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Diamonds (Working Title) Chapter Twelve is up! SSW assisted! Rate Topic: ****- 6 Votes

#1 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:09 PM

This story is a round robin between Eka eddyr Mor’ranr and myself, as we happen to actually know each other and have nothing better to do at the moment.

This story may be offensive to some as it contains homosexuals, suicidal thoughts, and, possibly, graphic torture. Other than that, it should be clean, no curses, no sex.

It will also not be told from Eragon POV. Ever. Period the end.

So, without further ado:

Chapter One: Flawed



It was a chill autumn evening, and a brisk breeze blew a lone figure’s cloak. They were standing atop a rise a mile away from the Varden’s camp. On an evening like that, people generally stay indoors, or at least shiver, for wind like that slices through clothes with ease.

The figure did none of those things; however, it just stood there and cried quietly.

Two years, thought Arya as she watched the Varden alone from the hillock. Two years since Durza stole from me the last person I truly cared for. Since He died nothing has been the same....

I am breaking inside, no longer am I the ‘flawless diamond’ He said I was. I am broken.

Though now, this way, I suppose I am more of a diamond the ever.
At that thought she laughed, though not her normal, beautiful laugh, but the bitter, self-mocking laugh of one who has lost everything. Oh yes, I am every inch the diamond now! I am cold and hard, have many sharp edges, and am beautiful beyond compare. Everyone covets me, but not one of them wishes to be me.

She watched a man, who was returning from a scouting party, outstretch his arms to catch his young daughter, who was overjoyed at his safe return, and was suddenly filled with malice, thinking, And why should they wish to be as I am? I am utterly alone, always I am the outsider. None may relate to me for none can ever truly know me without becoming me, and that, that is impossible, for they cannot possibly lose all that I have, and for that, for their happiness, for their love, in those wonderful moments that make life worth living, for an instant I hate them. I hate them for having what I do not, can not, have.

Then the moment was over, and she regretted those thoughts, thinking to herself, I truly am breaking, the diamond that was once priceless is now flawed, and a wave of sadness overcame her as she sank to her knees and began to cry, as only those who have died inside can, thinking of all she would never, could never, have.

Her heart-wrenching sobs of pain and loss went by unheard by the Varden, but in the twilight a lone male figure heard the sound, and it broke his heart to see her tears of diamond spilled.

Arya lost herself in her grief, thinking of those who had left her behind, her father, Faolin, and one other.

And, just as her sadness threatened to overcome her, she felt a familiar hand touch her back, and heard a familiar voice.

"Shhh, Arya, do not cry, all will be well,” his voice held that all-too-familiar lilting cadence that he had always possessed.

“No, it will not, it never is….” Was Arya’s reply, it came in a small voice, chocked from crying, and utterly devoid of hope.

“Yes, it will. It always does is the end. Remember the story of Sarah, who vanquished the vampire who had, through causing her to believe he was a wonderful, harmless little boy, taken her friend Anne Marie prisoner that you said your father used to tell you when you were a child that you liked so much?”

Arya nodded slightly in response, her eyes, after her curling in a ball, though barely visible, were starting to dry.

“Well, if she, as a child, could defeat the odds and find hope where there was none, then why can you not do the same?”

“Because I have no wise wolf-companion Nessie, nor, indeed, any companions at all, save for a ridiculous shadow who enjoys quoting fairytales,” came her dismal reply. “Though you do remind me quite a bit of Him sometimes….”

“Well then, you should not be so forlorn, just close your eyes and act as if this were Him, talking to you now.”

Arya did so, and, as she listened to the sound of that voice, His voice, she relaxed, while the shadow talked to her about anything and everything he thought of.

After about an hour, she was once calm once again, so she took her leave, heading back to camp, back to the dull monotony of her day-to-day life, and the cold, dull, lifeless thing she called her heart. Happy to have escaped it all, if only for a short while.

