[Africander]

Made on request. It's pretty short, but it shows exactly what I think of Twilight.

Tragedy

As she flitted through the thick forest, Bella Cullen could felt rejuvenated from her latest trip hunting. It had been two years since her death, and she had enjoyed her new lifestyle greatly. As the blurring trees became more scarce she slowed to a walk and strode to the front door of her and Edwards hut.

Opening the door she spotted Edward sitting in an armchair opposite the fire, with his back to her, seeming not to have noticed her.

“So, back from hunting?” said Edward in what seemed to be his most indifferent tone.
“
Yes, back.” Replied Bella frustrated. She had noticed a wedge growing between the two of them over the last two years and could not place why. Before she could ponder the thought further Edward spun in his chair, (and spun it with him) with and defeated look on his face.

“We need to talk,” said Edward almost coldly. Bella opened her mouth to speak but Edward cut across her. “For a year now I have regretted a major decision in my life, and the more I think about it now, the less sense it makes. When I changed you into a vampire, I never thought that such a thing would have happened. But only recently I have realised what has happened. And I place the blame squarely on you, Bella.”
“Excuse me, what?!” exclaimed Bella, in outrage. “What has happened? And why are you being so mean?”

“Oh, Bella, Bella. I have, as you would say, joined the away team.”

“What?”

“Bella, I’m gay.”

“Is this a joke?, because I don’t find it funny?”Said Bella exasperated.

“No Bella, when I first met you, I was on the verge of turning, but you didn’t see that did you? I thought that women had better gaydar than that. I mean I probably have the gayest voice of anyone I know. But that isn’t the worst; after you became a vampire you lost the reason why I liked you in the first place. Without that human smell you had no allure over me, so I was left to ponder. You are pretty useless aren’t you? No backbone what so ever, you’re possibly the most whiny person I know, and I know some pretty whiny people.”

Bella’s face fell; she was appalled that Edward would say such things. Leaving Bella speechless Edward walked out of the still open door, and flitted into the forest and out of sight.

This post has been edited by ElfElder: 06 October 2009 - 08:40 AM

[Malus Rune]

Congratulations. You are officially a more realistic storyteller then a woman who has sold thousands of published books.

[Pompoon]

I congratulate you on making my life complete.

[Chris99]

ROFLing...

[Quoth the Raven]

*wipes tear* Thank you for bringing this beautiful piece of literature to earth.

Well, actual crit: you have several minor grammatical and spelling errors. You use "flitting" twice in respect to the forest, but other than that your word choice is great.

[Jazuala]

beautiful!
Finally an ending I have been waiting for! 10/10

[Pompoon]

Every time I read this I love it more and more.

[HJP]

Haha, I'm laughing out loud! I'm just super impressed at how well you captured Stephanie Meyer's voice in your writing; it makes your story seem so much more realistic, I'm actually believing this is the real ending. Congrats. Hahaha.

[Malus Rune]

Of course you believe it. Considering what Bella and Edward were like, it was bound to happen

[Africander]

Thanks everyone. I had actually listened to the books on audible, read by a women, so Edward does actually sound really gay in it.

[MooMoose]

Ha! Awesome! I love Twilight, but I absolutely detest Edward. he makes me want to puke. I love this story!

This post has been edited by MooMoose: 12 September 2009 - 03:11 PM

[Arcane]

You guys are such sadists....
But still roflmao....

[tessa drottningu]

wow...... what a beautiful piece of art work, you rule!!

[Africander]

Thank you guys, it seem that was most productivley I've spent 20 mins in months.

[Rayla RLA]

Ha ha ha xD I know many people that would kill you because of this (literally). It honestly is the best Twilight fic I've read so far, basically because it was not sugary. At all. There are a few punctuation errors (for example: "Is this a joke, because I don’t find it funny?" should be "Is this a joke?, because I don't find it funny") but what does that matter next to such a brilliant and embarrassing (for Meyer) idea?

This post has been edited by Rayla RLA: 05 October 2009 - 02:24 PM