[giorgia]

Hi guys! This two poems was written when I was at my work waiting for customers to arrive. I decided to post it because I am curious of what you guys will think about it.

My poems:
Dragons...
Love...
Untitled...
Journal...
Nightmare...
May you be my Valentine?

So here is the first one:

DRAGONS

Fly, fly away,
Let the wind blow your tail.
Wings flapping,
joy in hunting.

Mighty dragon,
weigh like a ton,
glitters of scale,
more mightier than a gale.

Scales like rainbow,
surpassed even the color of stars' glow.

*I was thinking of Saphira on that time which where I got my inspiration.
This doesn't need to take seriously for it was just the outcome of my boredom. BUt feel free to criticize.*

Okay, there's another one.

LOVE

Love is an enigma,
Once it erupts,
it's like a magma.
Sweeping through the deep,
awakens the monster that sleeps.


Love can be lightning,
it strikes as though bursting.
Bursting with butterfly,
turns out to be a lullaby.

Love is a light,
enlightens the dark that eas once not in sight.
All the caress it brings,
eternity is nothing.

Love is an obliterator,
though blossoms the beauty,
pain it brings is a mighty.

*Hope you guys like it. I'm not really poetic but out of boredom I did that.
So, hope at least you might like it although it isn't very good.*

This post has been edited by giorgia: 06 March 2010 - 01:26 AM

[giorgia]

No one even read this.



P.S. Sorry for the double post.

[pretzalman]

No one even read this.



P.S. Sorry for the double post.

I think your poems are good, I don't consider myself a poet, but the one thing I don't really like in poems is constant rhyming. Yours is good because it isn't incessant.

[pretzalman]

Oh and also, not to be a know-it-all, but when you put Voulez-Vous manger mon Dragon? Manger would be wrong, manger means to eat, it's infinitive, what you want is mange. The e would have an accent.

Sorry couldn't help myself, I'm a grammar nerd.

Still great poems though, keep at it!

[giorgia]

Oh and also, not to be a know-it-all, but when you put Voulez-Vous manger mon Dragon? Manger would be wrong, manger means to eat, it's infinitive, what you want is mange. The e would have an accent.

Sorry couldn't help myself, I'm a grammar nerd.

Still great poems though, keep at it!

Oh thanks pretzalman
Anyway, about that manger thing, it's about how many post I've done. And as you can see, I made 300+ post so it was changed. I think you'll get what I mean after sometime.

This post has been edited by giorgia: 10 November 2009 - 11:29 PM

[EragonsTrueName]

By no means am I a poet, but I thought they were pretty good... I especially liked the second one. Very nice.

[SnapeandMurtagh ROCK]

No one even read this.

Aww, I know what that feels like!

Your poems are quite good. There are grammatical mistakes, but I like the way you picturize things- the magma, lightning, etc., very nice

Also, this line- 'awaken the monster that sleeps', reminds me of Harry (Potter), and the way he feels when he sees someone kissing Ginny!

And I love the word 'obliterator'. It's so true how love wipes everything else away from the mind.

Good job! Oh, and I posted another one that I've written too, btw

This post has been edited by SnapeandMurtagh ROCK: 16 November 2009 - 12:25 AM

[giorgia]

No one even read this.

Aww, I know what that feels like!

Your poems are quite good. There are grammatical mistakes, but I like the way you picturize things- the magma, lightning, etc., very nice

Also, this line- 'awaken the monster that sleeps', reminds me of Harry (Potter), and the way he feels when he sees someone kissing Ginny!

And I love the word 'obliterator'. It's so true how love wipes everything else away from the mind.

Good job! Oh, and I posted another one that I've written too, btw

Oh thanks!!! I appreciate that!! And for my grammatical errors: yeah, that was expected. English isn't my native language so, yeah..haha..Okay, I will look at your poem but not now. I apologise because I will be gone in a week for I am having a tour with my friends and that they're waiting for me outside now. No worries, I'll PROMISE i will have a look on it when I come back. And I'm expecting it to be good as well. No, it is better than me of course!!!

This post has been edited by giorgia: 16 November 2009 - 02:17 PM

[Lemon Drop Kid]

English isn't your native language? Excuse me, but aren't you living in Australia, where the language is English?

As for your poems, they are rather good. There was a mistake in the first one; you wrote blow instead of below...I think..

I liked your second poem better than the first one. Maybe because it was longer...I'm not sure cause I can't write poems for nuts!!

your friend,
Eraphira
P.S. You work? What for?

[giorgia]

English isn't your native language? Excuse me, but aren't you living in Australia, where the language is English?

As for your poems, they are rather good. There was a mistake in the first one; you wrote blow instead of below...I think..

I liked your second poem better than the first one. Maybe because it was longer...I'm not sure cause I can't write poems for nuts!!

your friend,
Eraphira
P.S. You work? What for?

haha..well, yes!! english isn't my native tongue..hehe..

Anyway, I have a part-time job at a restaurant and while waiting for, you know, customers- which was kinda boring-I did that.

And oh! , I edited the word 'blow'..hehe..it's supposed to be 'glow' though..

This post has been edited by giorgia: 31 December 2009 - 01:33 PM

[giorgia]

*sigh* Hi guys! Again, here I am, curious as to what you guys will think about my..another random poem..hehe..It has been said already that I suck at grammar so bear with me..anyway, here's another one of my poem and well, hope you like it too.

UNTITLED

Sitting on my bed,
Pillows on my head.
Blankets around me,
but your comfort is all I need.

Staring at my ceiling,
hoping to ease,
the pain I am feeling.

The moments we enjoyed,
the thoughts we shared,
evidence of love that cannot be compared.

When you're at my side,
with our hands intertwined,
I don't want to retreat,
all along,
I surrender completely in your heat.

In love of ours we are lost,
as if we're wandering along the coast.
But once found,
who would stay on ground?

The hurt you brought me,
it took away my whole sanity.

I am breaking away,
you're tearing me apart.
How can I give way,
if what I know is to follow your path.

I know it sucks!! But oh well..

--gg

P.S. Happy NEW year Everyone!!!

This post has been edited by giorgia: 13 January 2010 - 02:03 PM

[General Assembly]

I like them. : D

[giorgia]

I like them. : D

Nice!! Thanks for that GA!!:thumbsup:

--gg

[EragonPwnsShades]

Wow...Both your poems are awesome! I really liked them.. Especially the second one..



EPS

[giorgia]

Wow...Both your poems are awesome! I really liked them.. Especially the second one..



EPS

Thank you EPS!! I have some more but I am still undecided whether to post it or ot!ANyway, thanks again!

--gg