And back on the hillock stood her shadow, watching sadly, one hand outstretched as if to call her back, dismayed that he had not been able to tell her….The words upon his lips, and then;

“Good night, Ninbein….”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that is all I have for today, but there is much more to come!

The fairytale is an inside joke between the authors, don"t ask.

@Mor'ranr; TOWNAN will kill us when she sees our little 'fairytale' won't she? Smiliehappy.gif



This post has been edited by Eleria: 16 October 2009 - 06:34 PM


#2 User is offline   StarSapphireWolf Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:18 PM

Let me guess... the man was Eragon right? Or no? It was a great starter Eleria! I would love to see the next chappy! Is there ever going to be ONE Eragon POV? And who is Ninbein?

~ You're Reader And Friend, Star ;).gif

Look wise. Say nothing. And eat only those who annoy you. ~ A dragon's advice
---------------------------------

"You can't argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention" - Brom from Eragon By Christopher Paolini
---------------------------------

Read my Book Four: Shur'tugal un Skulblaka

#3 User is offline   Eka eddyr Morranr Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:25 PM

Yeah. Don't ask.

Yes, TOWNAN would.

So, ohnoes.gif I'm next. ohnoes.gif
AxK FOREVER!!!

#4 User is offline   StarSapphireWolf Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:27 PM

QUOTE (Eka eddyr Morranr @ Sep 6 2009, 04:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah. Don't ask.

Yes, TOWNAN would.

So, ohnoes.gif I'm next. ohnoes.gif


Good luck D.gif

~ You're Reader, Star ;).gif


Look wise. Say nothing. And eat only those who annoy you. ~ A dragon's advice
---------------------------------

"You can't argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention" - Brom from Eragon By Christopher Paolini
---------------------------------

Read my Book Four: Shur'tugal un Skulblaka

#5 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:29 PM

QUOTE (StarSapphireWolf @ Sep 6 2009, 07:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Let me guess... the man was Eragon right? Or no? It was a great starter Eleria! I would love to see the next chappy! Is there ever going to be ONE Eragon POV? And who is Ninbein?

~ You're Reader And Friend, Star ;).gif


Eta, he is her 'shadow.' I refuse to elaborate.

No Eragon POVs ever, nor Roran.

Maybe the shadow will get one, though!

If he does it won't be until much later.

Ninbein is....

I won't tell you, but maybe Eka eddyr Mor'ranr will, ask her.



@Eka eddyr Mor'ranr; Don't feel pressured to tell her, and we will speak of Chapter 2: Proposals momentarily.


#6 User is offline   Slytha Tieneun Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:36 PM

Wow, this is very good. I definatly like seeing Arya's emotions, and her being compared to a diamond was great too. thumbup.gif I can't wait to read the next one!
~S.T.~
"AaAhHhAaA! Did she loose!?"
"AaAhHhAaA! She Won!!"

#7 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 06:41 PM

QUOTE (Slytha Tieneun @ Sep 6 2009, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow, this is very good. I definatly like seeing Arya's emotions, and her being compared to a diamond was great too. thumbup.gif I can't wait to read the next one!
~S.T.~


Thank you, and I can't wait to read it either, as I won't be writing it, though I am currently storyboarding it for Mor'ranr!

#8 User is offline   soldierofwill Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 07:14 PM

Nice start peoples. I didn't get it though. A shadow was talking to Arya? Or what? Hope you can explain that. Other than that it was very interesting and can't wait for more. But I know a secret that you(Eleria) gave away. But I won't let it slip.
Keep it up! thumbup.gif
yours and Eka eddyr Morranr new reader soldier of will. Bye welcome.gif
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#9 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 06 September 2009 - 07:49 PM

QUOTE (soldierofwill @ Sep 6 2009, 08:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nice start peoples. I didn't get it though. A shadow was talking to Arya? Or what? Hope you can explain that. Other than that it was very interesting and can't wait for more. But I know a secret that you(Eleria) gave away. But I won't let it slip.
Keep it up! thumbup.gif
yours and Eka eddyr Morranr new reader soldier of will. Bye welcome.gif


She calls it her 'shadow' for lack of a better word, because it follows her everywhere, but it is an enigma, even to her. Their history will be explained in-depth later.

