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Lost... Just some depressing poetry-ish stuff... Rate Topic: **--- 1 Votes

#1 User is offline   grangergal Icon

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Posted 22 July 2009 - 10:09 PM

Lost…


I’m sitting, wreathed in flames. Sorrow laces my heart; Death stands all about me like still water. I’m lost, floating in a world where no one can find me. No one knows how this is to me. No one knows what I feel, how this stupid world rips me apart. No one knows…

I’m sitting, on the bones of my enemies, on the souls of my friends. No one knows how lost I am, floating away inside my head. No one can tell the pain and misery I feel. No one knows...

Help me! I try to scream, but my throat seems to have been glued shut, I can’t talk, scream out, it is a pain to even breathe. I’m sitting, unable to speak out against my sorrows. It’s like I’m free, but yet I’m not. It’s like I could get up to walk away, but if I did so they would be allowed to chain me up, tie me down…

I’m sitting, in pools of unbearable sorrow, clouds of death and misery. I’m tied down, chained up, yet free. I cannot speak out against what I find unjust, what I feel will rip our world apart, until we are nothing left but the crumbling ruins of a once great civilization. Just something else that was lost…

© Jordyn Kirk, 2009
She wrote herself wings and flew away...

#2 User is offline   Xalantor Icon

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 11:05 AM

That was pretty good! I could really feel the emotions of the person. Though I don't ever write or read poetry, thus I don't know much about it, it seemed really well-written to me.

Keep it up!

#3 User is offline   grangergal Icon

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 10:25 PM

Thank you, I'm glad that you liked it. I don't write poetry either, I was just bored with five minuets on the computer. I'm not even sure if it quite qualifies as poetry!!!

QUOTE (Xalantor @ Jul 23 2009, 03:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That was pretty good! I could really feel the emotions of the person. Though I don't ever write or read poetry, thus I don't know much about it, it seemed really well-written to me.

Keep it up!


She wrote herself wings and flew away...

#4 User is offline   Xalantor Icon

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 10:43 PM

Yeah, no problem. I'm no critic, but I thought it was awesome. And hey, boredom brings out the artist within. Sometimes.

QUOTE
I'm not even sure if it quite qualifies as poetry!!!

Meh, who cares. If it makes you think and you can imagine it, then it sure as hell can be poetry or whatever you want it to be.

Except it can't be a banana, you do know that.

#5 User is offline   grangergal Icon

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Posted 24 July 2009 - 09:35 AM

QUOTE
Except it can't be a banana, you do know that.


Darn, I wanted a banana! Ha ha, thanks again!!!

This, ummm... piece, is going to be at teh start of my next book, which I'm working on right now...
She wrote herself wings and flew away...

#6 User is offline   Nicci Icon

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Posted 24 July 2009 - 10:31 AM

This is really good...I like it a lot.
"It is important to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated." -Albus Dumbledore
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