be moved to a safer location. I do not fear it being stolen, with Brom and Oromis dead, but I am not a fool, and I am not going to be taking any chances. That is why I need you to move it to a safer place.”

“And where do you have in mind?” asked Murtagh.

“I have a few locations in mind.” Galbatorix answered, pacing his study. “But I am not yet ready to move it. Preparations have to be made, and I have a few more experiments to work on to try and force the egg to hatch. If none of those work, then I will inform you, and give you your instructions.”

“Sir, why can’t you just transport the egg with magic?” Murtagh inquired.

“Ah, while do so would be efficient, by doing so I wouldn’t be able to make sure the egg is properly guarded.” Galbatorix said in a distracted tone.

“Why can’t you move the egg yourself?” Murtagh spat angrily.

“If only I could, but by showing myself out in the open away from the citadel, it would provide Eragon and his dragon a perfect opportunity to invade the castle. You obviously cannot overcome him even with the help of the Eldunarya I have provided you, so you must be the one to do it.”

Still not out of questions, Murtagh asked, “The egg has got to be safer here than anywhere else, why move it to a different location?”

“By moving the egg somewhere else I would be doing what the Varden and elves least expect me to do.” Galbatorix explained.

Murtagh nodded. While he didn’t like or admire Galbatorix, he had to admit to himself it was a smart move. As long as things went smoothly, no one would guess the egg wasn’t as Galbatorix’s side, like it had been for over a century.

“Murtagh, you may leave now.” barked Galbatorix, making a motion with his hands to scoot out. Murtagh turned around, but before he was out the door Galbatorix murmured a few words in the Ancient Language. Murtagh froze where he stood, unable to move. Galbatorix had just spoken his True Name. “You are to tell nobody of this conversation.”

Fire and ice burned throughout Murtagh’s body as a result of his true name being spoken aloud. His soul and mind cried out for release, but his muscles wouldn’t move.
“Now you are dismissed.”

Murtagh panted, eagerly leaving. As he opened to the door he noticed Morley running across the hall. As soon as the door closed behind him, he did the same thing, sprinting away, racing away from the lingering power of his True Name.
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Chapter 4 might be up later today, might is the key word here.

I'm eager to get along with the story, I just figured out what I am going to do with Brom's seven words, I think I have a very original and good idea. But that won't be figured out until later.

I also know what I am going to do with Angela and her mysterious past, but again, later in the story.

This post has been edited by SwordofTruth: Jul 6 2009, 10:58 AM

[Starfire 818]

Moaning won't get us anywhere, Murtagh. Thorn responded in a fatherly tone.

“You wanted me, Galbatorix?” Murtagh asked rudely.

“Master Galbatorix.” he corrected.

“Actually, my name is Murtagh.” he responded, not in any mood to be agreeable or comply with Galbatorix’s wishes.

LOL

Eldunarya

DId you mean Elundari?

Good story. The plot line is already moving in a different direction which is a nice breath of fresh air. The description of Galbatorix was excellent.

Galbatorix looked up from across the large, black wooden desk, meeting Murtagh’s eyes. As Murtagh stared at Galbatorix his blood turned to ice. His brown, almost black eyes looked Murtagh up and down. His head was completely bald, but scruffy facial hair covered his face. All of his characteristics made him look like a madman with power, which indeed he was.

"Madman with power." My favorite line. Anyway, you have a good story going here. I won't say toom uch yeet about the paced and the ExA relationship becuase you are only at chapter 3, but you are doing good nonetheless. I hope to see more!

Starfire

[SwordofTruth]

Eldunarya

DId you mean Elundari?

Eldunarya is plural for Eldunari, so I meant Eldunarya.

Good story. The plot line is already moving in a different direction which is a nice breath of fresh air. The description of Galbatorix was excellent.

Galbatorix looked up from across the large, black wooden desk, meeting Murtagh’s eyes. As Murtagh stared at Galbatorix his blood turned to ice. His brown, almost black eyes looked Murtagh up and down. His head was completely bald, but scruffy facial hair covered his face. All of his characteristics made him look like a madman with power, which indeed he was.

"Madman with power." My favorite line. Anyway, you have a good story going here. I won't say toom uch yeet about the paced and the ExA relationship becuase you are only at chapter 3, but you are doing good nonetheless. I hope to see more!

Starfire

I'm glad you like my story, thanks! Ya I think I'm going to have and ExA relationship, and Chapter 4 is possibly going to be up today, I have an idea of what it's going to be.

[Slayers or Shade...]

“You wanted me, Galbatorix?” Murtagh asked rudely.

“Master Galbatorix.” he corrected.

“Actually, my name is Murtagh.” he responded, not in any mood to be agreeable or comply with Galbatorix’s wishes.

That was so HP, Harry vs Snape , I don't know if you got it there, btu it's still funny

I liked the chapter, I guess that Eragon and/or Arya is going to catch Murtagh or Murtagh finds a loophole in his oaths or changes his TN
Hmm... I guess Galby will send the egg either to Morzan's castle or the Utgard... or maybe even to Doru Areaba....

I hope you can update soon

SoS

[SwordofTruth]

“You wanted me, Galbatorix?” Murtagh asked rudely.

“Master Galbatorix.” he corrected.

“Actually, my name is Murtagh.” he responded, not in any mood to be agreeable or comply with Galbatorix’s wishes.

That was so HP, Harry vs Snape , I don't know if you got it there, btu it's still funny

I liked the chapter, I guess that Eragon and/or Arya is going to catch Murtagh or Murtagh finds a loophole in his oaths or changes his TN
Hmm... I guess Galby will send the egg either to Morzan's castle or the Utgard... or maybe even to Doru Areaba....

I hope you can update soon

SoS

I knew that it sounded familiar, oh well, I remember now.

And you are kinda close with one of your theories (not telling you which one).