And you had better not tell! I haven't even told my co-author yet! (Sorry Mor'ranr I forgot, I will text it to you later!)

#10 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 10:57 AM

Well, here it is!

Sorry for not waiting for your approval Mor'ranr, but your cell phone is dead, apparently, and you haven't emailed me back either, so I got tired of waiting, hope you like it!



Chapter Two: Proposals



“I say we attack from all sides, with the majority of the troops on the East Wall!” yelled Khaldan, a Surdan commander, his face nearly turning the color of a cherry tomato.

“No, we should focus on the West Wall, as it is weaker, and besides, we can’t encircle them, we would be spread far too thin!” replied Jormundor, equally as zealously as his counter-part.

Nasuada was sitting at the head of the table in her command tent, listening to the commanders bicker, as they had been all morning, on their plans for the siege of Belatona. They had all been at each other’s throats for seven hours now, and no one was making any headway.

It had started off with only Khaldan and Jormundor bickering, but, when they took a recess for lunch, the commanders had all chosen to take the side of their nationality in the arguments. This was now more about regional loyalty than anything else.

“Will the dwarves be there?” came the deep, booming voice of Martland Redbeard.

“No, were you not listening at all?” Nasuada was surprised to hear herself say such a thing, especially so because he had just lost his wife to a strange disease the elves called ‘cancer,’ in which one’s own body destroyed itself, and normally she would have been very careful not to upset a person at a time like that.

This must really be getting to me, thought Nasuada, I am never so careless! What would fath—

“My Lady?” Roran’s voice was laced with concern, “Are you all right? We asked you a question and you did not respond immediately as you normally would, given the nature of the question.”

Whoops. “I am just fine, thank you.” I cannot believe I missed something like that. I should just relax, all will be fine, and it is not as if I actually have a choice, anyway. For the good of the Varden I have to—

“Lady Nasuada, with all due respect, you haven’t answered the question,” said Orrin, clearly aggravated by her lapse of concentration.

I really need to calm down, I can do it, I must. “What was the question, I seem to have missed it,” Nasuada said, making her voice as sweet and level as possible.

“When will the Varden resume marching?” Orrin asked, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

“We will march tomorrow, just after a major announcement I plan to make at dawn. We can discuss Belatona when we get there, dismissed!” Finally.

“But—”

“No buts Khaldan, everyone out! Except you, Orrin, please stay.”

The commanders filled out one-by-one, throwing nasty glances at each other and grumbling amongst themselves. Every one of them seemed irate, from the hulking Martland Redbeard to the short, but devious, Commander Khaldan, and the majority of their aggravation seemed to be at the other nation.

This is not good, thought Nasuada, they are taking sides based on their country.

“They are taking up arms against each other Nasuada, one false move at this point and any one of them could start another war.”

Her temper flaring, Nasuada snapped back at him, “I am aware of that fact Orrin, that is why I called this meeting!” Calm down, Nasuada, there is no need to snap at him like that, it will only make things worse.

“Oh,” said Orrin, one eyebrow cocked up skeptically.

“Yes, the tension between the Varden and Surda is escalating.” Her tone was as grim as blackest death.

So this is what it is like to see the face of your executioner.

“I know that Nasuada, I just said much the same!” Orrin said, his voice rising in volume slightly.

I must do it, I have no choice. Events are the soldier’s swords, prodding me on towards the platform.

“I know that you know Orrin, but we need to do something about it.”

I have been forced up the steps, now.

“And what would you have us do?” Orrin’s skepticism was now evident in his voice, and his face betrayed much doubt.

I am standing on the trapdoor.

