[Malus Rune]

Well, I do a fair bit of poetry and stuff so I figured I might create a thread here to put it on. I say "poetry"; while I do quite a bit of it my real thing is in song lyrics. Some of these are my own projects, where I just imagine a tune and put the lyrics to it (I can't write music), other times I do lyrics for bands I know.


EDIT: First of all, I'd like to say something here. The general feedback here is that the first one is a little angsty, and the rest are better. So I'm just sorta saying, if you get put off by the first one- 'cause looking back on it, it ain't that good- generally speaking the reviews get more positive as you move on

This is one of my own lyrical projects, which I wrote to express my anger and disgust at the oppressive social heirarchy that exists in my school. While not all my lyrics are like this, this one is quite profane; just warning you.



It’s a cold place, marked with fear
Where words are spoken empty from faces that sneer
The jester who wanted to be king
The parasite that feeds but won’t admit to a thing
It’s a hellhole that’s heaven for those that should burn
A kingdom for the foul who were the first ones to learn
Where the dominant male runs the pride and the show
And whose harlots are more pious then the lost saints below
Oh the fires are still burning; I’m the last to be lit
While you climb to the top on your mountain of pooop

So go and BLARGH off back to your throne
On the crap you’re so desperate to own
They still won’t care
It’s all another BLARGHING high
When you sit there and watch them die
There is nothing there

An empty promise on a staircase of blood
Another angel gone and pushed down in the mud
Service brings nothing and that’s all you can take
You’ve stabbed so many backs that there’s none left to break
Hide the tears with the knife that delivered the cut
And roll a twenty ton dice onto the wrong end of luck
Build a stinking palace for the filth and the whores
Up with obscenity, throw open the doors
This whole goddamn system of yours makes me sick
Yet feeds you sweet falsehoods that kill you so quick
You’d hang once for what makes you the elite
An aristocracy of scum with the truth in defeat

So go and BLARGH off back to your throne
On the crap you’re so desperate to own
They still won’t care
It’s all another BLARGHING high
When you sit there and watch them die
There is nothing there

Like a shark in a feeding frenzy where the fish have bigger teeth
Like a penthouse in a falling tower where help lies far beneath
Like a foolish king who built his palace on sand
Like trying to break Fort Knox and go in without a plan
Like a bullet fired that will still turn right around
Like all of these fools, you’re set to fall so far down

The goddess of betrayal will take your hand to the top
But don’t forget she’s got hands that were built for the drop
A three year old king who’s head can’t hold the crown
Oh I’ll laugh in the mud when it all comes falling down
You’ve got friends but you can’t control those you leave dead
Although I think your friends too will be glad for your head
You’ve never been tyrant, you’ve only been fool
You’ve only been madman who thinks he can rule
You’re a king in your head but not once in your soul
And your head is the type that is destined to roll
The palace is on fire now, the servants have left
And you’re left with all that you want to detest

So go and BLARGH off back to your throne
On the crap you’re so desperate to own
They still won’t care
It’s all another BLARGHING high
When you sit there and watch them die
There is nothing there

There is nothing there
There is nothing there
BLARGH you, there’s nothing there
There’s nothing there
There’s nothing there
BLARGH you, there’s nothing there

(oh, and the M sticker beside the topic refers to the profanity in this song. Like I say, most of my songs/poems are less angry)

This post has been edited by Malus Rune: 11 October 2009 - 10:28 AM

[Anavrin]

Those are some great lyrics. You've got a talent for that. Are you in a band?

[Malus Rune]

Naw. While I do play Cello and Drums, I'm a fairly inexperienced Drummer and there isn't much demand for Cellists in bands. I'm sort of the school's freelance lyricist. There are a fair few bands I do lyrics for, as well as a few singers/guitarists who enjoy writing their own material.

