[chilisfan16]

I've been writing and posting lyrics/poetry for songs I write for a couple of years, and this is the first I've posted on this site.

It's part of a story I've been writing with my band, and I've written a series of songs on this one concept. This is around the end of my story, but I've decided to post it first.

Feedback is much appreciated.


I awake
As her body falls from my hands
The deed is done
The battle won

I sleep
For the first time since i saw her face
No tears of joy
This little boy

He cries
But his mother can't respond to say
'Your tears can end
This man's my friend'

My crimson hands cover my eyes
I cannot look
I cannot bear
I will not listen to his cries

I need some peace, i need some quiet
Spend time with her
Now we're alone
Some tranquil air to calm the riot

Little child no need to cry
One step towards the day we die
Watch on as he cowers away
I'm no monster, arn't I?

Take this moment at last to rest
Run my hand down past her chest
Her lifeless still, it calms me so
But then i realise, and detest

Not taken one, I've taken two
Defenceless, caged and alseep too
The boy he screams across the room
While taking three, my heart ensues

My mother screams
Inside my head
Psychotic killer
Left for dead
Lying dazed
Across the floor
I draw my blood
I draw it more
My existance
Tainted life
Smile and cry
My friend the knife
My wrists they flow
And follow through
What of these crimes
I can't undo

And now i know just how she felt
Lying on the floor
Mother, mother, hold my hand
Just as i make it four

[Blazing Elf]

Sad poem very well written.

[Kari]

I have goosebumps.

Seriously.

You need to fix the fifth stanza's first and last line so that they flow metrically better, but other than that, this song is amazing! Very nicely written, with emotion, suspense and meaning.

Thank you for that.