“I know but one way to solve this problem, Orrin, will you marry me?”

The noose is around my neck.

Orrin sat, deep in thought.

Perhaps I may still receive the Governor’s Pardon! Nasuada thought jubilantly, Perhaps he will still refuse!

Orrin opened his mouth to utter the phrase that would decide Nasuada’s fate.

Please Gokukara, let him refuse!

“Aye, I will marry you Nasuada.”

I am hung.

All reality ceased to exist for Nasuada then, it was as if she had taken a sword to the gut.

Her heart was empty, cold, indifferent, she felt numb.

I am hung.

Somewhere deep inside she heard a ‘pop’ and all noise was obliviated from her knowledge.

I am hung.

She saw everything as she were in her last moment, every little detail painstakingly obvious to her, but she cared not.

I am hung.


And then she breathed in and the moment was over.

A crashing wall of sound assailed her from all sides, but she knew it not, and her tears clouded her vision, but she knew not them either, nor the fact that she had sprinted from the pavilion and was now running into her tent.

All she knew was misery.

I am hung, she thought to herself a final time as she threw herself onto her cot, allowing her misery to consume her and her jumbled thoughts to wash over her. And yet, through all that, a single thought was coherent.

Murtagh I am so sorry....



Ta-da!

What do you guys think of it?


@Mor'ranr; Sorry I didn't wait for ya, but you know how impatient I can be! Smilieblush.gif


#11 User is offline   Eka eddyr Morranr Icon

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 11:28 AM

[grumbles] Yeah, yeah. Sorry that my phone died and me mum dragged me to stores all morning. [cease grumbling]

wallbash.gif Me so stupid! I was gonna go on earlier, but I decided to sleep. GAH!!! Stupid sleep-y-ness.

Anyhoo, I must be off, farewell, Buttons and readers, for I must leave.
AxK FOREVER!!!

#12 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE (Eka eddyr Morranr @ Sep 7 2009, 12:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[grumbles] Yeah, yeah. Sorry that my phone died and me mum dragged me to stores all morning. [cease grumbling]

wallbash.gif Me so stupid! I was gonna go on earlier, but I decided to sleep. GAH!!! Stupid sleep-y-ness.

Anyhoo, I must be off, farewell, Buttons and readers, for I must leave.


Humph. You should charge your phone more often.

May we work on the update while I am at your house?

#13 User is offline   darkangel447 Icon

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 11:48 AM

Wow.

Its nice to see a different side of Arya! That was totally unexpected!
I agree with SSW, what a way to start!

The flow of the writting from both authors is incredible, you catch the attention and keep it! Well Done guys thumbsup.gif

Any news on an update anytime soon?

Your newest reader
Dark

#14 User is offline   soldierofwill Icon

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 12:12 PM

Wait! I thought you said you were going to focus mainly on Arya and I quote:

"No Eragon POVs ever, nor Roran." I thought that included Nasuada?

Yeah so I thought you would just have Arya through the whole thing. And later you will censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif . Ha! It's fun knowing a secret you accidentally gave out. Can't wait for more!
Keep it up! thumbup.gif
Yours and Eka eddyr Morranr reader soldierofwill. Bye welcome.gif
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#15 User is offline   Eleria Icon

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 12:54 PM

QUOTE (soldierofwill @ Sep 7 2009, 01:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wait! I thought you said you were going to focus mainly on Arya and I quote:

"No Eragon POVs ever, nor Roran." I thought that included Nasuada?

Yeah so I thought you would just have Arya through the whole thing. And later you will censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif . Ha! It's fun knowing a secret you accidentally gave out. Can't wait for more!
Keep it up! thumbup.gif
Yours and Eka eddyr Morranr reader soldierofwill. Bye welcome.gif


Nasuada isn't Eragon or Roran, and she is only a sub-plot.


@dark; I am at Mor'ranr's house now, we are talking over the nxt chapter as soon as I post this.

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