Glad you like them

Anyway, I'm embarking on a personal lyrical project to keep me entertained for a bit. I have a few friends at the moment going through cycles of depression and I've started a project where each set of lyrics deals with individual types of depression. My goal here is not to express how much my life sucks or how empty I am now my girlfriend's dumped me (PAH! At least those lyricists had girlfriends at some point *bitter laugh*), rather, to look into the causes of sadness and try to accurately describe the emotions one feels, as opposed to just whining about them. I've always found more specific sad songs (*cough* Clayman album *cough*) to be a really helpful shoulder to cry on when things go wrong. This is my first finished one:

Black and White

It has gone cold now
Trail long lost, prey long released
Slit-eyes bright with vacancy
On a never ending path
What had once looked like morality
Is gone; they flee the saviour as they once fled the beast
I await the end of day
Dusk might bring a little more colour
Then I find in shades of grey

Where has the world gone?
When did you steal my light?
I've never felt more unstoppable
So why am I lost in Black and White?

I hate the enemy that I feed
And long for friends I shun
Immortals lost in combat
Divinity; undone
Spectrum falling inwards
My demons come to light
A fresh bud of obscenity
What foe is left to fight?

Leave me; I still have beasts to slay
Leave me; I'd rather die alone

Where has the world gone?
When did you steal my light?
I've never felt more unstoppable
So why am I lost in Black and White?

No rest for the wicked
Too caught up to show the bones
The world is gone- you die alone.

[solo]

I need to find myself again
When all that I can see is you
How can I break this cycle
When the pain is the one thing left true?

[short acoustic section]

Where has the world gone?
When did you steal my light?
I've never felt more unstoppable
So why am I lost in Black and White?

No rest for the wicked (Where has the world gone?
Too caught up to show the bones (I've never felt more alone)
The world is gone, I kill alone (Black and White)

Alone (Black and White)
Alone (Black and White)

Alone!


I haven't included the meaning, shouldn't be too hard to interpret.

This post has been edited by Malus Rune: 23 August 2009 - 04:05 PM

[Katya]

Alright, I'm going to be honest. The first song was a little bit "typical teen angst" style, and was a little bit boring. The second one however, I loved. The lyrics didn't just flow, but they made me stop and think about the imagery you tied in. Excellent job!

I hate the enemy that I feed
And long for friends I shun
Immortals lost in combat
Divinity; undone
Spectrum falling inwards
My demons come to light
A fresh bud of obscenity
What foe is left to fight?

I particularly like that verse, the little bit of rhyme as well as powerful meaning made me want to read it again.

[Malus Rune]

Yeah, the first one was too angsty For some reason- and this only really affects me with Lyrics- I'm proud of the lyrics I write for about a week or two afterwards, and then I start to feel physical pain whenever I look at them. The difference between the two was that the first one was one I wrote when I was genuinely pissed off, while the second was about a hypothetical scenario. I was able to be more "detached" from the second, not let my own teenage-ness seep too much into it. I wish I hadn't put the angsty one first now

But thanks for the feedback, Katya. I was actually hoping someone would point out a favourite amoung the two, they're both of very different styles with different main influences from bands, so I know which style to continue on with.

Anyway, updates are going to be held up for a bit owing to summer homework, but I've written a good deal of the second song in that series, which, unless I change it between now and posting, will be called Mirror Mirror and deal with aspects of humiliation.

[potter573]

I agree with Katya. The first I didn't like but the second one was really good.

Where has the world gone?
When did you steal my light?
I've never felt more unstoppable
So why am I lost in Black and White?

The above lines totally amazed me. This was good, really good. You should write lyrics more often and post them here.

[Malus Rune]

Well, I had a bit more free time then I thought, so I wa able to put down a first draft of the next song.

This song is- essentially- about shame. It's about when you do something, and it's really stupid, and you embarass yourself in front of loads of people or friends or something like that. The real subject of the song, though, is the period after that- where you're the only one who still remembers the shame; nobody else laughs at you for it anymore, but it still stings you to remember that, to the point that you begin to really repress it and it starts to fester. Unfortunately, this song will suffer from the same problem as the first one in that it's an issue that I have a real problem with, so it might get more angsty. I've tried to put it more in the style of the second, but I don't know how well I did.

Anyway, here it is:

Mirror, Mirror

I know you better then you do now
Such sacred secrets spilt and said
Compelled to stay fleeing, desperate
There’s fear behind but lies ahead

You can ride off into the sunset
No thought to the tales you so regret
Stories can’t be left unfinished
And you are not that hero yet

Splintered shards of beauty
Your tears still won’t allow them through
The tragic protagonist, lost in wreckage…

…You (drawn out)

That dying light is all that you’ve left yourself
Only yourself left to detest
Mirror, Mirror, show me all that’s left
You only lost your way ‘cause you let yourself
Only yourself left to forget
Mirror, Mirror, there’s nothing to reflect

You're the self proclaimed disaster
A work-in-progress tragedy
So blown over by summer breezes
A wounded deer the wolf can't see

The sirens wail your shanty
And sew stitches in eyes that dream
The world repeats, no pain, no gain
Now will you sing or will you scream?

