[ERASTRESHTIN WRTR]

what I am writing about is with dragons and riders...though...

This is basically the summary on the book I am making now, and soon to be a series.

Dragons two thousand years ago flourished and were considered that of guardians of the earth
About this day in time a young blacksmith that goes by the name of Togin, has complete take over of his masters smithery, because the master dies of old age, and then after creating and working for his Kings army, he sets off to become that of an adventurer, but as he did, raiders and pirates stole his goods continuously during a one or two year span of misfortune. He blamed the dragons because of this. He felt that they had not taken their duties seriously and allowed him to have misfortune fall upon him, he then befriends an elf, one with great knowledge on the arts of magic, he then tricks the elf to give away the most terrible secrets of magic, and kills the elf...
...meanwhile...dragons did their job, but not with riders, riders they considered were that of a very dangerous and touchy subject. Seeing as how if riders were brought up, the dragons thought they would be undermined and treated as pack animals, and a way of transportation. plus the dragons did not want to change anything about their race, and especially to not include riders into existence.
...Meanwhile...Togin sets his revenge and eventually...after a couple of decades worth of fighting against the dragons, hde prevailed...but one thing he didn't know was that the dragons went back on what they believed in, they went to seperate sides of the land they lived on, known as Trelefovin, and put one egg at seperate parts of the map, waiting for the right person to come up and to take role as rider, and in hopes to defeat the King, and since both eggs are of different gender, they can mate inthe future...(if they are ever found) then they can rebuild what was once lost

Two thousand years later...a boy by the name of Jack, still the day in time is medieval, a farmboy living as a theif to try and provide for himself and his father Orris. increased taxes and forced conscription forced him to to go jail over certain cercumstances that will be read in the book(if ever published) and then after breaking out of jail something wonderful...and horrible happens...he is proclaimed dragon rider later on in the book.

When he first gets to the elves...I wrote a chapter called, 'abomination or evolution'...because the elves were the closest to the dragons and also fully understood the importance of not having riders, at first wanting to kill Jack, only to be stopped by his dragon Phisira, Then the elves wondered what to call him, which is one of two things...Abomination, or a evolution...you will get details if I ever am able to publish the book.
Thanks for reading.

I did not complete the book yet, but I got a good Idea on the end that may piss people off, because I think that it would be considered the most suspensful book I would ever be able to create, who in the entire world would ever make a book with this ending...

At the end of the book, after a great battle against the King, Phisira (Jacks dragon) is distracted long enough for the King to kidnap Jack and as the book ends with the last chapter being as Phisiras story...Jack doesn't come back, and everybody is left with suspense as the next book will contain both sides of a couple of stories, being Jacks enslavement and Phisiras struggle to rescue him, and also(if any more important characters get created) They will also be involved.

I would like a opinion on anyones feelings reguarding the ending...
Thanks for the help...

EDIT:

I am about to be finished with my first book to share...maybe publish...
how can i post a book on the internet like I have seen people do?

please give a full description on how it is done

-thank you, and don't forget my book summary...called 'unnamed book' would like a opinion on how the ending results...

This post has been edited by Stormfire: 25 August 2009 - 09:18 PM

[Charles]

Honestly, the concept is pretty tired. Dragon rider to take down a king? When your concept has that much trouble, I'd suggest rethinking it. That's not to say that it's not impossible to write a decent story with this basic plot outline, but your prose and characters would have to be pretty stunning and executed in a good enough way for people not to care that the concept has been done to death.

Honestly, you're thinking in too much a plot driven way anyhow. The plot should be pretty easy to determine if you know your characters and your world really well. All of us don't know your characters and world like you do, so making that judgment call would be nearly impossible.

[metalhead]

Not to be mean but I suggest you drop the dragon rider type stories. People will view it as highly, highly unoriginal and give you crap.

[Stormfire]

First, it would be nice if you would post with proper grammar. Your post is rather confusing to read with all your run on sentences and random capitalizations.

Second, we generally don't allow people to just post previews, summaries, or create threads that basically say "here's what I'm writing about, tell me what you think". If you are looking for serious critique and help with writing, post a piece of the actual writing, like the prologue or the first chapter. It's extremely hard for people to pass judgment on a story based on just a brief description or a summary.

With all that being upfront already, I'm going to have to say that, after reading your outline, the only suggestion I can give is for you to rethink your plot altogether because it's really, really unoriginal.

By the way, this topic and your other topic about posting your story online pretty much go together, so I just edited it into your first post.

[Arthryn]

Yeah sorry dude, this story just reeks of overt, heavy influence from Inheritance, which already reeks of overt influence from other fantasy stories. So your story is like a derivative of a derivative, which makes for tired, weak concepts in a story we've all read before. Yeah, I'd just scrap it and rethink the entire thing.

Besides, rewriting it will give you some much needed practice in technical writing skills, like not abusing ellipses.

As for using inspirations and influences around you, you're presently trying to take the pieces of Inheritance and other existing fantasy and make a collage out of it, so that we can still see exactly what your story is made out of. You need to break down your influences another few levels, so that what you get out of it isn't the exact same ideas as the story you're 'inspired by', and that it seems viable, interesting, and new, and so you're able to take those base essences of your influences and paint an entirely new picture.

[dragonking555]

I just want to know how you got this up here when my overview and synopsis was forced closed!!!!!

In all seriousness, however I think that the beginning is good with the tyrant rise to power but when it becomes farmboy vs evil tyrant you are getting into Inheritance/Star Wars Territory and am sorry to say that this is a touchy field that you want to avoid if you are planning to publish. It needs an extra push to make it different. I know you can do it so just sit in a corner for a few hours and start pumping out unique idea to add and unoriginal ones to cut. Don't get me wrong and ditch the entire idea though. It just needs some creative filtering.

Here's an idea that I will share with you. Instead of dragons use some other mythical creature that is not typically done. We don't see much Griffin stories, that could be fun. You could also replace dragons with a completely original, self created creature. Change up the creature and the hero's background and that should cause a lot of separation with other dragon books. Be sure to give the King a unique spin too. I still say don't scrap the entire thing just modify it enough to make it less recognizable.

[Rinion]

Dragonking555, please don't double- or triple-post; just edit your first post.

ERASTRESHTIN WRTR, I suggest you read some books in genres other than fantasy to give you a broader range of ideas. As has been pointed out, your story bears too many similarities to Inheritance for comfort - your protagonist's dragon's name, Phisira, is almost an anagram of Saphira.