[Ramrbaen]

Well, this is my first go at poetry in a long while, but it seems to relax me, which is what I need at the moment.

So this is a poem I wrote about 5 minutes ago.

Tears


Rolling down your cheeks,
Subtly caressing your face,
Those moments of pure emotion
Fall to the floor,
Lost in a heartbeat.


Liquid passion,
Showing the true colours of your soul.
Not always seen, but always felt;
The universal connection between humanity
So simple, yet complex.


You cry, I cry.
Your tears dance their way down your cheeks,
Gently swerving, drifting, flowing.
Our faces meld, our tears meld,
Weaving their way to earth.


We sit for a while,
Stuck in this moment of sorrow;
Still the tears fall.
Nothing else seems to matter, just the
Tears.

-----

Any form of criticism is fine

[Blazing Elf]

In my opinion that poem was very nice, keep up the good work.

[potter573]

You do have potential. But in my opinion the poem doesn't flow well. You do have your moments like:

You cry, I cry.
Your tears dance their way down your cheeks,
Gently swerving, drifting, flowing.
Our faces meld, our tears meld,
Weaving their way to earth.

But on the whole it requires a gentle touch of some genius work.

My humble thoughts.