Splintered shards of beauty
Your tears still won’t allow them through
The tragic protagonist, lost in wreckage…

…You (drawn out)

That dying light is all that you’ve left yourself
Only yourself left to detest
Mirror, Mirror, show me all that’s left
You only lost your way ‘cause you let yourself
Only yourself left to forget
Mirror, Mirror, there’s nothing to reflect

Wrapped in your own embrace
The sight of self disgrace
It’s not an easy thing to face
But they’ve long forgotten you
Trapped in your own disguise
Why build a world of lies?
It’s easier when you realise
They’ve long forgotten you

One last stand left to make, shielding denials torn in two
You’re allowed to dance together; the villain and the hero

…You (drawn out)

That dying light is all that you’ve left yourself
Only yourself left to detest
Mirror, Mirror, show me all that’s left
You only lost your way ‘cause you let yourself
Only yourself left to forget
Mirror, Mirror, there’s nothing to reflect

This post has been edited by Malus Rune: 28 August 2009 - 05:43 PM

[Anavrin]

Man, these are excellent. I (I guess like everyone else who has read your lyrics) like the last two that you've written more than the first one (but I still like the first one a lot); they're beautifully written. Your lyrics are a lot better than a lot of the lyrics written by bands that're signed.

This post has been edited by Anavrin: 28 August 2009 - 09:04 PM

[Rinion]

I particularly like Mirror, Mirror, especially the sibilance of "such sacred secrets spilt and said" and the ideas of the mirror having nothing left to reflect and: "You’re allowed to dance together; the villain and the hero." It is an accurate portrayal of that type of shame. To what genre are these lyrics set?

[Malus Rune]

They are set to a genre that I have made up by compiling the names of other genres which lend their features to it. I call it "The New Wave of Extreme Melodic Symphonic Metal". Catchy, no?

Anyway, next song up! If we're looking at these recent songs from the point of view of them being an entirely lyrical "album", of sorts, then this is the title track. It deals with the issue of growing out of touch with the real world to favour dreams, and when the dreams run dry you aren't equipped to face the real world.

Sanctuary

The siren is singing, and you heed it's call
A privellage given, to the accursed, who live for nothing
And die for it all

Paradise draws closer
The air grows warmer, with every touch
You can take what you desire
But it can only give so much

You can unlock the throne room
Raise the dead and crack the sky
Live forever, walk on water 'till you leave the storm

But I can't let you see the path you cannot yet understand
The power to bridge the black hole where the garden ends

What will you do when you taste belief?
What will you scream when you fall?
What will be waiting when you gasp the venom we've all had to breathe?

The garden holds strong and firm
While the storm winds plead, and scream and blow
You sit amoung the golden trees
That you had never thought to grow

You can unlock the throne room
Raise the dead and crack the sky
Live forever, walk on water 'till you leave the storm

But I can't let you see the path you cannot yet understand
The power to bridge the black hole where the garden ends

What will you do when you taste belief?
What will you scream when you fall?
What will be waiting when you gasp the venom we've all had to breathe?

Inheritance will only take you so far
You have to come out and face the grey
It is a talent the rest of us know
This place was never yours anyway

[solo]

The ground will be ripped from beneath you
The Sanctuary lost to the chasm below
The strung out angels flee the lost deity
This world never told you where now to go

For I can't let you see the path you cannot yet understand
The power to bridge the black hole where the garden ends

What will you do when you taste belief?
What will you scream when you fall?
What will be waiting when you gasp the venom we've all had to breathe?

What will you do when you taste belief?
What will you scream when you fall?
What will be waiting when you gasp the venom we've all had to breathe?

What will be waiting?

This post has been edited by Malus Rune: 03 September 2009 - 02:25 PM

[Malus Rune]

Update! This number, "Shine", is kinda loose with its interpretations. Basically, it's about a problem I have a lot; you really want to be remembered; you want to create something that everyone will love, like Leonardo Da Vinci or Paul McCartney, but you never actually bothered to learn how to create these things, and so everything you create crumbles to dust as you make it, and your passion goes unexpressed. It can also be interpreted to deal with perfectionism.

“Shine”

Save your applause; it’ll take me longer still
To let loose the colour into the time I have to kill
Three cheers for all the points that I have missed
But please don’t tell me I still know how to exist

I spilt the ink
I wish that meant something
The freedom that I felt last night imprisons me today

Pray for the world to see; pray for such disaster
Prayers will not last forever
You’ll scream my songs long after

They said to let it burn; but it will burn through me
I swallowed the key to where I hid; so am I free?
The hidden symphonies that only I can define
Fall on ears all deafened, all unhearing, except for mine

Insignificant and stuttering
My passion chokes on the wick
And I could’ve sworn that the melted wax
Pooled into art before it dried

Pray for the world to see; pray for such disaster
Prayers will not last forever
You’ll scream my songs long after

Oh, you’ll scream it long after

[solo]


Choked by the hands of Midas
A curse so beautiful to the mind’s eye
My blood runs gold; it can’t stay inside
But will it stay so gold when I’ve bled it dry?

Pray for the world to see; pray for such disaster
Prayers will not last forever
You’ll scream my songs long after

Prayers will not last forever
You’ll scream my songs long after

Shine!

Shine!

God damn you!

Shine!

This post has been edited by Malus Rune: 16 October 2009 - 04:38 PM

[Malus Rune]

PHWOAR.

First update in a while folks, been busy. This one's a bit of a break from the theme of depression, and is the first attempt I've made in the while to make a song that's anti religious (sorry if anyone finds it offensive, I toyed with whether or not to post it, but it isn't the first anti-religious lyric put up here). It's a bit tacky and stumbling in places, I haven't had much time to edit. Enjoy!

Blinding Silence

Beating the dead horse, carcass twisted inside
To bloody the words the stakeholders write
Slanderous answer to question un-asked
All shall cling to the razor path.

The blinded author struggles
For new ways to misspell
The fall of the tragic
Who misheard their knell

The addendum encircles
New wells to draw up shame
Remind me of the tone of disgust
I should use to speak my name

We go now
Gotta break it, gotta break it
Gotta break it out [held]

Oh
I beg you, taste and you will see
The venom spring in me
Purify; we could wash in the same fear

And if I were to speak above the Blinding Silence
Shatter the opiate walls
And forge my own filtered brightness
Would a place be saved for me?

[mini-solo, ending in brief accoustic]

The truth ran dry last verse
And lies drip like ink
Through cracks in the hull
Of the boat where the ocean sinks

With off-colour lips we drink
From the pool that you denied to take more
For the sake of empty-eyed freedom
And the rich man who locked out the poor

We go now
Gotta break it, gotta break it
Gotta break it out [held]

Oh
I beg you, taste and you will see
The venom spring in me
Purify; we could wash in the same fear

I’d love to stay and justify
Just why I deserve to die
How does it feel to last forever
As one ashamed to be alive?

[accoustic, breaks into stronger, smooth guitar part]

Not to live as nothing in the face of the elite
Best to die quick with warm ground beneath your feet

[solo]


No sense in living for the madness
Gotta break it, gotta break it
Gotta break it now [held]

Oh
I beg you, taste and you will see
The venom spring in me
Purify; we could wash in the same fear

I’d love to stay and justify
Just why I deserve to die
How does it feel to last forever
As one ashamed to be alive?

Oh
I beg you, taste and you will see
The venom spring in me
Purify; we could wash in the same fear

I’d love to stay and justify
Just why I deserve to die
How will it feel when you’re the last?
And we all, we all cling to the razor path.

This post has been edited by Malus Rune: 31 January 2010 - 08:54 AM

[Blazing Elf]

Oh wow that was good......nothing I ever heard of before. Oh I like the name of the song "Blinding Silence" ... but when are you gonna write poetry??

~BE

This post has been edited by Blazing Elf: 30 January 2010 - 08:46 PM

[Bee Bee Bee]

You rock man. I love Mirror Mirror the most I think, it's really deep.

And even though the first one is kinda angsty, I think it could work in a death-metal type song.